General discussion - Mom and Dad Esq.

[baltassoc]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
I'm poison on this board. a piece of voice of experience and i kill the board. sorry.

I've been told elsewhere not to challenge your knowledge of all things, or I will regret it, so I just let it drop.

[baltassoc]

Originally posted by baltassoc
I've been told elsewhere not to challenge your knowledge of all things, or I will regret it, so I just let it drop.

More substantively, the baltspouse wants to go back to work. Which I am all in favor of. But it raises a question of how to deal.

I'd be interested in hearing some thoughts on managing daycare with two professionals (or in particular, two lawyers). How does one meet the (5:30? 6:00) pick up deadline? Do we have to go with a nanny?

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally posted by baltassoc
More substantively, the baltspouse wants to go back to work. Which I am all in favor of. But it raises a question of how to deal.

I'd be interested in hearing some thoughts on managing daycare with two professionals (or in particular, two lawyers). How does one meet the (5:30? 6:00) pick up deadline? Do we have to go with a nanny?

Two words: Live-in au-pair.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by baltassoc
More substantively, the baltspouse wants to go back to work. Which I am all in favor of. But it raises a question of how to deal.

I'd be interested in hearing some thoughts on managing daycare with two professionals (or in particular, two lawyers). How does one meet the (5:30? 6:00) pick up deadline? Do we have to go with a nanny?

I haven't confronted the issue, but several friends seem to do the early/late approach. That is, one goes in and leaves work early. The other goes in/returns late. The late morning drops off; the early in the evening picks up. Not ideal, because it means less overlap of family, but what is ideal?

[taxwonk]

Originally posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy
Two words: Live-in au-pair.

One more word: Sweden.

[baltassoc]

Originally posted by taxwonk
One more word: Sweden.

Since you guys have brought it up, does anyone have any experience with au pairs? The literature I've received implies a pretty strict time limit per week (45 hours). Is there some flexibility there? Would we have to provide a car (as a practical matter, not as a program requirement)? Can I use that as an excuse to get myself out of the SUV I hate and into the convertable (or sports car) I've always wanted (and hand down the SUV)?

Obviously, with an au pair a lot of such things would be highly dependant on the actual au pair, and so the luck of the draw, but anyone have experience? Besides Wonks suggestion, is any country better than another, for any reason besides appearance (NTTAWWT)?

[bilmore]

Originally posted by baltassoc
Since you guys have brought it up, does anyone have any experience with au pairs? The literature I've received implies a pretty strict time limit per week (45 hours). Is there some flexibility there? Would we have to provide a car (as a practical matter, not as a program requirement)? Can I use that as an excuse to get myself out of the SUV I hate and into the convertable (or sports car) I've always wanted (and hand down the SUV)?

Obviously, with an au pair a lot of such things would be highly dependant on the actual au pair, and so the luck of the draw, but anyone have experience? Besides Wonks suggestion, is any country better than another, for any reason besides appearance (NTTAWWT)?

Lots of friends did. Once. Too high-maintenance, and too high of a chance of getting Ms. PartyGrrl. And then, boy, are you stuck. ("I know I'm supposed to make breakfast, Mr. Baggins, but my new boyfriend that I met at First Avenue is in jail again, and I just HAVE to find a way to get him out, or I'll just DIE! Oh, and I think I'm pregnant.", all in a cute french accent.) The agency that sets them up will find you another, eventually, but you're stuck with who you get for a good amount of time. (At least, you're paying, and you're providing the room and board.) I know six families who did this, and they now recommend it to no one.

Best thing we ever did was, hire a nanny. The kids were in a corporate-type daycare, and that was really very good. Lots of activities, kids were stimulated and had fun, staff turnover was fairly low - a good experience. But, when we hit three kids, we figured out that someone who came in at 6:00am and left at 6:00 pm was about the same price. Plus, the kids didn't have to get up, eat a fast breakfast, and get loaded into the car early in the morning, they got to play in their own neighborhood with their own friends, using their own stuff, they got more individual attention, things were much more relaxed at the end of the day (no quick whisking kids away from whatever activity they were involved in at daycare, no rush to get home, get settled, and get dinner), they could play together if they wanted to (no age separation into classes like at daycare), or not, if they didn't, fewer colds/flu/whatevers, . . . .

