A sad, constant bid for attention - Page 286

Hank Chinaski · 10-13-2006, 04:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
It became mine when I turned 21 - 12 years ago - though I didn't know this until today. I don't really care about the policy or the money but I am VERY HURT that contact was made with me solely to ask me for money and that an attempt to cash in a policy that was supposed to be in case I DIE was made. So, should I die, they will leave me to rot in my office? Throw some potpurri under the door to absorb the smell of rot?

not to be contrary, but by the time my kids turn 30 they better be mailing me $5000 a month w/o me having to ask. I didn't do that for my dad, and now I regret it

taxwonk · 10-13-2006, 04:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
I have nothing, absolutely nothing, to contribute today.

Other than the fact that I hate having a cold. The partner that I work for smokes like a chimney and not just cigarettes (wink), drinks like a fish and rarely, if ever, goes to the gym. I don't drink, don't smoke habitually, go to the gym almost every fucking day. Plus I eat very healthfully. I get a cold at least once a year. He never ever gets sick. Ever. Plus he spends half his life in an airplane.

I guess I got sick more often when I didn't lead such a healthy lifestyle, but really. I hate having a cold. Hate it. hate it. hate it. hate it. And now I am mad at people with apparently incredible immune systems.

See. Nothing to contribute. Sorry, Ollie.

This is my last day on this stupid temp job. They think I'm going to finisha project before I leave. They are wrong. I have very little to contribute, either at work or on the board. My mind is clearly elsewhere, even more so than usual.

Did you just call me Coltrane? · 10-13-2006, 04:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
You owe us another contribution.

Did you just call me Coltrane? · 10-13-2006, 04:21 PM

Link that doesn't fuck up pages like the picture did.

Edited by RT

robustpuppy · 10-13-2006, 04:25 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by nononono
"un-hoping"

This is a very good way to put it. As much as you would expect a parent to be there for a child in a time of shared grief, grief just further fucks up those people who are already dysfunctional.

It's obvious that ABBA's dad doesn't have a clue that as the child, ABBA may need emotional support from him as her father. The fact that he asked for something from her the way that he did just demonstrates that he has no coping skills to spare. It's the opposite of one would hope for or expect of a parent, but far from being a source of comfort to her, he is instead a source of further pain and anger. The only way to deal with this is not to expect anything from him, especially not when his grief is still new.

I agree with the suggestion to give him some money, clearly tell him that you were very hurt by the way he asked for it and the fact that he has not been there for you otherwise, and then cut off contact until you've had time to cope with your anger and you are able to live with the fact that you may never get an acknowledgement from him that he hurt you. That is, don't talk to him or see him until you stop hoping that this time, he will apologize or acknowledge your pain.

I'm sorry for your loss, ABBA.

Greedy,Greedy,Greedy · 10-13-2006, 04:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
It became mine when I turned 21 - 12 years ago - though I didn't know this until today. I don't really care about the policy or the money but I am VERY HURT that contact was made with me solely to ask me for money and that an attempt to cash in a policy that was supposed to be in case I DIE was made. So, should I die, they will leave me to rot in my office? Throw some potpurri under the door to absorb the smell of rot?

Leave instructions to post here if you die. We'll not only call the coronor and the religious of your choice for you and send some flowers, we'll also toast you repeatedly! Maybe read some of your finest posts while we drink.

Greedy,Greedy,Greedy · 10-13-2006, 04:31 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by robustpuppy
This is a very good way to put it. As much as you would expect a parent to be there for a child in a time of shared grief, grief just further fucks up those people who are already dysfunctional.

It's obvious that ABBA's dad doesn't have a clue that as the child, ABBA may need emotional support from him as her father. The fact that he asked for something from her the way that he did just demonstrates that he has no coping skills to spare. It's the opposite of one would hope for or expect of a parent, but far from being a source of comfort to her, he is instead a source of further pain and anger. The only way to deal with this is not to expect anything from him, especially not when his grief is still new.

I agree with the suggestion to give him some money, clearly tell him that you were very hurt by the way he asked for it and the fact that he has not been there for you otherwise, and then cut off contact until you've had time to cope with your anger and you are able to live with the fact that you may never get an acknowledgement from him that he hurt you. That is, don't talk to him or see him until you stop hoping that this time, he will apologize or acknowledge your pain.

I'm sorry for your loss, ABBA.

I wouldn't give him money -- if there are funeral expenses that you decide to cover, either out of the policy or on your own, pay the bills directly with a cold shoulder to him. If you write him the check, you'll have a variation on this exchange every couple of years. But I'm projecting here, so take the advice with a grain of salt.

ThurgreedMarshall · 10-13-2006, 04:34 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Including answering my Narnia question. Will you answer it on Monday? Enjoy the show.

Screw Narnia. Let's talk Project Runway.

SPOILER

So, what do you think? Did Jeffrey cheat? Will he be sent home and then cry like a little bitch (and that seems to be what happens unless the teaser is just completely ridiculous -- those didn't look like tears of joy or relief)?

