Mother, mother, mother - there's too many of you crying.

[Adder]

Originally Posted by sebastian_dangerfield

Stop trivializing racism and sexism by suggesting almost any act or omission stems from them.

Yes, your point is that you know better about what's real racism and sexism than the women and POC color who complain about them.

Look, I used to be like you. I specifically recall talking to fellow young associate women about their experiences at the firm and thinking (probably even saying) that I didn't think it was a gender thing. Then those things kept happening, some of them in front of me.

Now, you might not think it's a big deal that the senior partner would always ask the female associate on the team to book the conference rooms and take the notes. Or, in one guy's case, behave entirely differently (e.g., never swearing) with women in the room, thus putting barriers in the way of their relationships with him (that guy, btw, I think is a genuinely good guy who seemed to get much better on this front over time, but how many women didn't advance because they couldn't be his buddy?).

Heck, I even debated with RT on these very pages about whether it was creepy to hit on a woman you'd been hanging out with in an elevator. Eventually I realized I was being a dumbass and not listening to people who experience the world differently than I do.

So, yeah, it might seem trivial to you. It might even seem trivial to me. But hey, it's not our call because we probably don't fully understand.

We have a board full of quasi-nude shots on this very site. All women. Does this make us sexist?

I don't usually check those out, but if I do, it's from a body-positive, sex-positive, pro-womyn viewpoint.

That's mostly a joke, but not entirely. I don't think pictures of nude women are inherently sexist. But nonetheless, yes, it probably does make us a little sexist. Are you really 100% sure you couldn't possibly be?

I told GWNC she has a great ass.

Well, she did make it her avatar.

Am I sexist?

Dude. Of course you are, but that has nothing to do with GWNC's great ass.

Is she contributing to patriarchy by using the pic?

She gets to do what she wants. You and I don't get to judge her. Is this difficult for you?

It's nuts.

It's not at all nuts. Patriarchy and misogyny and gender roles are part of the culture. We're all subject to it.

But those of us with brains can be a bit more careful.

Yes, and the very first way we should be careful is listening to women and people of color and not substitute our judgment for theirs.