Where the Kids Come to Mouth Off

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy
Sometimes other people in underwear are just walking around here, too.

That isn't underwear, and Coltrane wants a raise.

[Not Bob]

Originally posted by Anne Elk
Apprentice announces candidates:
Ivana, 28, an investor from Boston

Two things:

(a) Jesus H. Christ. Donald is drooling over the prospect of firing her. Talk about good news/bad news -- "sweetie, your name guarantees that you'll get on the show. Unfortunately, it also means that you won't win."

(2) What does "an investor" mean? I'm picturing a slighty guilty trust-fund kid.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
That isn't underwear, and Coltrane wants a raise.

You're too young for a walker, Greedy. Although diapers would probably come in handy for Century Club....

[idle acts]

Originally posted by leagleaze
I like the fact she has a purse. Very femme.

And here I was asking, "Who the heck carries a purse to a naked protest?" I should have guessed it was you. . .

[Not Bob]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
When I was about 8, I had a series of vivid and bone-chilling nightmares involving an Evil Plant.

I say this because I love you: get help. Quickly.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
What do you want, a Piston named? We sent your coach . . . who now is in the same bucket as John Thompson and Henry Iba

Well then send some Pacers, or more Nets*, but don't tell me Kobe and Shaq are world beaters- they lost 5 games in the NBA finals. I don't think Shaq adds much to the team that was there, Kobe can maybe hit some open 3s, but do you think he fits into a team concept?

*2 Pistons were asked and turned them down, of course Rip was like the 4th or 5th shooting guard asked and Ben Wallace was asked late too. And the Pistons were a pretty good team, objectively.

[Anne Elk]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
how many pieces did you typically wear? were you an overachiever?

Two or three small ones. Me, over acheiver? You're funny.

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy
I am often walking around non-challantly in my underwear in the office, on the street, etc. In my dreams.

Then I notice. A sort of emperor with almost no clothes thing.

I get that one every now and then. Of course as soon as I notice, everyone else clues in, and I go through some sit-com bit and run from tree to bush to tree (surprisingly, there aren't ever any jog bra issues in these dreams) trying to avoid being noticed.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Hot. Have you ever had a dream where you are in a moving car where nobody is driving and you're struggling to get access to the controls? Usually in that dream I am in the back seat. Sometimes I'm in pajamas or a robe. Often the car is a white 1970s Mercury Marquis.

Do with it what you will.

And I'm always driving stick shift. No automatic for me.

Usually my feet are caught. Or the controls just don't work. But I'm in the front seat (either driver's side or passenger). I have this one so frequently that I think it's really happened. The make of the car is not important.

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
That is the difference between you and me. In my underwear, I always walk around challantly.

I'm pretty challant when I'm walking around in your underwear, too.

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
And I'm always driving stick shift. No automatic for me.

Usually my feet are caught. Or the controls just don't work. But I'm in the front seat (either driver's side or passenger). I have this one so frequently that I think it's really happened. The make of the car is not important.

I had one when I was youn, after the car rolling incident (6 or 7) but before I was old enough to drive (13), where I was behind the wheel and had to get somewhere fast but I had no idea how to make it go. I think it may have been my grandfather's yellow Caddilac. It was a very scary dream.

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
I get that one every now and then. Of course as soon as I notice, everyone else clues in, and I go through some sit-com bit and run from tree to bush to tree (surprisingly, there aren't ever any jog bra issues in these dreams) trying to avoid being noticed.

Do you remember that place in Zorro where Antonio Banderas slices off Catherine Zeta Jone's straps?

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by Not Bob
I say this because I love you: get help. Quickly.

Didn't you read the rest of the post? He kicked some major plant ass. Way to go, Atticus!

[bold_n_brazen]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
I'm always driving in my naked dreams.

Not so long ago, I had a dream that I disrobed entirely while in a moving car. I was not the driver of said car. It is important to note that in the dream I removed my jeans before removing my boots.

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
When I was about 8, I had a series of vivid and bone-chilling nightmares involving an Evil Plant. Many plants are Bad or Wrong (hi, PLF!), but this plant was Evil. It could kill people who had touched it long after they had gotten home and gone to sleep, etc. And no one knew about its villainy but me. I bore the sad and lonely duty of guarding the Evil Plant to keep away the endless parade of clueless gawkers, many of whom died despite my precautions. They called me mad!

What was weird about this dream was that it wasn't recurring --- it was serial. It was cinematic. Nay, it had a grandeur that was lacking in 1970s cinema. It was operatic.

It culminated after several months in me convincing the President (who may or may not have been Carter, but was definitely a kindly old gentleman who took some pursuading of the danger --- FWIW) to let me take the redwood slat half-barrel in which Evil Plant made its home out on a battleship to drop it into some trench in the Pacific. Still it lurks there.

What was also weird is that my 8-year-old brain came up with this story before ever having seen "Little Shop of Horrors" or having read "Rappaccini's Daughter." I mean, at the end of the day it was just a fucking plant and could be dropped off a battleship without putting up much of a fight. Fuckin' punk-ass pussy plant. Boo-yah!

Hi!