I have to say, I hate Laura with the fire of one thousand angry suns, but I give her credit for calling him out. I would have been more impressed if she had said something to his face first instead of after informing the Gunn, but good for her. I wonder if he just used stuff he created before the show started. It would be fucked up if he got the boot and he did all that work himself.

I was disappointed with what little I saw of Michael's collection. I'm sure he'll win though, because that's how reality tv works. You've already crossed him off your list of possible winners because what you've seen looks tacky and then, BAM, they hit you with his good stuff.

I hate to say it, but Laura's stuff looks the most accomplished, well-made and (damn it) pretty. But even though her kid offering the Gunn turtle poop made me like her a little more, she's too rich to win. I hope she goes down in flames.

TM

J. Fred Muggs · 10-13-2006, 04:35 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
Imagine the following scenario:

Your younger sister dies tragically. Your father, three months later, says he wants to take you for lunch - you rarely speak with him so this is odd, but you think, perhaps he is "trying." At lunch he informs you that when you were 10 he took out a life insurance policy on you and your sisters, with a $10K payout each, and that he tried to cash in the policy he took out on you to pay for the overage of your sister's funeral and headstone, etc. but that the policy became YOUR policy when you turned 21 so he couldn't. Then he asks you for a couple grand and/or to cash in your life insurance policy.

Is it acceptable to tell him to go to hell? To not pass go? To not collect $200 (or the proceeds of MY life insurance policy)?

Why is the 10k payable on the death of the younger sister not enough to cover the funeral?

ABBAKiss · 10-13-2006, 04:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by J. Fred Muggs
Why is the 10k payable on the death of the younger sister not enough to cover the funeral?

I honestly don't know. I haven't seen any of the bills. I do know that the cost of the casket, funeral home, burial, and headstone is significant though. Probably is over $10K - how much over I don't know. There are other issues involved here though - she had a baby two days before she died and there were lots of medical costs and I do not believe my sister (or her baby) had insurance unless the state stepped up so who knows what all bills are floating around.

Greedy,Greedy,Greedy · 10-13-2006, 04:39 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Thanks! Did Aslan know that the witch was about to kill him or was it just fortuitous timing? The creatures were sent as soon as Aslan met up with the other kids?

Whether or not you believe Aslan is omniscient is a personal thing. I suspect he knew and that this was meant to be. But the creatures were sent right after Aslan met up with the other kids, and a couple of the witches spies came upon them and were caught - they followed a wolf/spy back to the witch to find him.

I can also do the Voyage of the Dawn Treader if you like.

ThurgreedMarshall · 10-13-2006, 04:40 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
Imagine the following scenario:

Your younger sister dies tragically. Your father, three months later, says he wants to take you for lunch - you rarely speak with him so this is odd, but you think, perhaps he is "trying." At lunch he informs you that when you were 10 he took out a life insurance policy on you and your sisters, with a $10K payout each, and that he tried to cash in the policy he took out on you to pay for the overage of your sister's funeral and headstone, etc. but that the policy became YOUR policy when you turned 21 so he couldn't. Then he asks you for a couple grand and/or to cash in your life insurance policy.

Is it acceptable to tell him to go to hell? To not pass go? To not collect $200 (or the proceeds of MY life insurance policy)?

Does he (and by "he," I mean your family that is paying the funeral costs) need the money or did he just already have his mind set on not spending it and now blames you because you are over 21?

TM

ABBAKiss · 10-13-2006, 04:41 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Does he (and by "he," I mean your family that is paying the funeral costs) need the money or did he just already have his mind set on not spending it and now blames you because you are over 21?

TM

I'm not sure I follow but I don't have any idea what is going through his head. I am still shocked by how things played out over lunch.

Oliver_Wendell_Ramone · 10-13-2006, 04:42 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
I honestly don't know. I haven't seen any of the bills. I do know that the cost of the casket, funeral home, burial, and headstone is significant though. Probably is over $10K - how much over I don't know. There are other issues involved here though - she had a baby two days before she died and there were lots of medical costs and I do not believe my sister (or her baby) had insurance unless the state stepped up so who knows what all bills are floating around.

1. Terribly sorry for your loss. And the rest of the fucked up situation. Really.

2. That said, this is the most depressing Friday thread ever. Haven't you banged anybody on the piano bench lately? Made out inappropriately and drunkenly at a firm function? Had a gay man go down on you in a taxi?

ltl/fb · 10-13-2006, 04:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Oliver_Wendell_Ramone
1. Terribly sorry for your loss. And the rest of the fucked up situation. Really.

2. That said, this is the most depressing Friday thread ever. Haven't you banged anybody on the piano bench lately? Made out inappropriately and drunkenly at a firm function? Had a gay man go down on you in a taxi?

Does anyone know if there are red-eyes that go directly from, say, Boston to LA?