Questions from online dating world
 

Gack, that's what I was afraid of. The most recent candidate with this line just sent me an email (no pictures yet) describing his flat stomach, wine collection, and hill-top orchard.

(Not quite that shallow)

PCP
 

Not the Leafs, the Habs.

And apropos of hockey, Mogilny + Lady Byng? I'm sure she is spinning in her grave.

Questions from online dating world
 

I think he means that he boxes. He probably wants to know if you can take a punch before the relationship gets serious. I heard OJ won't date a woman with a glass jaw.

Ok, I noted it on a stickie on my monitor. After how many phone calls is berating your practice area a turn on? What are your other turn ons? Can you take a punch?

Ct(the first jury found me innocent)D

Manor House?
 

It wasn't just the pig's head--it was mentioned a couple of times that Sir John had requested a healthier diet (less fat, more fresh fruits and vegetables) than most wealthy Edwardians would have eaten. It was hard to understand him, but in one of his confessional moments, the chef was going on about how "Sir" John had sent back a dish made with foie gras (!) saying something like, "That's brains! I don't eat brains." The only thing worse than a pompous prick who thinks he deserves to be treated like a price is a pathetic nouveau riche pompous prick who thinks he deserves to be treated like a prince.

tm

P.S. From perusing the Manor House website, I guess Regency House is in the works (Second Footman Rob is apparently working on it).

Questions from online dating world
 

I would have taken great hands to be a veiled reference to penis size (but I may have a one track mind). Great hands = big hands = big package. Of course it may or may not be true. Much like the steriod-enhanced sports car driver.

PCP
 

Good grief, I coulda sworn it was a Leaf. Whoops.

Well, Alex is Not Claude (Lemeiux), but I kind of doubt that anyone on Toronto engages in anything that could be called "gentlemanly play."

Perhaps it's some kind of joke -- isn't he the one whose wife is allegedly sleeping with a teammate?

Questions from online dating world
 

I read somewhere recently that wrist size is a better indicator.

Even(size does matter)Odds

Questions from online dating world
 

I would have taken it to mean that he's handy around the house or good with tools. HA! Maybe he's good at handling that big package. Maybe he should just date himself?
:shrug:

AM(not familiar with online dating conventions either)M

Questions from online dating world
 

If he's also yapping about his appreciation for wine, I think the "great hands" thing is definitely bragging about sexual skills. He's sophisticated and knows that women need more than just having his big dick shoved into them and pumping away -- they need to be stroked, etc. etc.

If he'd said "great with his hands" and talked about living on a ranch or something, I'd think he meant handy around the house.

Will you videotape any date with this pretentious-sounding guy and run it here? With faces appropriately digitally altered, of course.

Questions from online dating world
 

And either he doesn't perform oral sex or he thinks it's crass to say "great tongue."

Questions from online dating world
 

More to the point, what else besides berating can you do to turn me on?

Questions from online dating world
 

I'm having a hard time getting my mind around this subtle distinction of what's "classy" and what's not.

And as to whether I'll provide details of any dates with this guy, absolutely!! But something tells me we won't make it that far.

Questions from online dating world
 

I think this guy sounds like he would be more than willing to give you an in-depth explanation of what's class and what's not.

I was implying that you should date him, not because he's dateable, but for our amusement. Be More Selfless.

A Sign of the Apocalypse?
 

Bobbleheads gone bad.

http://shopimg.eonline.com/Images/Pr...a.doll.160.jpg

If you want/need one they are available at www.eonline.com.

I just don't get the whole Anna Nicole thing.

I had quaint childhood memories of the original nodders. The dogs in the car, the cute, generic, figurines. Now they are everywhere. I'm off to search for a site for "make your own bobbleheads", they woudl make great cake toppers for my brother's upcoming nuptials.

Yes, he would get the joke.

-----------------------
That was easy surfing. Only $1000 for one bobblehead.
http://www.adalternatives.com/produc...ad_pricing.htm

Questions from online dating world
 

I think that is something my Korean secretary does to her boyfriend.

