General discussion - Mom and Dad Esq.

[Trepidation_Mom]

Originally posted by dtb
My m-i-l told me over the weekend ...

My mother in law told ME over the weekend that chocolate makes in-utero babies happy, and therefore I should be fed chocolate to my heart's content. She said it's been "medically proven."

I adore my mother in law. And that advice, so I thought I'd pass it along.

[dtb]

Originally posted by Trepidation_Mom
My mother in law told ME over the weekend that chocolate makes in-utero babies happy, and therefore I should be fed chocolate to my heart's content. She said it's been "medically proven."

I adore my mother in law. And that advice, so I thought I'd pass it along.

Excellent. (I should have noted that my m-i-l is a physician -- so she does have some experience with this sort of thing.)

[tmdiva]

This may be more appropriate for the FB, but . . .

So we're at a restaurant the other night, and each plate included as a garnish one of those pickled peppers. As the meal was wrapping up, Magnus handed his pepper to his dad, who put it on his plate. Just then, the waiter came and cleared away daddy's otherwise-empty plate. Magnus panicked, and said, "I need someone to eat my pickle!" "Don't we all," the waiter said, "Don't we all."

tm

[bilmore]

Originally posted by leagleaze
Speaking of adhd and add how are these being treated these days? Is the focus still on medications or are other efforts being made? If it is on medications what kind are being used?

Any thoughts?

L

Drugs are still the first recourse, but not the only one. We resisted them hard (after several diagnoses that were in agreement) and, instead, did an alt recommended heavy teach-him-to-concentrate approach, with lots and lots of one-on-one homework sessions over several years, including not only specific help with the work, but constant and general "look here - keep concentrating - what are you doing with your hands - put that gerbil down now and read the problem" badgering, combined with lots of "see? you finished it all - look at what you can do if you just work hard at keeping your attention on something until it's done." (This for a kid who was failing everything, who couldn't pay attention to anything for more than two minutes, and who was generally getting very down on himself. "I'm stupid, so why bother" was his credo by third grade.)

Now, we don't have to do that anymore, he consciously keeps himself focused until he finishes the task at hand (and tells us proudly that he's done, and can now go out and play early), and he gets a few C's, mostly B's, and a few A's. It's like he trained himself out of, or around, the ADHD. Not bad for a special ed kid. This approach is getting more and more popular for folks who don't want to zombie out their kid.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Trepidation_Mom
My mother in law told ME over the weekend that chocolate makes in-utero babies happy, and therefore I should be fed chocolate to my heart's content. She said it's been "medically proven."

I adore my mother in law. And that advice, so I thought I'd pass it along.

my mom told my wife that drinking alcohol, liberally, is very important for sucessful breast feeding

[Trepidation_Mom]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
my mom told my wife that drinking alcohol, liberally, is very important for sucessful breast feeding

I have this onsie on order.

[taxwonk]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
my mom told my wife that drinking alcohol, liberally, is very important for sucessful breast feeding

It's also very important for teething. Just a q-tip dipped in Basil Hayden across baby's gums and em'll calm down a whole bunch. Repeat as necessary or until your spouse or parents catch you.

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally posted by bilmore
Drugs are still the first recourse, but not the only one. We resisted them hard (after several diagnoses that were in agreement) and, instead, did an alt recommended heavy teach-him-to-concentrate approach, with lots and lots of one-on-one homework sessions over several years, including not only specific help with the work, but constant and general "look here - keep concentrating - what are you doing with your hands - put that gerbil down now and read the problem" badgering, combined with lots of "see? you finished it all - look at what you can do if you just work hard at keeping your attention on something until it's done." (This for a kid who was failing everything, who couldn't pay attention to anything for more than two minutes, and who was generally getting very down on himself. "I'm stupid, so why bother" was his credo by third grade.)

Now, we don't have to do that anymore, he consciously keeps himself focused until he finishes the task at hand (and tells us proudly that he's done, and can now go out and play early), and he gets a few C's, mostly B's, and a few A's. It's like he trained himself out of, or around, the ADHD. Not bad for a special ed kid. This approach is getting more and more popular for folks who don't want to zombie out their kid.

With out situation, drugs were not the first recourse, though a lot of schools push them because they make the kids easy to babysit. Our kids have been through extensive testing at a local teaching hospital that has specialists in the area, who determined that drugs were inappropriate for (and likely harmful to) the particular form of ADHD that they have. Instead, there has been special tutoring and a lot of interaction with their teachers on proper learning methods. The Masons actually have a dirt cheap to free program focused on the tutoring needed, and centers all over the country that are very good.

