Re: Or grandfather
 

They did call when they got my application (which requires a copy of a report saying your child needs it). The report clearly states that after 2 years of kindergarten level of schooling, Vietbabe doesn't even have the "precursors" for reading and is at the pre-k level. They said "Sorry but we're booked for over a year but we'll give you a call if a child drops out but that's not likely". Then I begged for the names of instructors who could do it on their own time (and my dime) like at night or weekends and they say the program is free and they don't give out names of instructors. I made every call possible to find an OG tutor, even calling the college in Amenia, NY where it's taught. I put an ad on Craigslist. It was like a full time job getting one. I could go on and on. I finally found one. I don't know how great she is. I'm trying to listen in from another room.

Re: Or grandfather
 

No doubt.

My niece is on ritilan and is a poster child for how well that drug can work. I could go on and on about how it has made her life immeasurably better, but will spare you.

But, when she had a string of bad grades and not turning things in the parents took her to the doctor to get her dose adjusted and also talked to her about the importance of getting everything done at school. For various reasons the new dose was not going to start for another week.

Between going to the doctor and starting the new dose there was such an improvement the teacher called to tell Mom that whatever happened she has really turned around. Mom was actually mad and assumed that teacher was just treating her differently. It took a bit of explaining to convince Mom that her child may not have needed a med adjustment, just a sit down to go over what was happening. Like what we used to call parenting.

It is a tough balance.

It is only made harder by the fact that you love the brats so much and would literally do anything to help them. The rub is in figuring out what actually helps.

Re: Or grandfather
 

so true. that's what makes it easy for Penske to be so flippant here. His kids look just like Atticus' so P. knows they aren't his. Of course, he doesn't realize that the fact his kids look like Atticus' really means their mine, but same result.

Re: Or grandfather
 

You are a very giving soul.

Goddamnit.
 

Pancreatic cancer fucking sucks.

Re: Goddamnit.
 

Yes, it does. I am so sorry. I fear to ask whether it is you, or someone close to you, not even knowing which you may find worse.

Re: Goddamnit.
 

Didn't mean to cause a panic. I promise that if I get a diagnosis I'll break it to the board in a more profound and touching way.

A friend died last night. He leaves behind a wife and three kids, the youngest aged four.

Re: Goddamnit.
 

That does indeed suck.

Re: Goddamnit.
 

i'd invite the socks i don't like to a bar and bomb vest them. but you I'd have a drink with elsewhere before:P

Re: Or grandfather
 

Isn't your kid, like 2?

Re: Goddamnit.
 

Indeed it does.

Always hits the people who deserve it least.

My wife's old boss -- number one nicest guy in the planet -- got hit with it a few years ago. Tragedy beyond all tragedies.

Re: Or grandfather
 

Show me one shred of evidence that Ritalin generally works. Show me some epidemiology. All you will ever here is a little anecdote here or there which mentions that Ritalin, when coupled with behavior modification, helps. And I am not talking about a good day here or there or manageability, I am talking academic success.

Plus there are significant side effects that are known and some that are suspected -- cardiac events, cancer, that make me say:
Fuck
That
Shit

remember: Michael Phelps = no meds.

Re: Goddamnit.
 

FYI, I think he stood me up once.....

Re: Goddamnit.
 

I'm sorry for your loss.

Re: Goddamnit.
 

Me too. Very.

Re: Goddamnit.
 

Thanks.

On a new topic, Eldest Grinch, aged seven, is best friends with a boy in our neighborhood. Same school, same soccer team, same carpool -- the works. Friend's mom just dropped the bombshell that they're thinking of moving to Colorado. Neither boy knows this is a possibility yet. Both will likely be devastated.

Anyone have advice on how to contextualize the news that your best friend in the world is moving away? Should I make unrealistic promises, like "you two can keep up by e-mail" when I know that won't happen, or, if it does, the relationship will turn lopsided?

Re: Goddamnit.
 

the email lie is fine. they will email for a month or so. then he'll move on.

will your son play more on the soccer team with his friend gone? when I moved from tcotu to Detroit, Thurgreed's mom cushioned the blow for him by suggesting that he might make the basketball team after I'd left.

Re: Goddamnit.
 

Email is so 2005.

Facebook.

Re: Goddamnit.
 

I was all about Facebook and Twitter in the 0h-eight, but in 0h-nine, I roll solely on Plurk. See y'all there in a few years.......

Re: Goddamnit.
 

Yes. As the kid who moved away, I can tell you that that is a good idea. Plus, the little guys might surprise you and actually keep in touch -- especially if the friend has family in your neck of the woods that he will visit every year or so.

It sucks, though. No two ways around it. Tell the little Grinch that I feel his pain.

And I feel your pain re your friend -- sorry for your loss.

Re: Goddamnit.
 

You have my sympathies.

Hemorrhagic strokes, suck, too. Friend's husband; 48-year-old man with a wife and 3-year-old daughter.