Why our troops' morale was so high.
 

Some of our men and women in uniform made sure that they would be as loose and tension-free as possible. Online orders of adult merchandise from American military personnel abroad surged before and during the war in Iraq.

Good thing they weren't serving in Alabama.

Older Woman/High School Boys Story, Version XIX
 

Upon reading about these two thirtysomething women having booze and sex parties with 13 year olds - http://www.palmbeachpost.com/localne...a210c00dc.html - I was going to express mycontinuing disappointment that shit like that never happened at my high school, but then I saw their mug shots - http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/twogals1.html

Older Woman/High School Boys Story, Version XIX
 

The blonde kind of reminds me of the hooker in Fargo.

AM("So you had sex with the little fella?")M

Styx
 

I was browsing at "Organized Living" tonight, when "Mr. Roboto" came on the P.A. system (after dining across the way from David Spade and Julie Bowen at 'Madame Wu's at the Grove'). Question: Why is it that when he sings, "I am the modern man," Dennis DeYoung pronounces it, "I am the mod-ron man?" Where does Kilroy Was Here rank among the great concept albums in rock history?

str8.

Long Delayed Coachella Review
 

Saturday
Because of a partner (who will remain anonymous until he gets wacked), I miss the following groups: the Donnas, NERD, and some others that I don't care about.

The Hives keep my interest for a little while, mostly to see if the fat bass player clad in black will make it through the set without keeling over from heat stroke. I decide to walk to the next stage.

Kinky is moving a small crowd (which is no mean feat when it's near 90 degrees). They're a Latin rock dance band. I'd listen longer, but I'm far too tired to dance, and the sound is (unintentionally?) distorted.

I visit the DJ tent for the first and only time of the day. Felix da Housecat has convinced a number of people that its 1985. They all seem glad of it. This seems to be the largest crowd in the DJ tent of the day. I declare him the winner.

I've seen Badly Drawn Boy in concert before. For some reason, he's wearing a knit cap in a crowded tent in the desert. His pre-song banter seems designed to make the crowd smaller, so I trudge off. Buy the album, skip the live show.

Peanut Butter Wolf's crew has a small audience in the Rap tent. This tent has the smallest audences for the weekend.

I've seen Blur before, and I watch them for a while before negotiating the Food Court. (Try the Indian food.) All of the groups just seem to be making time for the main acts of the night.

Queens of the Stone Age take the main stage. They play "No One Knows" fairly early in their set. It's a catchy single, but most of their stuff is 10 times harder. Even with earplugs, I'm moving on.

Talib Kweli and the Black Eyed Peas both have decent sets, but I'm not putting my hands in the air or waving them like I just don't care until you get the rest of the crowd into it. Both seem unable to do so, so I get restless.

Ladytron was one of those overhyped electoclash groups that I wanted to see before the hype ended. The tent seemed to have more people like me (interested but wary) rather than true fans. sample lyric: "They only want you when you're 17, when you're 21, you're no fun." Of course, it's "sang" in a deadpan manner. Two things redeemed Ladytron. First, they had some video playing on the monitor that seemed to portray a dance contest in the classroom of a German all-girls school. Second, the ladies of Ladytron proved that they had a sense of humor and were willing to actually care about a song by covering Tweet's "Oops, (Oh my)." Don't bother with the album, but Ladytron doesn't suck.

I see part of Ben Harper's set, but notice the swarm of people going to the second stage. Before the concert, I wondered aloud to a friend why Blue Man Group was the only act to play both nights, and why they were on the bill at all. I was pleasantly surprised. They had the most elaborate production of the night, with a video monitor, elaborate lighting, a full backing band, and the usual cluster of found percussion. They brought Tracy Bonham along to sing lead on a few songs. The concept of having the audience perform standard rock concert moves "Number 1: the one-armed fist pump" was a nice comment on the whole festival thing. Plus, they got the crowd into their set, and they actually rocked.

