Apropos of nothing
 

who happens to be next on my ignore list (love this), how come my screen says I have one unread message when I do not?

Things I Have Been Wondering About
 

Here's a working hypothesis:

The "L" in W.W.L.D. used to be Lance, as in Lance Armstrong. Nw that the TdF is over, it's Lance, as in pick-a-pornstar.

Ick.

Puerto Rican Jesus
 

Bitch please. I asked my Puerto Rican friends in the Blood Hound Gang* to look into it already. Jesus was in fact Puerto Rican, and he threw the gamblers out of the temple for using non-fuzzy dice.

*Or was it just the one guy on 3-2-1 Contact who was Puerto Rican?

Band Names
 

My sister listens to them on a semi-regular basis, I think. At least she listens to someone with the ramblings of crazy people over industrial / orchestral sound. She and her friends probably could easily be defined as a "pretty weird crowd."

Today is not any different than any other day
 

You who have taken the bait are just a sock for one horrible person!

Spiderman 2 Poster
 

It looks a bit like Patrick Dempsey to me.

NYTimes Porn Section (I thought it only came on the weekends)
 

Bitch please. We will certainly never be in competition for the same women then. You can take the Twiggy's and Gwyneth's. I'll take the Carmen's and Britney's and their motherjumping hugeness.

Spiderman 2 Poster
 

I thought it looked like Howard Dean about to walk into a fundraiser.

Somewhere Over the Rainbow is a Dunkin Donuts
 

Well, it's been pretty darn good on a few fronts.
Going to cool places and doing cool things: Check. Last week, the fast forward involved feeding four pieces of fruit to orangutans in Malaysia, which is more fun than anything I've ever done that didn't involve two naked girls.

Disastrous meltdowns: Check. Last week, both Jon and Kelly and Millie and Chuck made huge errors. Apparently, Millie's and Chuck's were huger, and they got bounced. Also, Tian and Jaree's going mental at each other every episode (until the one where they were getting along great and got eliminated).

Questionable decision-making: Check. The NFL wives' use of the fast forward.

People making fun of other people: Check. Millie had a huge mole on her face, and everyone else would say "milliemilliemilliemiillieMOLE." Good times.

Sadly, what it's missing is any real stand-out personality driven story lines. The leading teams are all kind of blah. I think they were hoping that the father-son team did better, where the son was a Jack Osborne type megalomaniac. But they lost early on. As did the NFL wives who were kind of fun.

It's down to four teams: Kelly and Jon, Chip and Reichen, David and Jeff and Jon and Al. Once again, women aren't faring very well. I bet if they do it again they make all teams MF to even it up. (And I know Flo and Zack won last year, I know).

I Have Liked Tarts Since The Beginning of Time
 

Also shocking that he can't get a date. Since...
"I wouldn't have a relationship with a woman who wears trousers because I wouldn't have a relationship with a woman who didn't please me."

And he claims not to be sexist when he says that clearly women are not equal to men. Hmm - the single life must appeal to him.

Spiderman 2 Poster
 

What would Sigmund Freud say?

"Goodness."

NYTimes Porn Section (I thought it only came on the weekends)
 

"Tits" was good. "Tits" was a part of my past, too. But this - this is just too devoid of meaning.

(And, it reminds me too much of the essence of my relationship with the second GF long ago.)

NYTimes Porn Section (I thought it only came on the weekends)
 

I assume you will let paigs have Britney Murphy, who seems to be in a race to the bottom with LFB. [Insert anus bleaching joke here.]

NYTimes Porn Section (Goddamnit, Say What You Really Mean)
 

Paigow:

Why is it that every chick over 30 has to constantly degarde any chick who's hotter than they are (granted, I ain't sayin' Jenna is hotter than you, cause I don't know you, but statistics favor that conclusion)?

If I had a nickel for every chick I know around 30-35 who beats on younger and/or plastic-surgery enhanced chicks, I'd have a third car. Its like those chicks who've had kids and deride other girls they see who are in better shape with the line "Wellll, she hasn't had kids yet."

I call bullshit. Lets call things like they really are here.

Jenna is what most men would consider very fucking hot. Yes, males idealize the barbie look, and she fits the Barbie look about as perfectly as anything with two legs walking upright ever has. Would I marry her? Fuck no, but would I be fool enough to say her tits are a disaster or she has flabby arms? Pleeeeese. How much of a tacit admission of subconscious envy do you need to betray?

What you really mean to say is "I'm disgusted that men like the way she looks and that someone like her looks like that because I don't look like that and don't want to look like that." That's a very reasonable position. If I were a woman, I might also be pissed that men have such fantastic notions of what the perfect woman looks like. However, I'd never float a silly stalking horse argument like "Oh, she's not good looking... just look at how flabby her arms are!!!" Trust me, she's damn easy on the eyes, and her arms are just fine.

S(Just come out and say what you mean for crissakes - its ok to say "fuck men for liking that impossible look")D

NYTimes Porn Section (I thought it only came on the weekends)
 

There's a photo of skeletor in this week's People cavorting on the beach with a major piece of arm candy (and looking truly ill as she stretches). If she's going to waste away, she might as well do it with a prettier view than Jack Nicholson's gut!