A Friendly Correction for those Man-Haters who Delve to be Single

[taxwonk]

Originally Posted by Sidd Finch

Jack and vomiting make me feel 16 all over again.


eta: And having read Wonk's response to your post, the vomiting is about to start.

And you, be careful. I still have the tapes.

[taxwonk]

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski

Conf to Wonk: don't despair. I'm thinking if you do something like this guy http://www.npr.org/blogs/parallels/2...ntent=20150102 the chicks might find you more appealing.

I have the red suit.

[Adder]

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski

The Delta Sky Club stopped offering Dewar's and started carrying something called Scorsby's. Why not worry about me, that's my lifetime membership that they fucked right there?

They replaced something undrinkable with something unknown? Oh noes.

[Adder]

Originally Posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?

I actually think it tastes pretty terrible. And I regularly drink Buffalo Trace, Elijah Craig, etc, i.e., I'm not a bourbon snob.

I'm confused as to why you think those make you not a bourbon snob.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by Adder

They replaced something undrinkable with something unknown? Oh noes.

I'm going to say something: you all said you wouldn't fuck Sarah Jessica Parker, and now you all say you can't drink Dewar's- any of you would fuck SJP, but she wouldn't fuck any of you, and Dewar's may be something I wouldn't order (like if I could pick an actress to fuck I'd pick Halle, not SJP) but I would drink it if the best option. Geezz. keep it real (hi flower!).

[taxwonk]

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski

I'm going to say something: you all said you wouldn't fuck Sarah Jessica Parker, and now you all say you can't drink Dewar's- any of you would fuck SJP, but she wouldn't fuck any of you, and Dewar's may be something I wouldn't order (like if I could pick an actress to fuck I'd pick Halle, not SJP) but I would drink it if the best option. Geezz. keep it real (hi flower!).

Hence the beauty of the bloody mary. It matters not how shitty the vodka is. As long as it won't make you go blind, you're going to be alright.

[Icky Thump]

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski

I'm going to say something: you all said you wouldn't fuck Sarah Jessica Parker, and now you all say you can't drink Dewar's- any of you would fuck SJP, but she wouldn't fuck any of you, and Dewar's may be something I wouldn't order (like if I could pick an actress to fuck I'd pick Halle, not SJP) but I would drink it if the best option. Geezz. keep it real (hi flower!).

Dewar's isn't Sarah Jessica Parker, Dewar's is fucking Mr. Garrison's corpse.

[Adder]

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski

I'm going to say something: you all said you wouldn't fuck Sarah Jessica Parker, and now you all say you can't drink Dewar's- any of you would fuck SJP, but she wouldn't fuck any of you, and Dewar's may be something I wouldn't order (like if I could pick an actress to fuck I'd pick Halle, not SJP) but I would drink it if the best option. Geezz. keep it real (hi flower!).

I never said that.

Given The choice of dewars or jack, I'd order jack and a mixer.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally Posted by Adder

Given The choice of dewars or jack, I'd order jack and a mixer.

See, I would pick the blended scotch, on the thinking that a guy who knows a fucking lot more about booze flavor than I had a crack at mixing everything together until it tasted as good as possible.

But as we know, I have an irrational and borderline superstitious trust that faceless institutions will optimize for things when the incentives are in place.

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski

I'm going to say something: you all said you wouldn't fuck Sarah Jessica Parker, and now you all say you can't drink Dewar's- any of you would fuck SJP, but she wouldn't fuck any of you, and Dewar's may be something I wouldn't order (like if I could pick an actress to fuck I'd pick Halle, not SJP) but I would drink it if the best option. Geezz. keep it real (hi flower!).

If I drank everything anyone put in front of me, my liver would be pate at this point, and most of what I'd have drunk would have killed my taste for the good stuff. Sometimes, the better choice is to pass on any drink at all and save yourself for when the Ch. Musar or Yamazaki comes around, recognizing that neither comes around every day.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally Posted by Not Bob

I drink Jack on JetBlue flights, at events where Jack is the Not Scotch available at the open or cash bar, and at the home of an elderly relative who marks 5 o'clock with a tall Jack 'n Ginger. I'm not saying that I order it when I have the option of picking Makers, Woodford, Knob, et al. (or any Irish that's been legally imported), but it's a perfectly respectable back-up.

2. I'm not a huge fan of Jack, but among the commercial omnipresent brands, it's top tier.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally Posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy

If I drank everything anyone put in front of me, my liver would be pate at this point, and most of what I'd have drunk would have killed my taste for the good stuff. Sometimes, the better choice is to pass on any drink at all and save yourself for when the Ch. Musar or Yamazaki comes around, recognizing that neither comes around every day.

The Yamazaki is tasty, but unless my tongue is off (which is entirely possible), there's a blunt sweetness to their whiskeys one doesn't find in true scotch. It's almost more akin to an Irish whiskey, and Irish whiskey, though it has its place, is no scotch.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally Posted by bold_n_brazen

Jack and Ginger makes me feel 20 all over again.

Jim Beam and ginger ale was my grandfather's drink. Drinking one would make me feel 93.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally Posted by Atticus Grinch

See, I would pick the blended scotch, on the thinking that a guy who knows a fucking lot more about booze flavor than I had a crack at mixing everything together until it tasted as good as possible.

But as we know, I have an irrational and borderline superstitious trust that faceless institutions will optimize for things when the incentives are in place.

I love it when you talk like an antitrust lawyer.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski

I'm going to say something: you all said you wouldn't fuck Sarah Jessica Parker, and now you all say you can't drink Dewar's- any of you would fuck SJP, but she wouldn't fuck any of you, and Dewar's may be something I wouldn't order (like if I could pick an actress to fuck I'd pick Halle, not SJP) but I would drink it if the best option. Geezz. keep it real (hi flower!).

I'd fuck SJP just to check the box (I mean, hell... if it's offered, you have to). And she'd fuck more of us than you think, considering her husband prefers the company of men.

Halle wouldn't give any of us a passing pat on the shoulder.

Among the browns you'll find on the plane, the Woodford > Jack > Dewars situation isn't marry/fuck/kill. It's more like, Yes!/Okay.../Clothespin-on-nose.