One tent was drastially behind schedule because of technical problems, so I started watching the Beastie Boys while waiting for Groove Armada. Str8 was right...the set was uninspired, though I liked the DJ intro (no one else seemed to care much). After a couple of songs, I went across the Polo Fields to see Groove Armada. I noticed that a handful of people were watching Gomez. Groove Armada started with a bunch of down-tempo numbers with a crowd that was hoping to shake their asses to the "I see you baby" song. They should have changed their set to accomodate them, especially since their set got cut because of the technical problems.

The Winner of the First Night was Queens of the Stone Age. While Beastie Boys had the largest audience by far, they were a disappointment.

I'll save Sunday for a separate post.

Long-Delayed Coachella Review
 

Sunday
Again, I'm late. This tme because I finally could get some sleep after the Saturday show. Groups I wish I hadn't missed: Tortoise, Ben Folds, the Polyphonic Spree. Questions I would have liked answered, "If Dirty Vegas had an hour set, did that mean they played a one-hour remix of "Days Go By"?"

Jack Johnson was busy entrancing the ladies in the audience with his set. He's married to a tall blonde, so the supersized masses should stick to fantasy.

The White Stripes had the set of the weekend. There's was the only set where I had no desire to check out another act, or see if something better was on later. If for some reason I forgot that their set was awesome, there was always some woman a few feet behind me who was happy to shout "This is fucking awesome!" or "That was fucking awesome!" after each song so I wouldn't forget how fucking awesome it was. I also liked the Fred Durst wannabe who wanted me to move so he could get a better view. I was cranky enough without needing his scorn. Luckily, there was a big wave of people rushng the stage, so I was pushed away from him and closer to Jack and Meg.

Jack had two mics set up: one facing the crowd, and another by the drum kit, facing Meg. He'd switch from one to another during a song.

Let's focus on Meg for a while. Str8 mentioned that she's not a technically proficient drummer. Some would consider that a polite way of saying that she sucks, but she doesn't. In fact, Jack built the set up to a call-and-response climax with Meg where I was convinced that she was a great drummer (even though she isn't). Meg also got a big crowd response when she sang "In the Cold Cold Night." I have a theory about this.

Meg White is the apotheosis of the hipster chick. Consider the facts. While she has the musical chops and singing voice of an amateur, she's in one of the most heralded bands of the past 10 years. Not only has she been with the lead singer of the band, he changed his last name to hers, and he formed a band with her knowing that she lacked professional musical ability. It's a hipster chick's dream come true. I have no talent, yet I'm in the band. I've been with the singer/guitarist, but that's all in the past so I can just brag about it, instead of living with it. That's why women like Meg so much. They want to be her.

Anyway, we've covered the White Stripes rule ground before in this forum, so if they come to your town, just see them and rejoice. After their set ended, I wanted to see the last of Thievery Corporation, who were doing a live set. Unfortunately, the live set focused on the reggae influences of the duo. I had no interest in seeing a reggae set, so I wandered off.

Johnny Marr and the Healers had a set in one of the smaller tents, but I just couldn't get into them. He's a terrifically underrated guitarist, but his new album and band are nothing to get excited about. As I mentioned before, G. Love and Special Sauce had an enthusiastic, overflow crowd.

Iggy and the Stooges had a great set, though I did watch part of the Blue Man Group set to see what I had missed from last nght. They did credible covers of Venus Hum (that 70's disco "I feel Loooooove" song), White Rabbit, and Teenage Wasteland.

I'm not a big RHCP fan, so I only listened to a few of their songs before drifting off to the second stage for Interpol. Interpol had a sizeable crowd patiently waiting for them to come to the stage even after the Chili Peppers had started. (Compare them to Gomez who had an audience that might have consisted solely of family members.) I'd like to know if any Interpol fans are not fans of Joy Division. The lead singer's voice is a dead ringer for Ian Curtis. After their first song got the crowd interested, they spent the next couple of minutes tuning their guitars. I listened to a few more songs (and tunings) before heading to the tent to see Fischerspooner.

