It's all about me

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by Paddle Mybuttocks
That is sad. My condolences to Hank on the loss of his mom but on the bright side I hear there is an unlimited all day every day all you can eat buffet in heaven. Like Ponderosa except no charge.

Much as RT is not supposed to post about really hot guys in the morning, you need a different moniker if you are going to post in the morning. "Paddle My Buttocks" is too lust-inducing.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by Jack Manfred

For East Coast music fans, AC Newman (Carl from the official band of the FB, The New Pornographers) will be playing in New York tonight, Philly on Friday, D.C. on Saturday, and Austin next Wednesday with fledgling indie darlings Rogue Wave.

Buddy saw him in Chicago and said that he has a very audible lisp (NTTAWWT) that is not recognizable in the New Pornographers. Actually, maybe there is something wrong with it -- he said it was highly distracting.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Along similar lines, the cleaners just lost the pants to a suit that I have worn exactly once. Is it possible to get replacement pants for a suit?

The cleaners lost them? A likely excuse.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
The cleaners lost them? A likely excuse.

He obviously wasn't wearing his Oops I Crapped My Pants diaper.

[Paddle Mybuttocks]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
He obviously wasn't wearing his Oops I Crapped My Pants diaper.

The better to spank his asski!

eta: shit! wrong sock.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by Paddle Mybuttocks
The better to spank his asski!

eta: shit! wrong sock.

Just don't miss the nuts for the tree!

Nuts!

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
He obviously wasn't wearing his Oops I Crapped My Pants diaper.

I don't even want to know what it is that inspired you to go in that direction with the joke.

[Gattigap]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
"Destruction"?

OK. "Controversy." What, there's no room for metaphor?

I offer a truce.

Deal.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
I don't even want to know what it is that inspired you to go in that direction with the joke.

Inspiration from SNL:

[Open - porch of nice home, looking out on yard.]
[Two grandparents sit with grandchild, as parents approach in tennis uniforms]
Ana: Hey, Mom what do you say to a game of tennis?
Grandchild: Come on grandma, with you on our side, the boys don't stand a chance!
Grandma: Ok, I'll get my racket
[grandma rises from site but changes her mind, looking concerned]
Grandma: On second thought, I think I better sit this one out.
[grandma upset, looks up at grandpa]
Grandpa: You kids go ahead, I wanna have a talk with your old grandma.

[kids, parent leave; grandpa sits down]
Grandpa: You're still having control problems, aren't you?
Grandma: I just don't feel confident Harvey.
Grandpa: Come with me. I wanna let you in on a little secret.
[grandpa takes grandma's hand and they leave porch]

[grandpa opens cabinet and takes out adult diapers]
Grandpa: Here we are oops I crapped my pants.
Grandma: Oops I crapped my pants, I've heard of those. Do they work?
Grandpa: Oops I crapped my pants out performed every bladder and bowel control product on the market today. Here, I'll show you.
[grandma holds open diaper, grandpa holds pitcher]
Grandpa: Imagine this pitcher of tea is really a gallon of your feces.
[grandpa pours pitcher of tea with lemons into diaper]
Grandpa: See how its super thick protection allows for maximum absorbency without leaking.
Grandma: I'm impressed. Oops I crapped my pants can hold a lot of dung.
Grandpa: And get this, Oops I crapped my pants are biodegradable. Now that's good for the environment.
Grandma: Hey, how do you know so much about Oops I crapped my pants?
Grandpa: Well I'm wearing them, and I just did.
[grandpa and grandma smile at each other]
[tennis courts, grandpa and grandma playing tennis with children]
Grandchild: Nice point Grandma!
[Grandma turns to and addresses camera]
Grandma: Thanks Oops I crapped my pants!

Voice over: Visit your local pharmacy and just say Oops I crapped my pants.

[Grandpa hugs grandma, kisses her on the head. They walk away happy]
[They turn to walk away and their tennis shorts are bulging...]

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Inspiration from SNL:

I am familiar with the sketch. That was not my point.

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Inspiration from SNL:
[oops I crapped my pants skit]

right. you successfully turned the joke from sexual innuendo to pants crapping. I think you ruined rp's morning.

[Gattigap]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
This is the second time I've seen some witless punk threaten to bring Thurgreed in to fight his fight.

OK, Hercules. This particular cage match is over. If you want to stop hanging on the outside of the Thunderdome itching to get into this fight, let's take it back to Politics, where it started.

You get the official "Bush #1!" Foam Finger from last week's Republicans-only rally in Dubuke, Iowa. I get the replica bowie knife used by Kerry in the Mekong Delta where, as you've once posted, Kerry committed war crimes.

I like my chances.

[dtb]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
I don't even want to know what it is that inspired you to go in that direction with the joke.

Never mind.

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally posted by Gattigap

Sebastion: I offer a truce.

Gattigap: Deal.

Oh, thank god. I guess I did not realize until just now the amount of anxiety this dispute was causing me. I felt like a little kid sitting at the top of the stairs while my parents were in a bitter screaming fight downstairs. I feel like I can finally exhale.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Inspiration from SNL:

That would be the source, not the inspiration.

If it were atticus, we could understand . . .

Are you a twosies fan too?