It's all about me

[dtb]

Originally posted by bilmore
Or sex, of course. I was amazed to see the male Baggins-kinders and all of their friends glued to the TV for a part of the Olympics a few nights ago. Until I saw those wonderful beach-volleyball uniforms and realized why. Migawd, even I watched TV for a bit at that point.

I ran on a treadmill today at lunch, and in front of me was a TV with the Olympic kayaking slalom competition (does that sound right?). Anyway, it occurred to me that this might present something of a dilemma for our friend bilmore.

I guess this could be phrased another way, viz. WWBD?

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Damn straight. Fuck pies. The most overrated dessert ever. Nothing but filling and crust. A dessert not even lofty enough for prole status. Pie is peasant food. Don't spill any on your Dockers!

Why the fuck is cheesecake called "cheesecake"? It's clearly pie.

[NotFromHere]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
No, I just hate pie. Pie sucks. Down with pie!

Speaking of, has anyone seen Sean Salsbury recently? I think he's gained 50 lbs in the off season. He had a really large jacket on last night, but still you could see the rolls of fat on his "handles."

He'll never make the Neon Deion comeback.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Why the fuck is cheesecake called "cheesecake"? It's clearly pie.

The expletive in this post is simply gratuitous.

[NotFromHere]

Not that any of you care, since no one parties any more, but the top 10 party schools are...
No. 1 party-school: University of N.Y. at Albany
Albany was ranked seventh in the use of hard liquor and marijuana, ninth in beer drinking and first in “students (almost) never study”

Other top 10 party schools were Washington and Lee University, Lexington, Va.;
the University of Wisconsin-Madison;
West Virginia University, Morgantown;
Ohio University, Athens;
Florida State University, Tallahassee;
University of Texas-Austin;
University of Georgia, Athens;
University of Colorado;
University of Mississippi.

Brigham Young University was ranked the top “stone-cold sober” school, the survey found. Massachusetts Institute of Technology was the toughest to get into. The happiest students overall were at Pomona College in Claremont, Calif.

[bilmore]

Originally posted by dtb
I ran on a treadmill today at lunch, and in front of me was a TV with the Olympic kayaking slalom competition (does that sound right?). Anyway, it occurred to me that this might present something of a dilemma for our friend bilmore.

No dilemma there. I would watch you running on the treadmill.

Could you wear one of those beach-volleyball outfits?

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
The expletive in this post is simply gratuitous.

Spoken by a closeted pie lover. So what is it, Hank, what is the pie you secretly crave but are ashamed to admit to the public? Pumpkin? Buttermilk? Personally, I have you pegged to be a Key Lime pie lover, but that may just be your online persona.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Good stuff: http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2...f/040817/part1

My favorite:

As for the "women's" (and I use that word loosely) gymnastics on Sunday night ... I mean, what would possess someone to direct his or her daughter toward the seedy world of competitive gymnastics? Would you ever send your kid to the Karolyi Ranch? After the ongoing Michael Jackson fiasco, isn't it every parent's duty to avoid sending their kids to a place that features someone's last name with the word "Ranch"? Besides, what's the thought process behind pushing your child to such a sport?

My daughter's a little on the small side ... maybe we should push her toward gymnastics. This way, she'll look like a hobbit for the rest of her life; she won't menstruate until she's 25 years-old; she won't be able to eat ... EVER; she'll never meet anyone other than tiny, non-menstruating gymnasts who look just like her; she'll have a decent chance of being socially dysfunctional because she spent 15 hours a day in her formative years with a pommel horse and high bars prominently involved; and as an added bonus, a frightening Romanian will become the dominant father figure in her life. Also, she'll suffer from chronic knee problems for the rest of her life. And we'll make this gamble just in case she defies million-to-one odds and wins a medal some day, which she can hawk off some day to pay her bulimia/anorexia bills as an adult. This sounds fantastic! Sign me up!

Does anyone else feel terrible for these girls? They look so damned tortured, don't they? Like they might start uncontrollably crying at any moment? It's almost like Karolyi tells them before the tournament, "If you don't finish in the top five, I'm making you eat a double cheesburger, and you can't throw it up!" These girls would have a better chance in life if someone had steered them toward porn. Anyway, I vote for the Janet Jones Corollary for all future women's gymnastics events -- unless you're at least 5-foot-3, you have at least a 10 percent body fat, and you're at least a B-cup, you can't be on the team. That would solve everything.

[NotFromHere]

New Survivors announced. There's a one-legged cancer survivor.

Eighteen castaways will compete in separate tribes of men versus women. The participants include an FBI agent, a drill sergeant named Sarge, a Pennsylvania sheep farmer, a man who lost is leg to cancer and a mechanical bull operator from Los Angeles. The oldest competitor is Scout Cloud Lee, a 59-year-old rancher from Oklahoma.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by NotFromHere
New Survivors announced. There's a one-legged cancer survivor.

Wouldn't that be a "one-legged cancer survivor Survivor"?

[NotFromHere]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Wouldn't that be a "one-legged cancer survivor Survivor"?

For some reason it looks more like Gilligan's Island. Maybe it's the hat. And Mary Ann there on the right.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by NotFromHere
For some reason it looks more like Gilligan's Island. Maybe it's the hat. And Mary Ann there on the right.

I thought the same thing. There is probably a hidden cache of coconut cream pie on the island.

[Aloha Mr. Learned Hand]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Wouldn't that be a "one-legged cancer survivor Survivor"?

I was more thinking along the line of Survivor having proven to be an "ass-kicking contest."

Originally posted by Flea Bailey
Yea, and then sprouteth from the barren soil a new life, that of something called the "Str8list", which shall not charge a fee, and for that reason shall replaceth Craig with something as it was in the days of yore.

Or something like that.

No no. THe evil bastard doesnt create things. He just buys up other people's opportunities and jacks up the price like the scum he is.

[NotFromHere]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
I thought the same thing. There is probably a hidden cache of coconut cream pie on the island.

Ty will be happy.