I saw Fischerspooner for the same reason I saw Ladytron: just to see what all of the fuss was about. When I got to the stage, I saw two women wearing what appeared to be black-and-white prom dresses imitating Deborah Iyall from Romeo Void. One of the women was large, the other was smaller, and both seemed to have Kabuki makeup. There was a cadre of female dancers, and then there was Casey Fischer urging everyone in the audience to applaud the dancers. Like a low-rent Madonna performance, there were costume changes, only Casey did his onstage. As the dancers showed up in white T-shirts with black fishnet stockings, Warren Fischer came on the intercom to tell Casey that the set was coming to an end, so they'd have to do "Emerge," but Casey could stop it if he wasn't happy with it. Casey then told the audience that they would all have to sing the "fucking pop phenomenon" at the top of their lungs, otherwise he'd stop the show. True to form, after 3 lines, Casey stopped the music, told a heckler at the front of the stage that he'd kick his ass, wondered aloud if he could get the RHCP and Interpol to turn their music down because "there's nothing subversive about a guitar," and then resumed. In the end, there was confetti for everyone, a Casey Fischer stripped down to black bikini underwear for 10% of the audience, and their one-hit wonder status was secure. I think the guy standing next to me said it best, "He has the look of Marilyn Manson and the attitude of a Jazzercise instructor."

And that was Coachella.

Tourney Rankings
1. The White Stripes
2. Iggy & The Stooges
3. Blue Man Group

Honorable Mention: Queens of the Stone Age
Most Disappointing: Beastie Boys

Bags for Work (and Play)
 

I'm trying to decide which of the FB metrosexuals would be good candidates for the Helmut Lang ManBag:

http://216.33.240.250/cgi-bin/linkrd...30%2c00%2ehtml

Can't recommend the Timbuk bags highly enough. You can custom-design your own in a slew of smashing colors and have many spiffy accessories, plus they are absolutely weatherproof.

p(love mine)j

An X2 Movie Review
 

I highly recommend this movie.

X2 was wonderful -- far superior to the first movie.

I have a mild crush on Alan Cummings.

Even(eagerly awaiting the Matrix Reloaded)Odds

An X2 Movie Review
 

They absolutely nailed Nightcrawler. It's as if he teleported straight from the pages of one of the books. The opening sequence is amazing, and reiterates how much I'd love to be able to teleport.

Halle Berry still bugs me as Storm, but otherwise, I thought it was a very well done movie.

That Matrix trailer was awesome, as was the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (check out that comic book if you have the chance, pretty cool book).

R(comic geek)T

Austin City Limits Music Festival
 

Though decidely less hip and glam than Coachella and Field Day, tickets have just gone on sale for the 2nd annual ACL Music Fest.

We went last year and it was great, if unbearably hot.

Acts announced so far include: R.E.M., Al Green, Lucinda Williams, Rosanne Cash, Mavis Staples, Liz Phair, Ben Harper, Jack Johnson, String Cheese Incident, Patty Griffin, Alejandro Escovedo, Leftover Salmon, Topaz, the Derailers, Richard Buckner, the Gourds, Robert Randolph, Ween, G. Love & Special Sauce, Spoon, Galactic, O.A.R., Gomez, Doyle Bramhall, Ian Moore, Beth Orton, Beta Band, Old 97's, Abra Moore, Ben Kweller, and the Shins, Asleep At The Wheel, Los Lobos, the String Cheese Incident, Nickel Creek, and Pat Green. More artists will be announced in the coming months.

Article from Billboard: http://www.billboard.com/bb/daily/ar...ent_id=1875872

An X2 Movie Review
 

I don't like Halle as Storm either. I can't think of who would be good for her, but it's not Halle. They should've made X-men 10 years ago, but here are my choices for future X-Men

Collossus--Okay, for years I have been saying Arnold--Austrian Accent sounds like Russian and He is muscular--but he is getting a Little Old. So maybe Dolph Lundgren.

Nightcrawler--shoulda' gotten a male gymnast. Didn't see X2 yet, but nightcrawler is short and very acrobatic and I would rather see someone do it for real than watch CGIs. Someone like the guy in gymkata.

