It's all about me

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Looks like the transformation is complete. WIld, show touring, mushroom congesting, marlboro light smoking, hackeysack playing free spirit is now middle ages suburban middle class commuter guy. I am so depressed. Its like Coltrane is the only youngster amonst us and he probalby has one foot inthe grave thanks to Sequels and her mainstream movie prefernces and ticking clock to be.

It's only a matter of time.

Save me!

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
I often fall asleep before takeoff if I'm tired. but I never sleep more than an hour (or on really long flights, two) and then I'm typically wide awake for the rest of the flight. Though sometimes I half-sleep a little more with my mp3 player going.

Fuck it, having just reread this post I realize there's no hard and fast rule regarding sleeping on planes for me. There are however hard and fast rules for me in other areas. In case you were all wondering. And I know Coltrane was.

On one or two occassions, I have had to unstick myself from the window of a plane shortly before landing. How my cheek became glued to the window, I have no idea, as I became unconscious shortly after take-off. I do request window seats, though, so as to avoid becoming glued to the person sitting next to me and/or decapitation by the drink trolly.

[Alex_de_Large]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Looks like the transformation is complete. WIld, show touring, mushroom congesting, marlboro light smoking, hackeysack playing free spirit is now middle ages suburban middle class commuter guy. I am so depressed. Its like Coltrane is the only youngster amonst us and he probalby has one foot inthe grave thanks to Sequels and her mainstream movie prefernces and ticking clock to be.

Man, I was afraid of this when he moved out the burbs and bought a second SUV...

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Of course not. Unmarried women over 30 are either too busy fucking Coltrane-types to watch TV, or watching SportsCenter.

I personally watch the N when not fucking Coltrane. There's no advertising.

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
I personally watch the N when not fucking Coltrane. There's no advertising.

The only advertising I actually see these days is during live sporting events. Another reason I love TiVo.

[bold_n_brazen]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Oh. I never feel sleepy from champagne, but that may be because of the cocaine I do with it.

Mom?

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
I fucking hate it when some stranger has the armrest up and thinks that I will sit down next to him/her. I don't care what the reason is for putting it up. I don't like people enough to put up with some person I don't know touching me (except Goofy, of course... if you read these boards, Goofy, PM me!). I don't consider myself particularly fattist, but I firmly believe that if you can't fit into your seat on an airplane, you should buy yourself a second seat. If you can't afford it, I'm sorry, but I bought the right to all of the space on and in front of my seat.

And for fuck's sake, If I'm crammed in the middle seat, someone let me use a fucking armrest. I hate it when the windows and aisles take up two each.

You probably like the airline personnel, too. Helsinki Syndrome.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Its a shame they don't serve booze on local trains...

Move to Connecticut:

Nutmegger bar cars

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
It's only a matter of time.

Save me!

You sholud be lucky you have this board. You can see the progresion of your life as it flashes before your eyes. And you can see the alternative route.

First, if you go the Sequels route, you are Sebby. Guy with is living in his party past while his wife locks his balls down in his Philly future with her plastic surgery cravings. Your balls hang lower while her face grows tighter and her tits firmer. But so long as that ass stays tight, Sebby is safely on his way to

Sidd Finch land. This is where Mrs. Sebby pops out a kid, and Sebby really starts to love the law. The thrill of ranting in the courtroom full of handpicked captives who will believe that he is mainly correct about mostly everything. He learns to love the built in audeince forced to hear the rants as they sit transfixed while dreaming about cheese steaks. In the meantime, he realizes he will never fuck anyone else again and really hones his act on the Mrs in an effort to become the nest GreatFuck. These are the glory days, Coltrane, your late thirties. THey seem far away, but they are not. Relish them because before you know it you are

Bilmore. Reality tv discussions make you bitter that people are wasting their lives and arent kayaking. Lilfe is short as Bilmore knows. Why waste it watching tv? Soon the kids are gone and you are . . . . What happened to him anyway? Is he still with us? Bilmore?