Of course, I am proud to say that ADHD and the associated learning disabilities that often accompany it are generally associated with high levels of intelligence, so changes to learning methods can be very effective among some types of ADHD because these are kids that are good at learning. But there are other types of ADHD where you need to calm them down so that they can focus and learn, and those are the types where drugs are usually appropriate. But, again, since there are many different types of ADHD and many different learning disorders associated with them, the key is finding someone who knows what they are talking about. Many of the schools, in particular, really don't have a clue and are doing damage with arm-chair diagnoses.

[leagleaze]

Interesting info, thanks guys.

[bilmore]

So, we're all in some hot beach-type vacation area, staying in a huge condo on a high floor. We're burned and sandy, and we all pack into the elevator to go up and eat lunch, along with four blue-haired old beach ladies, who are discussing how they all hate and fear bugs and creatures.

Medium-sized son has been out doing his normal nature-boy thing, and he has a big plastic bag in his hand, full of his finds. I have no idea what's in it, but then I hear it make a noise.

He hears it, too, and his reaction is to sort of jump and drop the bag.

Well, he's been catching crabs in the dunes. Ten or fifteen crabs scuttle out of the bag, and start running around the elevator floor, to the screaming and jumping of the blue-hairs. It was like a very loud and frantic scene from a Three Stooges movie.

We never did make friends with those people after that.

[lawyer_princess]

Have any of you, or anyone you know, ever taken some time off? Frankly, I need a break. I need to a spend more time with my family. I'm stressed out and miserable.

Is it realistic to take off a year and work on my mental health?

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by lawyer_princess
Have any of you, or anyone you know, ever taken some time off? Frankly, I need a break. I need to a spend more time with my family. I'm stressed out and miserable.

Is it realistic to take off a year and work on my mental health?

I've known people who have done it, for a variety of reasons, including ones similar to yours (based on the limited info you've provided).

It's realistic to do it, but you have to define your goals a bit to figure out whether you can/should.

First, financial issues. Can it be done

Second, employer issues. Will they let you do it and guarantee a job if you come back (do you care, anyway).

Third future employability issues. Will your employer set you back for , e.g. partnership. Also, can you "hide" the gap on your resume (stop listing months, or explain the gap (you had kids).

The people I've known to have done it have often "found" themselves, and realized that being a lawyer wasn't what they wanted. If it will help you decide that, obviously you should do it. But be aware that coming back after a year may not be hte exact same place you left off, either because you don't want it to be or your employer isn't in a position to let it be.

[bilmore]

Originally posted by lawyer_princess
Is it realistic to take off a year and work on my mental health?

I've read your posts. I'd think more in terms of five years.

(Yuk yuk yuk . . .)

I do know people who have done this. My wife did it, and her year has now lasted for seven years. She's happier, I'm happier, the kids are happier - pretty much a win-win. Except for the fact that we're poorer, but, looking back, that was a small price to pay. Unhappy rich people suck to be around.

Of the people I know who did it for the year, the ones who made the best use of it were the ones who were pretty sure of finding a spot to come back to in the profession, or didn't care. The ones who didn't really plan that part out, even though it was important to them, spent a good part of their sabattical worrying about getting back in, which is not good for mental health.

I would say, based on my experience, that the best route, if you can afford it, would be to simply stop working in your field, and plan on re-examining that decision in a year. That way, you're not pressuring yourself all year to stay current, or keep in contact, or . . . whatever ways we can come up with that can transform a mental health year into a year of worry.

[Sidd Finch]

Originally posted by lawyer_princess
Have any of you, or anyone you know, ever taken some time off? Frankly, I need a break. I need to a spend more time with my family. I'm stressed out and miserable.

Is it realistic to take off a year and work on my mental health?

Can you afford to?

And can you afford not to?

If you've felt this way for awhile (like more than a few months), and if it's largely job-related, then you should do it if at all possible.

And give yourself at least six months before you even start thinking about what to do next, whether to practice law again or where, etc.

Sorry for the fragmented response, but gotta go....

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by lawyer_princess
Have any of you, or anyone you know, ever taken some time off? Frankly, I need a break. I need to a spend more time with my family. I'm stressed out and miserable.

Is it realistic to take off a year and work on my mental health?

I concur with the advice given, but would add that many lawyers are notorious control freaks, and don't necessarily get the mileage out of a sabbatical that more laid-back people do. Clergy do sabbaticals with the specific purpose of revitalizing their personal spiritual lives; if you live and die by your to-do list, leaving it behind won't necessarily work and you'll need an "agenda" or goals for your sabbatical. If you wind up obsessing about the "consequences" to your career in making this decision, chances are you're not in a frame of mind where TRG* is going to be therapeutic.

I guess what I'm saying is that you gotta get your mind right on why you're doing a sabbatical; if you just assume things will fall into place magically when you stop working, you may wind up disappointed. Getting to know what you want is actually hard work.

*Temporary Removal from the Group. In-vogue 1970s term in correctional facilities. We use it with our kids.