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Originally Posted by ThurgreedMarshall
On that spectrum of behavior that ranges from "shared a meaningful, respectful, generous, and fulfilling night" to "rape," there lies a point where he may think they were having fun, hasn't forced her to do anything and yet hasn't acted in a way his sexual partner feels happy about.
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That point is as soon as she feels he has done something coercive, disrpectful or non-consensual degrading. There's no point after she feels victimized where his privacy nevertheless wins out.
I really don't think you disagree with that although you seem to want to reserve your own judgment as to whether she was reasonable in feeling victimized. I get that sentiment - she could be truly off the wall - but I'm deeply wary of deciding that for anyone given that I have no experience at all of being in those shoes.
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But you keep arguing that he should have absolutely no expectation of privacy in a situation in which he may not have even picked up on how he made someone feel uncomfortable.
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I don't really think his lack of awareness comes into it, exactly because the point here is that the change we are looking for is that he be more aware.
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. When he is seeking out someone who he thinks will be discrete and chooses partners carefully, that's evidence that he has an expectation that they respect his privacy.
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Huh. I think it's exactly the opposite. I think it's that he doesn't expect privacy that he needs to be particularly careful to find someone who will afford him unexpected consideration.
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Just because people are shitty, he shouldn't expect them not to be
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I guess I think that's what "expect" ⎌means.
