A Friendly Correction for those Man-Haters who Delve to be Single

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally Posted by Pretty Little Flower

Have any of you even considered that NotBob is less concerned about what response he is going to manufacture for clients and more concerned THAT HE DOES NOT HAVE ANY HOBBIES???? People, this is a cry for help. NotBob is a lawyer who, in his free time, enjoys the law, learning about the law, attempting to obtain more law clients, and talking about the law on anonymous chatting boards for lawyers. NotBob does not need to take up woodworking so he can check off that box in his form letter-style conversation with clients. NotBob need to start getting in shape to be a Crashed Ice racer, or an urban base jumper, or something else that is likely to result in him getting simultaneous fellatio from the entire USC cheerleading squad while guzzling all the free Red Bull he can stomach.

I have never seen such a collection of first world problems and first world solutions as this hobby stuff, looking to find ways to waste time and money. Screw the USC cheerleading squad, NotBob (and you) need to go find a hobby that has some more of a global perspective. Like Less with his international sex tourism.

[Icky Thump]

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski

http://www.freep.com/article/20140415/NEWS05/304150058/metro-Detroit-winter-snowfall-record

We broke the record for most snow EVER here.

Congratulations. What did you win?

[taxwonk]

Originally Posted by Pretty Little Flower

I can't get past the condition precedent to your query.

Don't fight the hypo. You said yourself, you're well past 40. By now you should be an expert at sexual delusions.

[Adder]

Originally Posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)

You think this was anything other than a power play?

With him, I honestly don't know. I mean, you'd think so from Mr. Big Shot Partner, but I've actually had enough conversations with the guy about young lawyers and how he comes off to them to think he may be doing it unintentionally. He was definitely a bit clueless about how people reacted to him, and he actually seemed to get a lot better at how he dealt with people over the years I was working with him.

Or maybe he had me snowed.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally Posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?

People put their interests on resumes?

I try to work in a Pynchon reference or two.

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally Posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy

I have never seen such a collection of first world problems and first world solutions as this hobby stuff, looking to find ways to waste time and money. Screw the USC cheerleading squad, NotBob (and you) need to go find a hobby that has some more of a global perspective. Like Less with his international sex tourism.

Speaking of NotBob, a Bikini Kill reissue:

http://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/...eah-yeah-yeah/

[Not Bob]

Originally Posted by Sparklehorse

.... I get that Not Bob doesn't want to say that he spends all of his free time drinking himself into oblivion in front of the television ....

Well, I might prefer "spends all of his free time drinking himself into a moderate buzz in front of the television" to "into oblivion," but thank you for your understanding.

But, my point -- and I am being somewhat serious, I assure you -- is that there are certain codes to be used in a conversation between a service provider and a client or prospect. And I was unprepared to give an answer that is in accordance with that code.

Yes, it is true that I have interests other than ogling pay-cable actresses and funky-haired bartenders. But, to a certain extent, Flower is right that I don't think that I have actual interests/hobbies that I find as satisfying as I should. I do wrestle with that, and my last shrink suggested that I go trekking in the Himalayas to figure life out. Sadly, she didn't offer to fund said trek, so.

Ahem. Back to the code. Everyone will mainly agree that I am mostly correct when I say that "reading" and "ogling chicks who are Not TriDelts" (NTTAWWT -- I have fond memories of "ogling chicks who [were] TriDelts," but you get the idea) are not code hobbies. For a (sadly) large percentage of prospects/clients in my line of practice, it is not good for building a book to be Not Babbittish. (I exaggerate, but only slightly.) So in my most recent meeting, I went with golf and Eisenhower Republicanism. Seem to go ok.

Carry on.

ETA: David Boies is interesting on his own time.

[Sidd Finch]

Originally Posted by Adder

Hey, you've got to thank those people. They give you a really easy reason to ding them. They've volunteered themselves as dumb.

True. But I prefer it when the easy dings provide good fodder for stories. Like the really sweaty guy who came to our interviewee reception and kept touching every female lawyer. Or the guy who had an entire conversation with another lawyer while staring at her breasts (of him, before the reception, I wrote in my review that "within five minutes of the interview starting, I began thinking about stabbing him in the eye with a pencil. It got worse." This was literally true.)

[Sidd Finch]

Originally Posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?

People put their interests on resumes?

Sadly, yes. Usually law students, who feel that they need to fill the space.

It is okay only very, very rarely. It has to be something you are really dedicated to, and that might provide something to actually talk about. "Running"? No. "Compete in ultra-marathons", okay, if true and not something you've done just a handful of times. "Reading and writing fiction"? No. "Writing fiction (short stories published in Granta, Playboy, and other highbrow places," ok.

A law school classmate had "near-fluent in Spanish, conversant in French, ability to swear in Italian, tendency to burst into fictitious German." I give that an ok too, but I'm an outlier.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by Not Bob

Well, I might prefer "spends all of his free time drinking himself into a moderate buzz in front of the television" to "into oblivion," but thank you for your understanding.

