Toronto Trim's Hotel Cum Drop-in Centre - Page 324

Hank Chinaski · 07-06-2005, 10:53 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
You run the cost/benefit. My heart's breaking... is there any romance left?

I watched The Life Aquatic last night. Its Wes Anderson's most disjointed movie yet. Rambling and pointless, but nevertheless funny and engaging. The guy creates such a great counter-reality. But by far, the greatest thing about the flick is his use of those old Bowie tunes. I forgot what awesome songs Queen Bitch and Life on Mars were. I bought all the old Bowie shit on Itunes last night and can't stop listening to it. So unbelieveable. How does he get eclipsed by people like Elton John? Bowie could outwrite Elton and Bernie Taupin any day of the week. And he can sing better than 90% of rock stars.

2. The Brazilian (Portugese?) guy alone was worth the ticket/rental fee. Plus a little gratuitous nudity is always a good plot point.

ThurgreedMarshall · 07-06-2005, 10:57 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by cuckold
Wow. Everyone's responses have been great. I actually appreciate SD's advice, although I'm not ready to follow it yet. The idea about emptying the bank accounts is a wise one, at least in part. Long ago I had a joint account with a girlfriend. Day before she broke up with me she took out $5k, leaving me with about $200 to live on for the summer before the bar.

Okay, details, as several asked for: we have young kids and it would pretty much kill me not to see them every day, but on the other hand I'm a GA and taking full time care of them alone would be very, very difficult. Before I found out about the affair, we were having some problems but I was definitely trying to work them out. Now, I'm not so sure. Based on knowing the guy and what I read, I think the level of emotional involvement is somewhere in the middle for her: it's definitely not a one night stand, but I don't think either of them are looking for a permenant hookup (although I could see them occassionally sleeping together for years, if the occassion arose). Several of the e-mails from "Bill" were suggesting three ways with various other women, to which my wife seemed at least somewhat receptive.

I'm still working through this, but right now I'm leaning toward not being okay with this. If it were a one night thing, a fling on a business trip, a hooking up with an old boyfriend just for a weekend, I'd get over it. But I don't think that's the case, even if it isn't a long-term thing either.

I suppose my biggest issue is whether I confront her or not. I could just leave and not say why.

If I were you, the first thing I would say to her, whether or not I was going to stay, would be, "If you wanted a threesome, why didn't you just ask me, you idiot?"

Good luck, man. And I hope you have plans to beat Bill's ass. I know violence supposedly never solved anything, but I bet it would make you feel a little better.

TM

Shape Shifter · 07-06-2005, 10:58 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Biggest mistake you can ever make is to litigate half way. You know this. A client who files a suit and then isn't prepared to run it all the way to the bloody end will never get the proper result. You either do it or you don't.

But then, I litigated business disputes. I know nothing about how one strategizes a divorce action. My pro bono custody case years ago was very fulfilling, but taught me to never get near family court again for as long as I live.

Divorce lawyers have every incentive to maximize their billings. Fully litigating divorce and custody issues tends to benefit nobody except the attorneys. I know people who have litigated custody issues to death only to end up with the standard custody arrangement and $60k in legal bills. There are cheaper ways to get revenge.

sebastian_dangerfield · 07-06-2005, 11:03 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
2. The Brazilian (Portugese?) guy alone was worth the ticket/rental fee. Plus a little gratuitous nudity is always a good plot point.

Stop editing that post and go google the guy to find out whether he's Portugese or Brazilian.

ThurgreedMarshall · 07-06-2005, 11:11 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
Women want to have sex with men they fall in love with.

TM

Shape Shifter · 07-06-2005, 11:15 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Good luck, man. And I hope you have plans to beat Bill's ass. I know violence supposedly never solved anything, but I bet it would make you feel a little better.

TM

I hope this is hyperbole. Violence in this situation will likely lead to jail time, probation, bar license complications and, as Not Bob pointed out, not seeing the kids for a long time, followed by a period of only supervised visitation. There are cheaper ways to get revenge.

ThurgreedMarshall · 07-06-2005, 11:19 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by cuckold
No argument here. I'm sure as hell not proud of it.

Fuck. That. Don't be apologetic to anyone. Your wife is cheating or wants to. You found out. I'm sure there was something in the original email that didn't feel right to you and if there wasn't, so what? You are right, she is wrong.* Period.

TM

*Unless of course there's a bunch of shit you did wrong that you're leaving out, but you seem pretty straight up to me.

Hank Chinaski · 07-06-2005, 11:20 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Stop editing that post and go google the guy to find out whether he's Portugese or Brazilian.

Who cares which. All them Spanish singers put together don't sell shit.

sebastian_dangerfield · 07-06-2005, 11:22 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
Who cares which. All them Spanish singers put together don't sell shit.

I don't. You brought it up, numbnuts.

sebastian_dangerfield · 07-06-2005, 11:23 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
I hope this is hyperbole. Violence in this situation will likely lead to jail time, probation, bar license complications and, as Not Bob pointed out, not seeing the kids for a long time, followed by a period of only supervised visitation. There are cheaper ways to get revenge.

Whew. Thank goodness you posted something to bring Cuckold to his senses. I just hope he hasn't already followed TM's advice...

Shape Shifter · 07-06-2005, 11:33 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Whew. Thank goodness you posted something to bring Cuckold to his senses. I just hope he hasn't already followed TM's advice...

Hey, if I were in his circumstance, I'd want to beat somebody's ass. Violence is common in these situations. Hell, the few pro bono custody cases I've done, I was worried about getting shot. A punch in the nose, though justified morally, is not justified legally.

eta: Not exactly on point, but an interesting story: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article...682065,00.html

Replaced_Texan · 07-06-2005, 11:44 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
The problem with a lot of women in these situations is they don't come right the fuck out and say what they feel. This may sound sexist, but women seem to be more passive aggressive. They let the bad shit build and then handle it poorly, whereas a guy is used to just confronting an issue and having a blow-up over it.

This is not my experience at all. Guys, in my experience, like to avoid issues so as to not hurt the other party. They think I'm all fragile and shit, and dont' tell me stuff so I don't get upset.

Then I get even more upset.

Hank Chinaski · 07-06-2005, 11:46 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Guys, in my experience, like to avoid issues so as to not hurt the other party. They think I'm all fragile and shit, and dont' tell me stuff so I don't get upset.

Not to sound like a broken record but the hair pulling thing is contra evidence to what you're saying here.

ThurgreedMarshall · 07-06-2005, 11:52 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Hey, if I were in his circumstance, I'd want to beat somebody's ass. Violence is common in these situations. Hell, the few pro bono custody cases I've done, I was worried about getting shot. A punch in the nose, though justified morally, is not justified legally.

If you do it pony's way, he won't even know it was you. Then, later on, you could say something like, "I heard you got a hockey stick to the back of your head. Sounds like it hurt. Did you do anything to deserve it?"

TM

Replaced_Texan · 07-06-2005, 11:52 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Divorce lawyers have every incentive to maximize their billings. Fully litigating divorce and custody issues tends to benefit nobody except the attorneys. I know people who have litigated custody issues to death only to end up with the standard custody arrangement and $60k in legal bills. There are cheaper ways to get revenge.

On the plus side, my godfather put his separation dispute (the question was whether or not they were married, since Texas has common law marriage) on his Amex and something near a million miles off of the whole thing. Amex flew him to the US Open last year as a thank you to one of their better clients.

Oh, and, after a full trial and two years of bickering, several other severed relationships as friends and family took sides, a possible defamation suit, and a good several hundred thousand dollars, the judge agreed that they were never married.