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Old 11-29-2018, 09:52 AM   #4232
Pretty Little Flower
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Flower
Posts: 8,434
Re: Sebby is 100% full of shit

Quote:
Originally Posted by sebastian_dangerfield View Post
You’re a moderate like me. Just have a scotch and watch.

I get invested because I don’t litigate anymore, and I desire to get into deep issues. But afterward, I’m just depressed. People are dumb as dogshit, and tribal as all fuck.

I keep forgetting to just tend my own garden. I did my good deed for this life (seriously, I did, in re justice reform). I’m done.
Would you fucking stop talking about tending your own garden. As if it putting some Voltairian gloss on your nakedly self-absorbed sociopathic assholery elevates it to some sort of noble philosophy. Can anyone imagine being friends with someone like that?

[The scene: A soulless McMansion in the Philadelphia suburbs]

Sebastian: Good to see you, my man. But is that a spread collar you're wearing?

Suburban Douchebag 1: Yes, I've been a bit down on my luck. Any chance I could trouble you for a shirt with a less out-dated collar?

Sebastian: Sorry, dude, I'd like to help, but actually, I wouldn't like to help. I'm tending my own garden these days.

Suburban Douchebag 2: That's what she said!

Suburban Douchebag 1 [disappointed]: Ah, o.k., I understand . . . Candide.

Suburban Douchebag 2: Buck up, bro-dawg, the non-duty of empathy is a two-way street!

All [raising their Michelob Ultras into the air]: No duty of empathy!!
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