But before you get to depressed about taking the Sequels sleighride, consider the other option

First you are Slave. You didnt get married, and your best companions are the bottle and the mirror. You practice shaving your pubes into dollar signs, but its too hard, so you just shave the whole thing off. WHich feels good, so why not the whole body? It takes an hour every mornig, but so what, your body is all you have if you are in thee Slave Stage. Getting laid is how youare validated. And you gotta go to the gym, a lot, to maintain the physique that must be maintained for the hairless. Or is it the other way around?

But the Slave way is exhausting and soon you are into your next phase, The Less phase. This is basically the same as the slave phase, but its more bottle, and less mirror, unless of course there are coke lines on the mirror. The goal is the same, to get laid. ANd its getting harder to do so. Where did everyone go? Should you get botox also? How big is that porn collection? And why is your only skill saving up your splooge so it shoots really far on your biannual sex sessions? As you can tell from the board, there is no phase after the Less phase. This is you until you die.


Really, its not much better than ABC's reality show Last Best Chance. Hats off to you. Just dont shit in Atticus's bed unless you have a nice set of clean sheets.

[sunnybunny]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
You sholud be lucky you have this board. You can see the progresion of your life as it flashes before your eyes. And you can see the alternative route.

First, if you go the Sequels route, you are Sebby. Guy with is living in his party past while his wife locks his balls down in his Philly future with her plastic surgery cravings. Your balls hang lower while her face grows tighter and her tits firmer. But so long as that ass stays tight, Sebby is safely on his way to

Sidd Finch land. This is where Mrs. Sebby pops out a kid, and Sebby really starts to love the law. The thrill of ranting in the courtroom full of handpicked captives who will believe that he is mainly correct about mostly everything. He learns to love the built in audeince forced to hear the rants as they sit transfixed while dreaming about cheese steaks. In the meantime, he realizes he will never fuck anyone else again and really hones his act on the Mrs in an effort to become the nest GreatFuck. These are the glory days, Coltrane, your late thirties. THey seem far away, but they are not. Relish them because before you know it you are

Bilmore. Reality tv discussions make you bitter that people are wasting their lives and arent kayaking. Lilfe is short as Bilmore knows. Why waste it watching tv? Soon the kids are gone and you are . . . . What happened to him anyway? Is he still with us? Bilmore?

But before you get to depressed about taking the Sequels sleighride, consider the other option

First you are Slave. You didnt get married, and your best companions are the bottle and the mirror. You practice shaving your pubes into dollar signs, but its too hard, so you just shave the whole thing off. WHich feels good, so why not the whole body? It takes an hour every mornig, but so what, your body is all you have if you are in thee Slave Stage. Getting laid is how youare validated. And you gotta go to the gym, a lot, to maintain the physique that must be maintained for the hairless. Or is it the other way around?

But the Slave way is exhausting and soon you are into your next phase, The Less phase. This is basically the same as the slave phase, but its more bottle, and less mirror, unless of course there are coke lines on the mirror. The goal is the same, to get laid. ANd its getting harder to do so. Where did everyone go? Should you get botox also? How big is that porn collection? And why is your only skill saving up your splooge so it shoots really far on your biannual sex sessions? As you can tell from the board, there is no phase after the Less phase. This is you until you die.


Really, its not much better than ABC's reality show Last Best Chance. Hats off to you. Just dont shit in Atticus's bed unless you have a nice set of clean sheets.

Work slow, eh?

[Oliver_Wendell_Ramone]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
You sholud be lucky you have this board. You can see the progresion of your life as it flashes before your eyes. And you can see the alternative route.

First, if you go the Sequels route, you are Sebby. Guy with is living in his party past while his wife locks his balls down in his Philly future with her plastic surgery cravings. Your balls hang lower while her face grows tighter and her tits firmer. But so long as that ass stays tight, Sebby is safely on his way to

Sidd Finch land. This is where Mrs. Sebby pops out a kid, and Sebby really starts to love the law. The thrill of ranting in the courtroom full of handpicked captives who will believe that he is mainly correct about mostly everything. He learns to love the built in audeince forced to hear the rants as they sit transfixed while dreaming about cheese steaks. In the meantime, he realizes he will never fuck anyone else again and really hones his act on the Mrs in an effort to become the nest GreatFuck. These are the glory days, Coltrane, your late thirties. THey seem far away, but they are not. Relish them because before you know it you are

Bilmore. Reality tv discussions make you bitter that people are wasting their lives and arent kayaking. Lilfe is short as Bilmore knows. Why waste it watching tv? Soon the kids are gone and you are . . . . What happened to him anyway? Is he still with us? Bilmore?