Kitty---should be Anna Paquin (she should not be Rogue)

Blob---Butterbean, the boxer

Juggernaut--the Rock or Stone Cold

Perfect Casting--Professor X and Magneto.

Ouch!!!!!!
 

As quickly and painlessly as possible?

Thurgreed(which would mean not with a pen knife)Marshall

Austin City Limits Music Festival
 

Asleep At The Wheel still exists?

Damn.

(But they were good, once upon a time.)

New Yahoo Game Obsession
 

Having survived the Collapse and Diamond Mine crazes, my latest weakness is called Text Twist. Just thought I would share...

http://games.yahoo.com/games/downloads/tx.html

n(you can thank me later)cs

An X2 Movie Review
 

I thought X2 was pretty good. Magneto kicks ass on screen just as he did in the comic book. I don't understand why he needs a helicopter when he can fly, though.

They nailed Wolverine. I can't imagine anyone other than Huge Ackman playing him, even if he IS too tall.

Famke is hot. I saw her when I went to see Topdog Underdog (back when Jeffrey Wright was still in it). She's done a good job as Jean Grey and the next movie will be hers as Phoenix/Dark Phoenix. I was disappointed to hear her on The Daily Show say that she hasn't decided if she'll do the next one yet. Could be a ploy to put her in better bargaining position.

The guy who plays Cyclops is perfect. Boring, just as he was in the comic.

I wish they had put Colossus in the group earlier. I always liked that big Russian.

I agree with you about Storm, but it's not Halle's fault. They don't have a good read on the character and don't make her as kick ass as she really is.

Thurgreed(The Matrix is not a movie. It is an event.)Marshall

An X2 Movie Review
 

I hated The Matrix when I finally saw it. I'm not sure if it was because the movie was overhyped, I was in a bad mood, or if I honestly just don't like that kind of movie. To me it was simply dark and boring. What did I miss? Is it just that the "special effects" are supposed to be so spectacular? Because if that's it, I won't bother with the next one.

I also hate all of the Star Wars crap (which I saw for the first time recently). Boring. Don't even get me started on what a waste of time the Lord of the Rings was to me. Saw that at a Cinema Cafe and all the beer in the world couldn't make it watchable for me. So if the answer to what is so awesome about the Matrix is anything like what is so "awesome" about Star Wars or Lord of the Rings, let me know that too and I will skip it.

An X2 Movie Review
 

Agreed. I knew that they nailed that character when I wanted to bitchslap him. Scott Summers irritates the hell out of me. Why Jean Grey chose him over Wolverine, I'll never know.

An X2 Movie Review
 

No. It was the Oscar-caliber performance of Keanu Reeves.

Mmmm(Wo-ah)Burger

The only way to fly
 

Can't decide what to pack for vacation? No problem - just take the All-Nude Cancun trip.

(Nudity starts as you board the plane in Miami. No hot coffee served on the flight, of course.)

An X2 Movie Review
 

Tasteless barbarian.

On topic(s)
 

http://www.cnn.com/2003/WORLD/meast/...eut/index.html

[Spree - An Israeli policeman responding to neighbors' complaints about a rowdy all-female party received an unexpected welcome at the door when revellers mistook him for a stripper and began to take off his clothes and stroke him.]

TM

An X2 Movie Review
 

This surprises me. I find him utterly unbearable. Have you liked his other performances?

An X2 Movie Review
 

Stick with "What a Girl Wants."

TM

An X2 Movie Review
 

Slate has an article about why this movie is so popular:

"It's Harry Potter with guns"

"The Matrix is a sci-fi John Hughes movie, in which a misfit learns that he's actually cool."

Masturbate-A-Thon
 

Annual event: http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmp...c&e=2&ncid=757

[Spree: Article re: annual get-together-and-masturbate fundraiser!]

"Too bad you couldn't do *that* for a living... You'd be very successful at it. You could sell out Madison Square Garden. Thousands of people could watch you. You could be a big star!"