It was just a ton better. It does all depend, of course, on finding the right nanny. We lucked out on that, to a great degree.

[viet_mom]

Originally posted by baltassoc
I'd be interested in hearing some thoughts on managing daycare with two professionals (or in particular, two lawyers). How does one meet the (5:30? 6:00) pick up deadline? Do we have to go with a nanny?

Well the two professionals in this house are me and myself but same daycare deadline issue. I work part time but obviously will sometimes be working past the daycare closing. If I'm working from my home office that day, it works out great b/c I can pick up Vietbabe and hang with her for a bit, and then return to working when she is asleep. The tough one is when you are simply not able to pick up the child when daycare is closing.

This is the way I used to handle it, which you might consider: hire someone to pick up kiddie from daycare and bring them to your home till you get there. You will probably need to guarantee her some form of employment other than "we'll call you when we need you; usually 1 hour frantically before the center closes and you better be available right away". So I hired her to work 15 hours a week (at 15 bucks an hour). The "default" if she didn't hear from me was to pick up Vietbabe at daycare and babysit till I got home. I installed a car seat in her car and showed her where the center was, etc.

If however, I was able to pick up Vietbabe, I'd call her on her cell phone and send her shopping (to get food; or to even pick up little gifts I needed to get for people; one time to return for me some clothes I bought that I changed my mind on). Or, she'd come to the house and clean and do laundry. Or....she'd do next to nothing during the week and I'd "save" her hours till Friday and Saturday night and she'd babysit then.

You could actually have fun with this. One night there was nothing for her to do so I had her cook me a gourment meal and then handwash some of my colorful items. I found I was able to save a little money because I'd have her cut coupons and she'd also go to a Costco or BJ's wholesale discount place. You could have her do anything you want in the hours you don't need her. (OK knock it off smut minds).

If you don't want to do that -- do what I do now. Keep a car seat at the daycare center, give a few people a key to your house and call the different people and see if they can go to the daycare and pick up your child and car seat and take both to your home. Sometimes, you can make an arrangement with someone at the daycare (like a teacher) who will do it gladly for the right price.

PS - Not for nothing, but at the high school/early college parties in my town, there was always a wildly oversexed foreign chick who was totally hot and would do anything with any gender in front of any body. And they were all au pairs.

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally posted by baltassoc
Since you guys have brought it up, does anyone have any experience with au pairs? The literature I've received implies a pretty strict time limit per week (45 hours). Is there some flexibility there? Would we have to provide a car (as a practical matter, not as a program requirement)? Can I use that as an excuse to get myself out of the SUV I hate and into the convertable (or sports car) I've always wanted (and hand down the SUV)?

Obviously, with an au pair a lot of such things would be highly dependant on the actual au pair, and so the luck of the draw, but anyone have experience? Besides Wonks suggestion, is any country better than another, for any reason besides appearance (NTTAWWT)?

We have had a lot of experience with au Pairs, from back when we were a two professional family. We had some great experiences, some so-so experiences, and a couple of really bad experiences, but the really bad one's we dealt with quickly and they were over in a week or two (one was an au pair with a fondness for every pharmaceutical in the cabinet, the other simply one with all the get-up and go of roadkill). Interview carefully and check references. We have had better luck with au pairs than with domestic childcare providers, though have discovered that a local grad school with a child-ed program has a lot of good grad students willing to help - if you can deal with high-turnover, the quality of care is often extraordinary.


I think you get a better sense for someone and their strengths and weaknesses when you live with them.

On the hours thing, the agencies can be pretty strict and monitor (though some agencies less so), but you'll quickly get into a network of au pairs and ex au pairs where there will be others available to help out with spare babysitting. (Lot's of au pairs find a way to stick around, much to the delight of any number of 25 year old American males).

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally posted by taxwonk
One more word: Sweden.

France. Norway. Switzerland.

Think globally, act locally.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy
France. Norway. Switzerland.