Re: Goddamnit.
 

So does non-symptomatic death in the middle of the night. And brain aneurisms in 28-year olds. And other death. Maybe we can all live forever. More and more people on the planet, never dying, forever consuming happily ever after.

Re: Goddamnit.
 

Even Ayn Rand would consider it a pity that a wife is suddenly raising three kids by herself, no?

Re: Or grandfather
 

(A) Atticus knows his sister and the niece.

(B) Asking simple questions along the lines Hank proposed would be pretty innocuous and to be expected of any concerned relative of the child.

(C) You are no doubt far too good a parent to put an ordinary, smart, successful teen girl [unless there is a lot going on that Atticus doesn't know about, which he'll find out by asking questions under (B)] on Xanax while noting that a bunch of her friends are already taking it and gosh its great for their mood so it'll help Suzie -- so this whole discussion could never apply to you.

(D) While this is not an extreme case -- a strict policy that no outsiders can or should ever question parental decison-making is a pretty bad idea -- socially, morally, and legally. Of course, if anyone acting without the power of the law behind them wants any intervention to be effective, they have to be pretty delicate in their approach.

S_A_M

Re: Or grandfather
 

No. She's 6. Confident, sweet and well-behaved kid but can't seem to concentrate enough in order to learn letters, phonics, etc. Growth issues another reason why I don't want to try meds (they decrease appetite) besides fear of messing with her chemistry b/c she's so happy and secure.

Re: Goddamnit.
 

First of all, I am so sorry for your loss and I hope your friend's wife has a good support system. On the "best friend moving" thing, is it unrealistic that they'd keep up by e-mail? I would be up front about how it's gonna suck not to have his buddy there all the time but I might soften the blow by seeing if you can pin down a time when they might see eachother again (if possible). Also, I don't know if you're on facebook but I am and I have a few friends on there that moved away from our neighborhood when I was about your boy's age. Obviously, we haven't kept in touch starting from that time but have reconnected. I think I would show Viet Babe examples of kids I still keep in touch with - and pics of them and their kids. At least she'd know that a friend moving away isn't going to mean no contact forever and ever. FWIW, my own parents wanted to move when we were little (just a few towns over) and we badgered my parents so relentlessly that they finally caved in and we stayed in the neighborhood.

Re: Goddamnit.
 

I've refrained from commenting, since I assumed that everybody would chime in with a different answer, and the resulting bucket of advice would be more than adequate. However, it appears that very few people are allowing for the possibility that the friendship can be maintained.

Princess chose Rice largely because of the ties to Houston she developed when we lived there, which at this point, was 12-18 years ago. She still gets together regularly with the friends she made when we lived there. They also got together every couple of years from the time we left, through visits either to Chicago or Houston.

I guess my point is that if the kids really want to maintain ties, as long as their parents are able and willing to support them getting together, then friendships can be maintained at that age, even over a long distance.

Re: Or grandfather
 

Share your concerns. Try running.

Re: Or grandfather
 

Running what? For President? I think that's for the PB.

Re: Or grandfather
 

I wondered about that too, but I think Icky means run the kid. Tire her out, focus becomes easier? Something like that.

Re: Or grandfather
 

Yes. First year of year round swim team is working wonders for focus and discipline.

Re: Goddamnit.
 

The reason I predict the relationship will become lopsided if they're pen pals is that although they are both 7 or so, Friend is a bit behind in reading and writing, while Eldest Grinch is pretty logorrheic. (Surprised, right?) The kid writes little illustrated books for special occasions. It would kill me to see him spend hours writing to Friend and then get a misspelled sentence or two in return.

Then again, that's an important life lesson right there, too. I'm probably being selfish in trying to spare him disappointment. And it's certainly no justification for saying "Eh, don't bother to write" if they do decide to move.

Re: Goddamnit.
 

This is how I feel when Hank responds to my long, thoughtful posts.

Re: Goddamnit.
 

That's why I put him on ignore long ago. Amongst lots of other reasons, as well.

Re: Goddamnit.
 

Yes, because that would spare us the incredible difficulty of having to occasionally express sympathy towards friends when people close to them die -- a challenge so monumental that some people, when faced with it, choose to be assholes instead.

Re: Goddamnit.
 

It's an important lesson and worth trying, if your kids wants to do so.

Maybe he'll realize that the misspelled sentence or two that he gets in return is not an indication that his friend doesn't miss him too, but that it's all his friend is really able to do, lacking your son's talents. It's the thought that counts, and all that.

Sorry to hear about your friend.

Re: Goddamnit.
 

This was perfect. Thank you.

Backpack Child Carriers
 

Anyone have any recommendations? I've been looking at the Kelty FC 2.0.

Re: Backpack Child Carriers
 

These are awesome. I believe the model we have is the stallion.

Re: Backpack Child Carriers
 

Oh, to be young, with a single young child and such ambition. I think I almost remember those times. Stay gold, Ponyboy, stay gold.