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[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by Replaced_Texan

I tend to side with Adder on the usefulness of jealousy in general. My husband is surrounded by/works with gorgeous women in yoga clothes during the day and gorgeous women who take off their clothes at night. And women, for whatever reason, tend to hit on the DJ all the fucking time. But I trust him, and bless him, he says I'm beautiful. So I send him off to all these other women not particularly worried that anything is going to happen.

That said, betraying trust is a big fucking deal in my book. If things aren't working out in one aspect of our relationship and someone needs to fuck around, that person damned well better talk about it with the other one first. We have a lot of friends in various stages of open relationships, and we've seen first hand the headaches they can cause. One of the very first conversations we ever had about our relationship status was "can you do open relationship" and both of us were firmly on the "no" side. I don't see that changing, but maybe we'd be ok with it if there were some other issue going on. But we wouldn't be ok with going behind each other's back. At. All. Doesn't matter how discreet or courteous or otherwise conscious of how we're not trying to hurt the other person. Without talking about it, without full buy in from the other partner, it's not ok.

This is one of the better discussions (including the comment section) I've seen on the subject: http://www.theawl.com/2013/07/ask-po...eat-on-my-wife

sounds to me like you disagree with Adder. I trust my wife 100%, I'm sure thurgreed trusts his. No one was saying anything to the contrary.