General discussion - Mom and Dad Esq.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
And....(drumroll) I've quit my job. I'll be a full time, stay at home mom, starting Monday. I am scared shitless.

Congratulations!

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by dtb


As to kid-spacing, the adage I've heard is either less than 2 years apart or more than 3, but it's hardest for the older one between 2 and 3 years. But it's all a bunch of crap -- it depends on the kids and who they are and their relationship with their parents, etc.

What's so bad about the 2-3 range?

As for me, sister younger by 1 3/4 year. Probably not ideal, but would have been easier had the school-timing been such that we would be two grades apart rather than 1. OR if she had been born first.

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
What's so bad about the 2-3 range?

I know this can be a problem if you are potty-training #1 and baby comes along, but of course they will get over it eventually.

Not so worried about effect on kids - they adapt. What about effect on parents with two in diapers?

-TL

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by TexLex
I know this can be a problem if you are potty-training #1 and baby comes along, but of course they will get over it eventually.

Not so worried about effect on kids - they adapt. What about effect on parents with two in diapers?

The relationship between diapers and age is a bit like the relationship between wars and civilization. As a civilization progresses, its wars become more monumental and appalling, but substantially less frequent.

Having a late-stage toddler in diapers is not nearly so time-consuming an aspect of parenting as you might be led to believe by a three month old.

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by TexLex
I know this can be a problem if you are potty-training #1 and baby comes along, but of course they will get over it eventually.

Not so worried about effect on kids - they adapt. What about effect on parents with two in diapers?

-TL

My parents had four under the age of 5 and a half at one point, and they said it wasn't a big deal. My guess is that they probably had two in diapers at a time, and there are pictures of me changing my baby sister's diapers, so apparently my dad's child labor dreams were put into fruition quite early.

Edited to add: Of course the four kids in five and a half years thing came back to bite my dad in the ass when we were all in various stages of college at the same time. Something you don't really consider when you're talking about itty bitty ones.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
The relationship between diapers and age is a bit like the relationship between wars and civilization. As a civilization progresses, its wars become more monumental and appalling, but substantially less frequent.

Having a late-stage toddler in diapers is not nearly so time-consuming an aspect of parenting as you might be led to believe by a three month old.

Couldn't you end up with a North Korea, though--pay me some attention dammit, because you know what i can do?

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
Couldn't you end up with a North Korea, though--pay me some attention dammit, because you know what i can do?

If only Hank read this board. We'd have a Hoo Flung Poo joke by now.

[viet_mom]

Originally posted by TexLex
I have been looking for 9-12 and 12 mo sleepers (ie one piece footie pjs) to no avail. Seems that clothing stores figure by that age they don't need sleepers. Anyone know of any company who sells bigger sleepers? -TL

What do ya know....I am actually in a position to GIVE advice for once. I love those one piece sleepers too. I have them for Vietbabe (almost 18 months) from the Children's Place in both cotton for summer and fleece for winter. What's fab is that they come in "zip ups" (Vietbabe squirms with snaps) and also the footies have those no-slip things on the bottom (so they can run around in them). The sizes go up to 3T!!!

[baltassoc]

Originally posted by TexLex
New topic. Who has kids close in age? Pros? Cons? My bro and I were 3.5yrs apart, which I think was slightly more than ideal. Mr. Lex and his sis are 11mos apart, which I think is damn near suicidal. Thoughts?

I tried to tell my wife that having kids too close together would be tough, but she insisted on having baltspawn 2 about four minutes after baltspawn 1.

It is survivable to have two at a very close age. I have to admit I do not understand how the folks who have multiple young ones (like RT's parents) do it.

One thing to consider in tightly spaced kids is daycare costs. Going from 1 to 2 doubles your costs if both parents work. 2 to 3, not so much, because you suddenly get into stay at home / get a nanny range very quickly. If they are spaced further apart, the older kid is in cheaper/free childcare/school.

