Happy Birthday, Preston Michael Spears Federline and other Certain Special Someones!

Originally posted by ironweed
Ok. Now you're just completely overthinking this whole somewhat-but-not-really-all-that-entertaining story.

BTW, speaking of SBNRATES, my 5k loan friend is doing part-time proofreading work and has a new apartment. He broke the news to his wife (he had to with the whole getting-evicted thing and all) and she's still with him. Two days of silent treatment is a pretty small price to pay for what he got up to, IMHO. I was thinking today about how I could use five grand. If I ask him to kill someone for me, does he have to do it?

Trust me. The first story was by far, the most entertaining thing I have read today. Perhaps my work is so dull that this is dispropottionately humorous, but it works. I like to hear about Young Douchebags. In fact, I imagine this inveterate and accomplished young douche could be a baby sebby, and instead of mocking the interests by rattling off improper ones for a resume, em chose to mock by using such words as inveterate and accomplished. Sort of O'Harian as Sebby often is. In fact, I think you should hire em, so you can tell me how it turns out.

As for the other story, that was never entertaining. Just something to bet on. Or for the more sensitive amongst us (RT?), a human interest story.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
Can you make up some outside interests for me? Thanks.

Why not just include a picture of a slice of cake on your resume?

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
Why not just include a picture of a slice of cake on your resume?

How about "avid adipose collector"

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
Why not just include a picture of a slice of cake on your resume?

I'm too cheap to do color copies. Plus someone might ask me about like fancy cake-baking or something, and I'd be up shit creek.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Was this a call-back interview? If so, any opportunity to razz the OCI interviewer for sending this tool to you?

And Sebby, I have had people reply to me that they basically have no outside interests. One woman struggled for a minute and then said that she sometimes likes to see movies. Uh, ok.

The worst is the person who talks about how many organizations they’re in and how much charity they perform. “I’m in the Junior League, the Masons and the Freemasons. I’m head of the PTA, I organize canned food drives and my family and I are serious outdoor enthusiasts. Last year, I took two terminally ill crippled children rafting through the Grand Canyon. Did I mention my Peace Corps work in Somalia.”

I’m thinking “You. Are. So. Nixed.”

[Not Bob]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
Can you make up some outside interests for me? Thanks.

Besides "noirish sex"? Hmmm. How about competitive paintball, bonsai gardening, and adult literacy tutoring?

[Sparklehorse]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
The worst is the person who talks about how many organizations they’re in and how much charity they perform. “I’m in the Junior League, the Masons and the Freemasons. I’m head of the PTA, I organize canned food drives and my family and I are serious outdoor enthusiasts. Last year, I took two terminally ill crippled children rafting through the Grand Canyon. Did I mention my Peace Corps work in Somalia.”

I’m thinking “You. Are. So. Nixed.”

Just curious, why does charity work make a person particularly nix-worthy? Is it because it goes too far against the Greedy creed or is it the self-righteous bragging?

Originally posted by Sparklehorse
Just curious, why does charity work make a person particularly nix-worthy? Is it because it goes too far against the Greedy creed or is it the self-righteous bragging?

No, it would just be a daily reminder that Sebby is a little,little man, who hasnt returned the blessings he has been given, unless you count donating funbags to his wife

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Sparklehorse
Just curious, why does charity work make a person particularly nix-worthy? Is it because it goes too far against the Greedy creed or is it the self-righteous bragging?

The latter. I give to charity, and I do it anonymously. Talking about that shit and putting it on your resume means you're using it for mileage, which means its not really charity - its a business expense. Chucking that shit at me to impress me about how good a person you are is wasted breath and will sink you. I may have reading comp issues, but I can spot an asshole pretty quick.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by Not Bob
Besides "noirish sex"? Hmmm. How about competitive paintball, bonsai gardening, and adult literacy tutoring?

Because I don't do any of those things. I need something plausible.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
I don't play golf and am completely bored by it. When you started your post by writing about how boring golf if, you drew me in. It was not until I got through your entire fucking post that I realized it was actually just a bunch of boring drivel about golf disguised as a post complaining about people who spout boring drivel about golf. I particularly enjoyed the delicious irony of your final sentence. Kudos on a job well done.

Fascinating.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
No, it would just be a daily reminder that Sebby is a little,little man, who hasnt returned the blessings he has been given, unless you count donating funbags to his wife

Ahem, Pot?

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
I'm too cheap to do color copies. Plus someone might ask me about like fancy cake-baking or something, and I'd be up shit creek.

We almost hired someone based entirely on the bakery he opened while he "took some time away from the law." That he knew absolutely nothing about research law was superceded by the possibility that he might bring us cake on a regular basis.

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Ahem, Pot?

Yes please.

[Not Bob]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
Because I don't do any of those things. I need something plausible.

Oh. Well, I guess that reading/posting on the FB qualifies as sociological and anthropological research and writing.