[hi less!!!]Where Everyone Knows Penske's Socks Don't Suck[/hi less!!!]!!!

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by Penske_Account
I did. And I bet a sizeable number of the posters here have been to the bar...

It's true. Most of us have met Penske's wife in a bar.

TM

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by dtb
So this morning on the way into work, the car driver has a Spanish-language station on the radio (it's a somewhat risque morning-talk-radio show interspersed with songs here and there), and I hear a catchy tune that translates roughly as follows(stop me if you've heard this):

• When you wake up in the morning
  And you turn on the light
  Scratch your balls
  [something something something something]
  
  Chorus:
  Scratch yourself
  Scratch yourself
  Scratch yourself
  Scratch yourself

It's the second time I've heard the song. The first time I heard it, I thought I must have misunderstood the lyrics. So today I listened more carefully and, to my dismay, I discovered I had not.

I can hardly wait until Monday so that my ears can again be assaulted by that classy number!

As noted yesterday on the PB, I am quitting the lawyer gig to become a songwriter. Here's what I have so far (constructive criticism is appreciated!):

Work is hard
Yeah, reallly hard
It really sucks
So so hard

Work sucks!
Work sucks!
Work sucks!
Work sucks!
Work sucks!

I hate to work
I'd rather not
Cause work is hard
Really really hard

Work sucks!
Work sucks!
Work sucks!
Work sucks!
Work sucks!



This is fun AND easy! So where am I supposed to send my submmissions?

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
It's true. Most of us have met Penske's wife in a bar.

TM

Or seen "Bar Slut I" "Bar Slut 2" or "Bar Slut 3 -- Mixers."

[dtb]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
As noted yesterday on the PB, I am quitting the lawyer gig to become a songwriter. Here's what I have so far (constructive criticism is appreciated!):

Work is hard
Yeah, reallly hard
It really sucks
So so hard

Work sucks!
Work sucks!
Work sucks!
Work sucks!
Work sucks!

I hate to work
I'd rather not
Cause work is hard
Really really hard

Work sucks!
Work sucks!
Work sucks!
Work sucks!
Work sucks!



This is fun AND easy! So where am I supposed to send my submmissions?

I think if you were to perform it in a round (a la "Row, Row, Row Your Boat") with "Scratch Yourself" you'd have a guaranteed Grammy winner.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Not true. Hot women get yelled at, but they don't get approached. Any jackass can say, "Can I get some fries with that shake?" But it takes balls to actually approach a hot woman to try to get some play.

TM

2. Hot women are tricky to approach. They've heard every line, and you know that going in, so you're kind of self conscious that whatever you say, she's going to find it uncreative.

Appropos to this topic, somebody left a card on my windshield yesterday that said, in black marker, handwritten "You are beautiful." I don't know what to make of that. Last time this happened, the anonymous card was from a gay weightlifter who described himself as "Italian, 5'10, and really into fitness." He told me he'd been "watching me for some time" and asked me to put a white cloth or paper on my dash if I was interested. I thought it was a joke, until all my friends told me they hadn't done it. I then worried about being chloroformed and kidnapped by a flaming Italian Schwarzenegger for the next several months.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by dtb
I always wondered what it would be like to be so hot that random men can't just can't help themselves and must stop to make my acquaintance.

This is why I never go to the Castro.

[dtb]

Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
This is why I never go to the Castro.

Well, Ty, that's just the cross you have to bear for being outrageously hot. My sympathies, friend; it must be torture.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
As noted yesterday on the PB, I am quitting the lawyer gig to become a songwriter. Here's what I have so far (constructive criticism is appreciated!):

Work is hard
Yeah, reallly hard
It really sucks
So so hard

Work sucks!
Work sucks!
Work sucks!
Work sucks!
Work sucks!

I hate to work
I'd rather not
Cause work is hard
Really really hard

Work sucks!
Work sucks!
Work sucks!
Work sucks!
Work sucks!



This is fun AND easy! So where am I supposed to send my submmissions?

This reminds me of the song pitched on the band bus during the American tour towards the end of Sid & Nancy:

I want a job
I want a job
I want a good job
One that satisfies my artistic needs

(repeat)

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
2. Hot women are tricky to approach. They've heard every line, and you know that going in, so you're kind of self conscious that whatever you say, she's going to find it uncreative.