Originally posted by viet_mom
What do ya know....I am actually in a position to GIVE advice for once. I love those one piece sleepers too. I have them for Vietbabe (almost 18 months) from the Children's Place in both cotton for summer and fleece for winter.

I have one outfit from TCP - it (yay!) ran much larger than all his other 3-6mo clothes. Is this typical with clothes from there or just a fluke?

-T(zippers rule!)L

[tmdiva]

I do really like the Gap cotton sleepers--Magnus has had several. They tend to have really cute prints and wear really well.

Hanna Andersson has cute jammies (including one-piece), but I don't think they have any with feet. Magnus has a few sets of the striped long johns now, and I love them. They wear like iron.

I remember reading somewhere a few years ago about some long-term longitudinal study that found that the ideal spacing for children (in terms of maternal and fetal health, and--I believe--development of both children) is between 2 years 3 months and 2 years 8 months. Basically, it means you start trying to get pregnant when number 1 is 18 months old.

I am the oldest of 6, and my next sibling is 17 months younger (1 year difference in school). After having two in diapers, my mom swore off that, and the rest are between 2y8m and 3y4m apart (all 3 yrs apart in school). I missed a lot of my youngest siblings' growing up years (I left for college when the youngest was 5), but everyone's grown up and married now, and we all get along great.

tm

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by TexLex
I know this can be a problem if you are potty-training #1 and baby comes along, but of course they will get over it eventually.

Not so worried about effect on kids - they adapt. What about effect on parents with two in diapers?

-TL

My kids potty trained late- we had to listen to the parents with "more ass gifted kids" brag about early PT, but those same kids had accidents frequently, and guess what- an expected dirtydiaper is way better than the unexpected.

You also hope for a kid who'll make it easier; like Atticus' regularity would be a godsend. Twice a day, at particular times. Factor in the days when mommy locked him in the closet with a slop bucket, and he wouldn't have been a burden at all.

[dtb]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
What's so bad about the 2-3 range?

Who knows? Come to think of it, I believe I misstated the adage -- it's less than 2 or more than 4. I couldn't tell you exactly why, other than it's difficult for a 2 year old to express the intense feelings s/he is having, but s/he is having them, and it comes out in other ways, whereas a kid who is 4 or more will have those feelings, but will be able to express them verbally.

Under 2 and they don't notice as much, I guess.

But as I said before, it's probably all a bunch of hooey anyway -- it depends upon the kids' personalities more than anything.

[dtb]

Originally posted by baltassoc
I tried to tell my wife that having kids too close together would be tough, but she insisted on having baltspawn 2 about four minutes after baltspawn 1.

It is survivable to have two at a very close age. I have to admit I do not understand how the folks who have multiple young ones (like RT's parents) do it.

My second-favorite story about kid spacing (after my husband/b-i-l) is that of a college boyfriend's family. He was one of four boys, all born one year apart. Except for the last two -- who were twins. So his mother (who was an alcoholic -- understandably...) had (1) no help and (2) a 2-year-old, a 1-year-old and 2 newborns. It's a wonder she's only an alcoholic.

[baltassoc]

Originally posted by dtb
My second-favorite story about kid spacing (after my husband/b-i-l) is that of a college boyfriend's family. He was one of four boys, all born one year apart. Except for the last two -- who were twins. So his mother (who was an alcoholic -- understandably...) had (1) no help and (2) a 2-year-old, a 1-year-old and 2 newborns. It's a wonder she's only an alcoholic.

Through the local parents of multiples organization, we know a similar family. The mother had a plan for her perfect family: three kids, each spaced a year apart. The last kid was triplets. Yes, that's right, five kids under the age of 3 1/2 (now they range from 2-5). Just the logistics of childseats alone is mind boggling (Most minivans won't hold three carseats across in their back seat, and big SUVs don't work either because the middle seats have to flip up to get to the back. They have an Econoline.).

She is one of the most put together people I've ever met. Some people just seem to be able to handle it. A Saturday alone with my two, and I can barely move by the end of the day.