Lamest k race win ever

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally Posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?

Tell them both that they must fight for your love and then swoon when they agree to do so.

This works only if it is coupled with trips home to meet each woman's parents, followed by dream dates to exotic but nearby locations with each, and then a decision upon whom to bestow a final rose because she and she alone is amazing.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski

You're suggesting playing A against B? How about it add's you may be able to be the first guy I know to actually get a blumpkin iypycr.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally Posted by Atticus Grinch

It's conundrums like these that make me long for the days of yore, before I was born, in which nobody owed anybody anything until they were publicly engaged to be married, and when premarital sex was both widespread and illicit so it carried with it the thrill of exploitation and heartache, rather than resentment and girl-talk postmortems about whether a shitbag cheater "owed" you exclusivity due to the depth of your feelings on the matter.

I try to honor these days of yore in my own life by managing not to stick my dick into people, and by imagining that I used to get a lot more action before I was married than I really did.

You are the perfect lady-man. Once you've been with someone for a day, you're completely exclusive and wouldn't mind if your gf told her deepest secrets, thoughts, desires to some other dude who wants to fuck her, as long as she doesn't let him. I gotta admit, I don't understand where you're coming from 80% of the time.

TM

[Adder]

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski

wait, it sounds like you told her about B, right? what did she say?

I did, because as I said last week, she made some weird comments about me not being allowed to kiss any girls in bikinis while out of town last weekend. I wanted to be clear that we certainly were not exclusive at that point and I had this other date coming up.

At the time she said that I should go out with woman B and that she had other dates lined up too. I can't know for sure, but think I know enough about her subsequent schedule to believe she hasn't actually gone on those dates though. And she mentioned yesterday that one of those guys was feeling hurt because she hadn't responded to him, which she blamed on me.

She has said some things indicating that she was feeling a bit competitive about my date with B. I think she was probably hoping that I would have a dating horror story to tell afterward (as we have joked about some of her stories), but it didn't happen that way.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by Adder

I did, because as I said last week, she made some weird comments about me not being allowed to kiss any girls in bikinis while out of town last weekend. I wanted to be clear that we certainly were not exclusive at that point and I had this other date coming up.

At the time she said that I should go out with woman B and that she had other dates lined up too. I can't know for sure, but think I know enough about her subsequent schedule to believe she hasn't actually gone on those dates though. And she mentioned yesterday that one of those guys was feeling hurt because she hadn't responded to him, which she blamed on me.

She has said some things indicating that she was feeling a bit competitive about my date with B. I think she was probably hoping that I would have a dating horror story to tell afterward (as we have joked about some of her stories), but it didn't happen that way.

I assumed as much. then as Thurgreed said you aren't ready to be "exclusive" with A. If A had so blown your brain up that you were wanting that your date with B would have been shortened with the thought that you would be running back to A later that night. (plus I thought the other date was the singularity chick that you fucked just before you moved?)

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally Posted by Atticus Grinch

It's conundrums like these that make me long for the days of yore, before I was born, in which nobody owed anybody anything until they were publicly engaged to be married, and when premarital sex was both widespread and illicit so it carried with it the thrill of exploitation and heartache, rather than resentment and girl-talk postmortems about whether a shitbag cheater "owed" you exclusivity due to the depth of your feelings on the matter.

I try to honor these days of yore in my own life by managing not to stick my dick into people, and by imagining that I used to get a lot more action before I was married than I really did.

I generally long for the days of yore before I was born when the lord of the manor got to do pretty much whatever he felt like with whomever he felt like.

Then I realize that I would have been "whomever" instead of the lord of the manor and stop thinking about the days before I was born.

[Adder]

So, just got an email from woman A apparently "breaking up" with me for failing to come back from the date with woman B and easily choosing her. I guess that simplifies things.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy

I generally long for the days of yore before I was born when the lord of the manor got to do pretty much whatever he felt like with whomever he felt like.

Then I realize that I would have been "whomever" instead of the lord of the manor and stop thinking about the days before I was born.

here's what I'm thinking about- this board used to have at least 2 very beautiful women who were out there single and having encounters from time to time. i think maybe coltrane was working the crowds too? anyway we had the occasional bar pick up fuck story to look forward to. now the only single person is this Adder and it's pathetic.

LawTalkers needs newbers?

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally Posted by Adder

So, just got an email from woman A apparently "breaking up" with me for failing to come back from the date with woman B and easily choosing her. I guess that simplifies things.

Tell her you don't send email breakups and neither should she and invite her by for the ritualistic breakup sex and breakfast instead.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by Adder

So, just got an email from woman A apparently "breaking up" with me for failing to come back from the date with woman B and easily choosing her. I guess that simplifies things.

how many orgasms did she have when you "hooked up?"

if none, then move on- if any?

remember the movie about the Cuban missile crisis where Kennedy ignored a harsh letter from the USSR and simply replied to an earlier position? Ask A out for tomorrow and tell her you really like and want to get to know her better over the next weeks, tell her the truth, that you are monogamous usually, (don't tell her the real truth, that you're lonely usually), and just state the obvious- you've just started seeing each other and you just moved to Minn and she should give you some time- that will buy you a month or two.

[barely_legal]

Originally Posted by Adder

So, just got an email from woman A apparently "breaking up" with me for failing to come back from the date with woman B and easily choosing her. I guess that simplifies things.

