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Old 09-08-2015, 05:17 PM   #993
Replaced_Texan
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Romantically enfranchised
Posts: 14,251
Re: Ketchup

Quote:
Originally Posted by ThurgreedMarshall View Post
I completely disagree. If he is unable to perform sexually and does not want her to fuck other guys, given that they made vows to be faithful (presumably in sickness or in health), it is not okay to get some on the side. The fact that she doesn't get permission in advance and has to do it in secret is the exact issue. If she is not satisfied to the extent she has to get it elsewhere and lie and keep it a secret, she is in the wrong. She should get a divorce.

Well, maybe you and I have different ideas of what marriage means. If your wife agrees to be faithful no matter what and you get sick such that you have problems performing, her sneaking around and getting it elsewhere without telling should be fatal. If she can't live with her promise, she should ask for a divorce (which are granted for loss of consortium).

You're right. It's a shitty example. But I don't think you can come up with one that doesn't involve consent from the other person, which destroys the example.

If Hank plows my wife, everybody dies.

TM
I tend to side with Adder on the usefulness of jealousy in general. My husband is surrounded by/works with gorgeous women in yoga clothes during the day and gorgeous women who take off their clothes at night. And women, for whatever reason, tend to hit on the DJ all the fucking time. But I trust him, and bless him, he says I'm beautiful. So I send him off to all these other women not particularly worried that anything is going to happen.

That said, betraying trust is a big fucking deal in my book. If things aren't working out in one aspect of our relationship and someone needs to fuck around, that person damned well better talk about it with the other one first. We have a lot of friends in various stages of open relationships, and we've seen first hand the headaches they can cause. One of the very first conversations we ever had about our relationship status was "can you do open relationship" and both of us were firmly on the "no" side. I don't see that changing, but maybe we'd be ok with it if there were some other issue going on. But we wouldn't be ok with going behind each other's back. At. All. Doesn't matter how discreet or courteous or otherwise conscious of how we're not trying to hurt the other person. Without talking about it, without full buy in from the other partner, it's not ok.

This is one of the better discussions (including the comment section) I've seen on the subject: http://www.theawl.com/2013/07/ask-po...eat-on-my-wife
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