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Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski
I got all that.
The lady in Maryland, what she said in the bar is such that it is absurd for her to even be in denial- even given the Fragility thing. But I also think if a white guy like your bar guy had done that publicly it is natural to deny anything. The internet and the camera do not care. There is no growth there. If I were caught saying the word (and I have in my youth) and were interviewed about it I would go full Donald Trump. I might even try to hire Sarah Sanders to convince people I didn't say it. But I would still hope on my own I looked inward and tried to grow from the realization that I had some shit to learn. I think that is the true goal?
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Should it be a goal for someone who says racist shit to learn that it is unacceptable and grow? Uh...yes?
I don't understand the rest of your paragraph. I'm not sure why you're talking about denials. Neither person in either example denied the use of the word. They denied they are racist. This delusion is really the only theme I'm trying to draw attention to.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski
But what I was asking was 2 things- the guy's slur to you, could he have recovered in your eyes? Shown some remorse? Okay if no possibility for you, but I was curious.
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No. He can suck all the dicks. He can show as much remorse as he wants, he's cooked as far as I'm concerned.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski
And I judge my anti-semite based upon who they are. I was asking if you do the same as to racists? Someone my dad's generation carried a whole bigger bag of racist shit than I do; Is more likely to use the phrase you mention. Doesn't mean he ain't a racist for using it, but the % of people who are racist hopefully drops each generation, so maybe an older guy gets a bit more understanding?
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No. I've said this on this board before. If it was natural to be racist in the 50s and 60s, it is not acceptable now. And you watched the change occur. If you're still holding on to those feelings, I should cut you some slack? I should understand? No chance.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski
Is that a factor at all. Again, okay if you say nope.
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It's a factor in that it is clear that you are a full-on racist and apparently beyond redemption.
That said, do I think all racists are to be thrown out? No. But it's not my responsibility or desire to give them relief when they let their racism slip. And that's really what this guy wanted. He didn't like that I thought of him as racist. He doesn't believe he is. And he's upset that I do. He's not taking a personal growth moment from what happened. He wants absolution from a black guy. Not here for it.
But let me add that I have talked to everyone on this board a number of times about a book that I think is very helpful in understanding these issues and the responses white people give when they are put in the uncomfortable situation of discussing their own racism. I would be shocked if anyone here has even
bought the book, let alone read it.
TM
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