But before you get to depressed about taking the Sequels sleighride, consider the other option

First you are Slave. You didnt get married, and your best companions are the bottle and the mirror. You practice shaving your pubes into dollar signs, but its too hard, so you just shave the whole thing off. WHich feels good, so why not the whole body? It takes an hour every mornig, but so what, your body is all you have if you are in thee Slave Stage. Getting laid is how youare validated. And you gotta go to the gym, a lot, to maintain the physique that must be maintained for the hairless. Or is it the other way around?

But the Slave way is exhausting and soon you are into your next phase, The Less phase. This is basically the same as the slave phase, but its more bottle, and less mirror, unless of course there are coke lines on the mirror. The goal is the same, to get laid. ANd its getting harder to do so. Where did everyone go? Should you get botox also? How big is that porn collection? And why is your only skill saving up your splooge so it shoots really far on your biannual sex sessions? As you can tell from the board, there is no phase after the Less phase. This is you until you die.


Really, its not much better than ABC's reality show Last Best Chance. Hats off to you. Just dont shit in Atticus's bed unless you have a nice set of clean sheets.

I don't usually like to quote long passages, but I couldn't cut this up. Paigow, your recent sabbatical served you well. You've emerged recharged. Best post in recent memory. And, as an added bonus, fine fodder for a Thurgreed "translation." Thurgreed, you up for the challenge?

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
You probably like the airline personnel, too. Helsinki Syndrome.

are you going to make me google this? I have no idea what you are talking about.

however, in answer to your question, flight attendants and I get along quite well. I get along swimmingly (at first that said swingingly) with all or most service industry folks. even lawyers. and my rant was actually stored up from not-so-recent history, as I have been fortunate to receive upgrades of late.

in fact, I was mildly surprised last time I was on a plane I was seated in the last row of first class (small plane, no business class) and I noticed that the flight attendant put up a detachable strap (the kind that chains on to both sides of the aisle) between first class and coach, I assume to keep the proles out of our bathroom. This can't be allowed by the FAA can it? I'm sure that the front exit door is the closest for Not Bob and his wife, who are on their annual outing to some Dallas NASCAR event and who lucked their way into bulkhead row seats (more legroom!) in the front of coach because the lady at the ticket counter thought Not Bob was sorta cute. We wouldn't want them to burn up in the wreckage because they couldn't get past the prole-gate would we?

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
are you going to make me google this? I have no idea what you are talking about.

however, in answer to your question, flight attendants and I get along quite well. I get along swimmingly (at first htat said swingingly) with all or most service industry folks. even lawyers. and my rant was actually stored up from not-so-recent history, as I have been fortunate to receive upgrades of late.

in fact, I was mildly surprised last time I was on a plane I was seated in the last row of first class (small plane, no business class) and I noticed that the flight attendant put up a detachable strap (the kind that chains on to both sides of the aisle) between first class and coach, I assume to keep the proles out of our bathroom. This can't be allowed by the FAA can it? I'm sure that the front exit door is the closest for Not Bob and his wife, who are on their annual outing to some Dallas NASCAR event and who lucked their way into bulkhead row seats (more legroom!) in the front of coach because the lady at the ticket counter thought Not Bob was sorta cute. We wouldn't want them to burn up in the wreckage because they couldn't get past the prole-gate would we?

Survival of the fittest, baby. For this reason I, as a fat, should always be given the window seat and never in an exit row.

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
are you going to make me google this? I have no idea what you are talking about.

I'm glad you don't either. I was just wondering if Helsinki syndrome was anything like Stockholm syndrome.

Are there syndromes for all scandinavian capitals? Copenhagen syndrome? what is that?

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by Oliver_Wendell_Ramone
I don't usually like to quote long passages, but I couldn't cut this up. Paigow, your recent sabbatical served you well. You've emerged recharged. Best post in recent memory. And, as an added bonus, fine fodder for a Thurgreed "translation." Thurgreed, you up for the challenge?

I think her post speaks, quite clearly, for itself. No translation required.

TM