Two of my favorite passages in a news article this week:
[list=1][*]We're back at the pool, where I meet Wayne, the genteel, well-groomed leader of Healthy Hides of Houston, a social organization that boasts 90 members. I'm distracted by a tall, bulbous man in his sixties who walks by me. His belly seems to have an additional spare tire. White hair dots his back. Each cheek of his desktop-flat ass ripples like a flag of surrender in a war movie. He bears a large terrible tan line; it's so expansive, it looks like he's been sitting in a pool of thick white paint. His breasts point sadly to his knees. This man should never be naked -- not even when he's bathing. And yet he strolls around poolside like he owns this place -- and he does so confidently, nonchalantly and happily. This is his turf and he's here to work on his (dining table-size) tan line. There is one beautiful, well-built couple here, so I just can't understand why I looked at tan-line guy in the first place.
[*]"Oh, everybody takes in the full picture once. Once," says Marianne in passing. "That's just human nature. But not after that. I mean, that's just not what this is about."
"Well, of course I look," says Jim, a gay father of six adopted children (who are all here and all nude). "I look at men's...endowments. I think 'Oh, wow' or 'Oh, that poor, dear man.' But yes, I notice, at least once. I still remember when I first saw him. That man has the largest penis I've ever seen." Jim points to a well-built man in a baseball hat and sunglasses standing nearby. The man's appendage hangs nearly to his kneecaps. Heck, it's the longest penis I've ever seen.
All this penis talk raises an inevitable question: "What about erections?" I ask. "I mean, you figure with all these guys..."
"I've only seen one, and the guy apologized profusely," says Marianne. Slim fesses up. "I've discovered that I can't slow-dance naked with my wife," he says. "I've done it with other women -- nothing. But with Lucille, it's trouble."
I also can't help but notice that in apparent contradiction to the natural approach, pubic hair is, well, showing up missing. Nearly every woman who walks by is completely shaved or has a tiny landing strip. Same with the younger guys. I'm starting to wonder if I'm breaking some sort of nudist etiquette.[/list=1]
(spree: intrepid reporter visits nudist camp, sfw)