Ophelia: Yah, I am Inga, frum Svee-den.

Coleman (confused): But . . . surely you're wearing . . . lederhosen . . . ?

Ophelia (urgently, with a stern look to Coleman): Yah, fur shure, frum Svee-den.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by bilmore
Best thing we ever did was, hire a nanny. The kids were in a corporate-type daycare, and that was really very good. Lots of activities, kids were stimulated and had fun, staff turnover was fairly low - a good experience. But, when we hit three kids, we figured out that someone who came in at 6:00am and left at 6:00 pm was about the same price. Plus, the kids didn't have to get up, eat a fast breakfast, and get loaded into the car early in the morning, they got to play in their own neighborhood with their own friends, using their own stuff, they got more individual attention, things were much more relaxed at the end of the day (no quick whisking kids away from whatever activity they were involved in at daycare, no rush to get home, get settled, and get dinner), they could play together if they wanted to (no age separation into classes like at daycare), or not, if they didn't, fewer colds/flu/whatevers, . . . .

It was just a ton better.

I can see that this would be much more convenient for us, but it just doesn't seem fair to the three-year-old. He's a social little guy, and I worry that if he was at home with a nanny, he just wouldn't get the kind of sustained quality time with his compadres that he likes. Maybe if there were more kids his age in our immediate neighborhood, this would seem like a better option.

[baltassoc]

Originally posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy
On the hours thing, the agencies can be pretty strict and monitor (though some agencies less so)

We've got information from the Cultural Care agency (formerly something else, EFS, maybe?), but do you know of any other agencies you can recommend (not just based on the hours thing, but for cost vs. quality)?

[bilmore]

Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
I can see that this would be much more convenient for us, but it just doesn't seem fair to the three-year-old. He's a social little guy, and I worry that if he was at home with a nanny, he just wouldn't get the kind of sustained quality time with his compadres that he likes. Maybe if there were more kids his age in our immediate neighborhood, this would seem like a better option.

Yeah, we had a bunch of similar-aged rugrats in our neck of the woods, plus our nanny was big on arranging get-togethers with other people and their kids. That was the beginning of the stage of our lives when, on an average day, we would have ten or so kids in our house. And, no, we don't have ten or so kids of our own.

Arkansas Family Celebrates 15th Child

May 24, 7:46 PM (ET)

FAYETTEVILLE, Ark. (AP) - Former state legislator Jim Bob Duggar and his wife Michelle are celebrating the birth of their 15th child. Both the baby and mother were doing well, although Michelle was feeling some discomfort because the birth was her second by Caesarean section, said Jim Bob's mother, Mary Duggar.

"She's a trooper. She's just all smiles," Mary Duggar said in a telephone interview Monday.

The baby boy, Jackson Levi Duggar, was born at 10:52 a.m. Sunday. He weighed 7 pounds 8 ounces and is 20 inches long.

"She was wanting to do it naturally," Mary Duggar said. But the delivery was by C-section because one of Jackson's shoulders was presenting first.

"I call him Jumping Jack because he would go in a circle," she said.

Home briefly from the hospital later Monday, Jim Bob, 38, sounded a bit tired but happy. He said his wife and new son were doing fine. He said he leaves the decision up to Michelle on whether to have more children.

"I have always left it up to Michelle because she's actually the one that carries them and does all the labor," he said. "But we both love children. Even yesterday, she said she would like to have some more."

Michelle, 37, probably will be in Washington Regional Medical Center for three or four days, said her mother-in-law, who is taking care of the 14 other children.

Michelle, who home schools her children and is helping to build the family's new home in Tontitown from the ground up, started having her babies when she was 21, four years after she and Jim Bob married. He is a real estate businessman and a former state representative.

Their children include two sets of twins, and the parents have stuck to the letter "J" for their names. There is Joshua, 16; Jana and John-David, 14; Jill, 13; Jessa, 11; Jinger, 10; Joseph, 9; Josiah, 7; Joy-Anna, 6; Jeremiah and Jedidiah, 5; Jason, 4; James, 2; and Justin, 1.

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