A Friendly Correction for those Man-Haters who Delve to be Single

[Icky Thump]

that over the past two months I have learned 11 new ways that a paralegal can fuck up a one sentence letter.

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally Posted by Icky Thump

that over the past two months I have learned 11 new ways that a paralegal can fuck up a one sentence letter.

That's nothing. I recently had a senior associate foisted on me who seems fully capable of that level and frequency of fuck-ups. He somehow found an area of law where an inattentive monkey could keep busy and not have serious ramifications to his screw ups, and now seems shocked he's suddenly being asked to think instead of pull forms and fill in blanks. Can I trade him for your paralegal?

[Icky Thump]

Originally Posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy

That's nothing. I recently had a senior associate foisted on me who seems fully capable of that level and frequency of fuck-ups. He somehow found an area of law where an inattentive monkey could keep busy and not have serious ramifications to his screw ups, and now seems shocked he's suddenly being asked to think instead of pull forms and fill in blanks. Can I trade him for your paralegal?

Does em know how to send a fax to a judge making sure to attach the letter (that I drafted, printed and signed and fucking handed to 'em saying "fax this to this number") to the cover page?

Does em know how to take my one sentence email, highlight the sentence, copy and paste to a fax without changing the date to some arbitrary fucking date that em thinks would be better for everyone?

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally Posted by Icky Thump

Does em know how to send a fax to a judge making sure to attach the letter (that I drafted, printed and signed and fucking handed to 'em saying "fax this to this number") to the cover page?

Does em know how to take my one sentence email, highlight the sentence, copy and paste to a fax without changing the date to some arbitrary fucking date that em thinks would be better for everyone?

Perhaps your tendency to answer a question with a series of rhetorical questions is confusing to your paralegal?

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by Atticus Grinch

Perhaps your tendency to answer a question with a series of rhetorical questions is confusing to your paralegal?

I was thinking he writes a fuck-ton of one sentence letters, then I remembered it's a contingency practice.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski

I was thinking he writes a fuck-ton of one sentence letters, then I remembered it's a contingency practice.

Seriously. How many different ways to write “I am in receipt of your discovery responses, which are bullshit and shall be supplemented immediately lest you feel the sting of my motion to compel”?

[Icky Thump]

Originally Posted by Atticus Grinch

Seriously. How many different ways to write “I am in receipt of your discovery responses, which are bullshit and shall be supplemented immediately lest you feel the sting of my motion to compel”?

Homey don't play that. That's for pussies. Icky just makes the motion. My trademark is "Don't threaten. Do."

This is stuff that I can't address by email.

The deposition scheduled for December 29 has been adjourned.

Enclosed is the check.

Your Honor may I please reschedule the McGillicutty conference?

[Adder]

Originally Posted by Atticus Grinch

Seriously. How many different ways to write “I am in receipt of your discovery responses, which are bullshit and shall be supplemented immediately lest you feel the sting of my motion to compel”?

There are probably even some that make use of active verbs.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally Posted by Icky Thump

Homey don't play that. That's for pussies. Icky just makes the motion. My trademark is "Don't threaten. Do."

I’ve only ever practiced in jurisdictions with a meet-and-confer requirement before a discovery motion may be filed, which some counsel seem to regard as a “threaten once” obligation. The law makes pussies of us all.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by Icky Thump

Homey don't play that. That's for pussies. Icky just makes the motion. My trademark is "Don't threaten. Do."

This is stuff that I can't address by email.

The deposition scheduled for December 29 has been adjourned.

Enclosed is the check.

Your Honor may I please reschedule the McGillicutty conference?

Judge Rosen, EDMi, has a rule, if you are going to file a discovery motion you must file it within 2 weeks of when you learn of the alleged deficiency. Really makes you make a choice and move on.

[Icky Thump]

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski

Judge Rosen, EDMi, has a rule, if you are going to file a discovery motion you must file it within 2 weeks of when you learn of the alleged deficiency. Really makes you make a choice and move on.

OK, I will remember that for when I never file a case in Michigan. Damages caps remember?

[Sidd Finch]

Originally Posted by Atticus Grinch

Perhaps your tendency to answer a question with a series of rhetorical questions is confusing to your paralegal?

You think?

[Icky Thump]

the airlines will never let it happen:

http://www.newyorker.com/business/cu...-you-to-suffer

Executive summary:

They make a lot of money from charging you extra for basic shit like leg room, room to put your bag, food, a reasonable line.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by Icky Thump

the airlines will never let it happen:

http://www.newyorker.com/business/cu...-you-to-suffer

Executive summary:

They make a lot of money from charging you extra for basic shit like leg room, room to put your bag, food, a reasonable line.

No, but this does show why you can't be trusted with identifying a good idea. T's idea is not limited to everyone getting the same amount of space. You damn well better believe I"m getting extra in first. And the airlines could up charge for a bigger cubby in coach. The only secret is you have only your assigned space to use.

[Icky Thump]

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski

No, but this does show why you can't be trusted with identifying a good idea. . . . The only secret is you have only your assigned space to use.

Sorry Charlie, you missed it. The whole reason the airlines can charge you more to board earlier is the LACK OF assigned space. The fear that some other dick in Group 1 has taken your luggage space is pretty much THE ONLY incentive to pay to board earlier than the Group 8 you paid for.

If you have your own reserved luggage space (like your own reserved seat) you wouldn't give two shits if you were the last guy on the plane.

If I am doing a there and back in a day, I don't care if I am the last guy on the plane.