But, my point -- and I am being somewhat serious, I assure you -- is that there are certain codes to be used in a conversation between a service provider and a client or prospect. And I was unprepared to give an answer that is in accordance with that code.

Yes, it is true that I have interests other than ogling pay-cable actresses and funky-haired bartenders. But, to a certain extent, Flower is right that I don't think that I have actual interests/hobbies that I find as satisfying as I should. I do wrestle with that, and my last shrink suggested that I go trekking in the Himalayas to figure life out. Sadly, she didn't offer to fund said trek, so.

Ahem. Back to the code. Everyone will mainly agree that I am mostly correct when I say that "reading" and "ogling chicks who are Not TriDelts" (NTTAWWT -- I have fond memories of "ogling chicks who [were] TriDelts," but you get the idea) are not code hobbies. For a (sadly) large percentage of prospects/clients in my line of practice, it is not good for building a book to be Not Babbittish. (I exaggerate, but only slightly.) So in my most recent meeting, I went with golf and Eisenhower Republicanism. Seem to go ok.

Carry on.

ETA: David Boies is interesting on his own time.

whoa... you're serious, aren't you?

Getting clients is just like getting women. YOU GOT TO ACT LIKE YOU DON"T NEED IT AND REALLY DON'T CARE IF YOU GET IT.

A potential client asks a corner office guy, "What hobbies do you have?" Em'll get an answer sort of like, "Fuck that, I'm not getting paid enough to open up my personal life. Here's what I'm willing to do: You give me work. I'll have my factotums do it. I will send you a heavily padded bill and you'll pay it. For all you need to know, that's my fucking hobby. And I'd apprecite it if you pick up this lunch bill, now that i think about it."

You start talking about word working or some shit, a guy like Penske will swoop in and poach that client right quick. Grow a pair for god's sakes.

[Sidd Finch]

Originally Posted by taxwonk

What makes reading a dumb interest? I'd wager at least a third of the people here are pretty much always working on at least a couple of books. I would double down that you are one of them.

That's the point -- it's not sufficiently exceptional or interesting to be worth putting on a resume. You think the ones who don't put it on their resume don't actually read?

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by Sidd Finch

True. But I prefer it when the easy dings provide good fodder for stories. Like the really sweaty guy who came to our interviewee reception and kept touching every female lawyer.

"touching?" Really?

Or the guy who had an entire conversation with another lawyer while staring at her breasts (of him, before the reception, I wrote in my review that "within five minutes of the interview starting, I began thinking about stabbing him in the eye with a pencil. It got worse." This was literally true.)

you actually wrote that in a review?

[Sidd Finch]

Originally Posted by Pretty Little Flower

Have any of you even considered that NotBob is less concerned about what response he is going to manufacture for clients and more concerned THAT HE DOES NOT HAVE ANY HOBBIES???? People, this is a cry for help. NotBob is a lawyer who, in his free time, enjoys the law, learning about the law, attempting to obtain more law clients, and talking about the law on anonymous chatting boards for lawyers. NotBob does not need to take up woodworking so he can check off that box in his form letter-style conversation with clients. NotBob need to start getting in shape to be a Crashed Ice racer, or an urban base jumper, or something else that is likely to result in him getting simultaneous fellatio from the entire USC cheerleading squad while guzzling all the free Red Bull he can stomach.

Well, he spends time here. He could have just said "talking with my imaginary friends on the Internet. Sometimes they show me boobies."

[Flinty_McFlint]

Originally Posted by Sidd Finch

True. But I prefer it when the easy dings provide good fodder for stories. Like the really sweaty guy who came to our interviewee reception and kept touching every female lawyer. Or the guy who had an entire conversation with another lawyer while staring at her breasts (of him, before the reception, I wrote in my review that "within five minutes of the interview starting, I began thinking about stabbing him in the eye with a pencil. It got worse." This was literally true.)

In my defense, they were really nice breasts. I think you were just being territorial.

[Sidd Finch]

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski

"touching?" Really?

Really. Like, stroking their arms and such. It got to the point where me and another guy would take turns interrupting any conversation he was having with a woman from the firm. It was seriously disgusting.

He also called the hiring partner's assistant three times to ask what he should wear. He then wore a tie that clashed horribly with his shirt, realized he was the only one with a tie so took it off, and continued to have the "very sweaty" problem so unbuttoned the shirt -- enabling everyone to see that he was wearing a black "wife-beater" t-shirt.

The kid was truly extraordinary.

you actually wrote that in a review?

Yes. Felt slightly bad when I learned the kid was a cousin or nephew of one of my partners, but such is life. He deserved it. (He actually told another interviewer - a woman who had gone to his law school - that he liked to walk around campus with his dog because it was a good way to meet girls. Where do these people come from????)