I'm a little confused. Did you have sex with Woman A or just make out with her? If you just made out with her, then she shouldn't even be bringing up the topic of you dating (or kissing) other woman and the fact that she did is a red flag. If you guys had sex after a few dates, even though it's only been a week, I think the adult thing to do after (or before) the sex would have been to have a conversation about exclusivity. It's not like you met her in a bar and went home and had sex. People who are online dating are, unless they specify otherwise, usually looking for dates that will lead to exclusive relationships. Anyway, I did online dating on and off for 4 years, and eventually met my husband on Match, so this is based on my experience and YMMV of course.

Either way, I don't blame her for not wanting to be with you if you could hook up with her one day, have a date with Woman B a few days later, and still want to see Woman B again. It may be stupid, but I wouldn't want to be with somebody who had a difficult time choosing between me and someone else.

[Adder]

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski

how many orgasms did she have when you "hooked up?"

What kind of man would I be if I said zero on an "anonymous" internet chat board?

Ask A out for tomorrow

The email was also cancelling the already scheduled date for tonight.

and tell her you really like and want to get to know her better over the next weeks, tell her the truth, that you are monogamous usually, (don't tell her the real truth, that you're lonely usually), and just state the obvious- you've just started seeing each other and you just moved to Minn and she should give you some time- that will buy you a month or two.

I said most of that already.

[Adder]

Originally Posted by barely_legal

Did you have sex with Woman A or just make out with her?

The former.

If you just made out with her, then she shouldn't even be bringing up the topic of you dating (or kissing) other woman and the fact that she did is a red flag.

Had only made out at the time of the kissing comment, and yeah, it was noted as a definite red flag. Which is why I brought up woman B, which she handled well enough to lower the alarm.

After that followed the sex and the previously-scheduled (as in last week) date with woman B.

If you guys had sex after a few dates, even though it's only been a week, I think the adult thing to do after (or before) the sex would have been to have a conversation about exclusivity.

Rather than the concept, we specifically discussed the date with woman B. But before the email, my thinking was that this is the conversation that woman A and I need to have.

People who are online dating are, unless they specify otherwise, usually looking for dates that will lead to exclusive relationships.

Right, and I am too. I just never expected things with woman A to move so quickly, and, of course, I didn't entirely realize that she didn't mean the things she actually said (or she realized later she felt differently).

It may be stupid, but I wouldn't want to be with somebody who had a difficult time choosing between me and someone else.

That seems to be the disconnect.

[barely_legal]

Originally Posted by Adder

The former.



Had only made out at the time of the kissing comment, and yeah, it was noted as a definite red flag. Which is why I brought up woman B, which she handled well enough to lower the alarm.

After that followed the sex and the previously-scheduled (as in last week) date with woman B.



Rather than the concept, we specifically discussed the date with woman B. But before the email, my thinking was that this is the conversation that woman A and I need to have.



Right, and I am too. I just never expected things with woman A to move so quickly, and, of course, I didn't entirely realize that she didn't mean the things she actually said (or she realized later she felt differently).



That seems to be the disconnect.

It's really not surprising that she would have a different view of your relationship after the sex than she had before the sex. While it may not be justified, it's typical and you should have realized that. And now I really don't blame her for not wanting to go out with you again. You just had sex with her, and instead of being excited about where your "relationship" with her might go from there, you are focusing your energy on meeting other women and probably trying to have sex with them. While this doesn't automatically make you an asshole, or even unusual, it would make you somebody I wouldn't want to see again if I were her.

I think you should just apologize to her for the misunderstanding and then don't contact her again. And next time move more slowly unless you're sure the online date you are about to have sex with is ok with you having sex with her while dating and having sex with other people. There are plenty of girls online who wouldn't give a shit about that (and I was one of those girls for part of the time I was online dating) but you can't tell if you're dating one of those girls unless you ask.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by barely_legal

It's really not surprising that she would have a different view of your relationship after the sex than she had before the sex. While it may not be justified, it's typical and you should have realized that. And now I really don't blame her for not wanting to go out with you again. You just had sex with her, and instead of being excited about where your "relationship" with her might go from there, you are focusing your energy on meeting other women and probably trying to have sex with them. While this doesn't automatically make you an asshole, or even unusual, it would make you somebody I wouldn't want to see again if I were her.

I think you should just apologize to her for the misunderstanding and then don't contact her again. And next time move more slowly unless you're sure the online date you are about to have sex with is ok with you having sex with her while dating and having sex with other people. There are plenty of girls online who wouldn't give a shit about that (and I was one of those girls for part of the time I was online dating) but you can't tell if you're dating one of those girls unless you ask.

whooooa, the guy is screwed up enough as it is- he didn't do anything wrong. you're going to make him ever more cautious than he is.

He went out with A once, and told her that he had a date scheduled with B (Adder answer my question- is B the woman from DC). then, before the date with B, A scheduled another date and they had sex.

Adder did what wrong?

he wasn't so starry eyed as to lie to himself or A that he didn't like B? I get that a may have been hoping that the sex would cause Adder to cancel the date with B, or to not really give B a chance, but that didn't happen. That was A's gamble wasn't it? If she felt that strongly she should have told adder she didn't want him to go on the date. But all Adder did is what he told her was going to do-