How timely. Today on MSN there is an article about good lines to use. Take these tips from Christophe, par example:

Cristophe
Celebrity hairdresser to Bill Clinton, Nicole Kidman, and Liv Tyler

"Don't play it cool. Being intimidating and aloof is no way to start a dialogue, or a relationship. Being casual and friendly goes a long way towards establishing trust with someone. Also, use the fact that everyone has an image or fantasy of who they are inside. Tell someone they remind you of a certain celebrity and maybe continue the dialogue by asking, "If you could be any celebrity, who would it be?" You'd be surprised by some of the answers you get! It taps into who a person really feels they are or aspires to be. It's about finding out what someone's dreams may be. Then you can start connecting with them."


That's not cheesy at all! Thank you, Christophe! For more tips, go to http://msn.match.com/msn/article.asp...44658&GT1=6736

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Yes.

In fact, it was one of those bars where they put a case of The Beast on the bar and let you sit there till it's done. Just an FYI, the pregnancy has taken a small toll on my looks -- those hormones can make one's skin a bit blotchy.

I have trouble in the bar scene. I don't dig all the alpha male jockeying and I don't like (a) competing for someone I might not like after five seconds of conversation ("I'm Denise, and I'm a personal trainer and pekinese breeder"), and (b) having to fight off short guys in leather jackets or stumpy alpha male wanna bes.

Perhaps its a Philly thing, but the Guido level in bars I've been to is off the charts. I don't want to have to fend off greaseballs, but they seem to infect every bar terminally in these parts, along with their idiot cousin, the falling down drunk ex-frat guy from Villanova, offering the opening line, "Hey, d'ju go to Episcopal? Yeeew look like someone I knew who went there" (after which he stares at the woman's breasts for three seconds and the goes in for the kill - "Hey, wanna Michelob Ultra?"

[dtb]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
How timely. Today on MSN there is an article about good lines to use. Take these tips from Christophe, par example:

Cristophe
Celebrity hairdresser to Bill Clinton, Nicole Kidman, and Liv Tyler

"Don't play it cool. Being intimidating and aloof is no way to start a dialogue, or a relationship. Being casual and friendly goes a long way towards establishing trust with someone. Also, use the fact that everyone has an image or fantasy of who they are inside. Tell someone they remind you of a certain celebrity and maybe continue the dialogue by asking, "If you could be any celebrity, who would it be?" You'd be surprised by some of the answers you get! It taps into who a person really feels they are or aspires to be. It's about finding out what someone's dreams may be. Then you can start connecting with them."


That's not cheesy at all! Thank you, Christophe! For more tips, go to http://msn.match.com/msn/article.asp...44658&GT1=6736

Wait a sec. A guy called Christophe, who is a hairdresser, is doling out tips on how to pick up chicks?


Pay attention, fellas!

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
This reminds me of the song pitched on the band bus during the American tour towards the end of Sid & Nancy:

I want a job
I want a job
I want a good job
One that satisfies my artistic needs

(repeat)

It has kind of a punky feel to it.

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
short guys in leather jackets or stumpy alpha male wanna bes.

What distinguishes the two? Are the short leather jacket-wearers more of just the space-filler beta male wannabe variety?

[dtb]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
It has kind of a punky feel to it.

It's no Scratch Yourself, but it'll do.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
How timely. Today on MSN there is an article about good lines to use. Take these tips from Christophe, par example:

Cristophe
Celebrity hairdresser to Bill Clinton, Nicole Kidman, and Liv Tyler

"Don't play it cool. Being intimidating and aloof is no way to start a dialogue, or a relationship. Being casual and friendly goes a long way towards establishing trust with someone. Also, use the fact that everyone has an image or fantasy of who they are inside. Tell someone they remind you of a certain celebrity and maybe continue the dialogue by asking, "If you could be any celebrity, who would it be?" You'd be surprised by some of the answers you get! It taps into who a person really feels they are or aspires to be. It's about finding out what someone's dreams may be. Then you can start connecting with them."


That's not cheesy at all! Thank you, Christophe! For more tips, go to http://msn.match.com/msn/article.asp...44658&GT1=6736

Yeh, but none of this addressses the meat of the issue, which is "What opening line do you use?" Thats the tricky part. Once you engage conversation, of course you should be yourself. BUT the opener is the son of a bitch in the whole project. Its like hitting a one iron out of heavy rough.