Quote:
Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski
Doesn't a lot have to do with if em is honest with one's spouse about the existence of the friendship from the start. sounds like ncs's friend found out about hubby's emotional friend some time after the friendship had been going on.
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I think that's certainly part of it - the non-disclosed or inadequately disclosed relationship.
I think it's almost a combined subjective and objective standard. John's spouse may feel betrayed because he didn't tell her about his close friendship with Sue and how they bonded over discussions of Austen novels in the break room, but a "reasonable person" outsider might not consider that to be an "emotional affair." Doesn't mean John's wife isn't rightfully upset; maybe it's a major breach of their specific relationship even if it's a minor breach of the typical one.
If, however, we have the same facts and add that John takes Sue out for fancy dinners, gives her diamonds for her birthday, and has roses delivered to her desk on Valentines Day, that same reasonable outsider would likely say "yup, that's cheating" even without physical intimacy.
