An X2 Movie Review
 

I am a Matrix fan, but I read a funny quote from somewhere or other describing the upcoming Matrix Reloaded. It went something like "Also upcoming this summer is the Matrix Reloaded, and once again the fate of the world rests with Keanu Reeves."

What exactly explains the appeal of Keanu Reeves (apart from being sort of hot and 1/2 Canadian, the appeal of which pretty much goes without saying)?

An X2 Movie Review
 

He was perfectly cast for the first one, which required him to walk around looking confused. Not a stretch. I think the next one will overwhelm and distract you with special effects such that he doesn't get the opportunity to ruin the movie with his participation in any dialogue.

TM

An X2 Movie Review
 

It's rare that an actor can consistently bring such outstanding intellectualism to his portrayals.

Like, hey, man, uh . . .

An X2 Movie Review
 

The best description of him in the first one was from the Oracle: "Not too bright, though." Perfect.

An X2 Movie Review
 

Some, yes. He's a terrific actor who has been cast mostly in campy big budget roles.

See X2 and tell me there is not something wonderful happening in him.

An X2 Movie Review
 

His appeal to me is similar to Kevin Costner's -- properly cast, he's hot (major feature) and having little affect or acting ability can seem laconic and mysterious.

In their places, nothing wrong with Matrix, Harry Potter, or John Hughes films.

An X2 Movie Review
 

Are we all forgetting his seminal role in Point Break? He really held his own on screen against those dramatic powerhouses Patrick Swayze and Lori Petty.

Even(love that movie)Odds

An X2 Movie Review
 

Absolutely. And Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure is a classic in its own right.

San Dimas Highschool football rules!!

Austin City Limits Music Festival
 

I just love that String Cheese Incident gets mentioned twice. Either the author is a fan, or . . . um . . . hey, maybe the author's a fan of theirs or something. Righteous!

Austin City Limits Music Festival
 

Nope. I cobbled together two different lists from the article, so the error is all mine.

They suck, by the way.

An X2 Movie Review
 

My list of great bad movies includes TWO Keanu flicks. These are movies that are inherently bad, but I always have to watch them for their unintentional comedy. Here's the list:

(1) "Roadhouse" (above and beyond ALL others. This is the "Citizen Kane" of this list. Dalton has a Ph.D for god's sake.)
(2) "Cobra" (Marion Cobretti? Does a name get better than that? "I don't shop here." That line makes me laugh out loud every time I think about it)
(3) "Stone Cold" with Brian Bosworth (Did I mention that Brian Bosworth stars in this?)
(4) "Point Break" ("Utah! Two!")
(5) "Varsity Blues" (watching Van Der Beek do ANYTHING is funny).

Road House
 

Coltrane: If you don't already have it, pick up "Mega Movie Cheese" written by Mike Nelson (of Mystery Science Theater fame). He holds Roadhouse up as the standard by which all crappy movies are judged.

An X2 Movie Review
 

I agree with Roadhouse, haven't seen the others but I submit for your consideration, Passenger 57. Wesley Snipes on the phone/intercom with the hijacker, asking if he's a gambling man (roulette), "Always bet on black". (Hangs up the handset dramatically.) Wonderful stuff.

May 29, the race is on
 

http://www.cbs.com/primetime/amazing_race4/ (spree: Amazing Race teams announced, page launched, there is a team that is described as "Dating 12 Years / Virgins")

New Yahoo Game Obsession
 

I could be mistaken, but didn't Thurgreed recommend this game on the old Board several months ago?

aV

An X2 Movie Review
 

Three of the greatest movies of all time. I own two of them on DVD.

notCharlie("you give 'em a percoset, some vicodin, a couple beers and the panties drop. It's NICE!!!)Tweeder

May 29, the race is on
 

I hate them already.

The only way to fly
 

Think of the savings in reduced security. No hiding any weapons on that plane.

An X2 Movie Review
 

How can you omit "Speed" from the list. One of my favorite bad movies:
He's very hot, but no real dialogue to mess up (Dennis Hopper had all the bad dialogue)- although I was hoping Sandra Bullock would get blown up.

White Stripes
 

Ok. I listened to this cd from start to finish the other day. They're an interesting band, but the hype is unwarranted. I think everyone is in love with the idea of the stripped down, back to roots recording. I don't think I could remember a single song after I put down the headphones though. Maybe it grows on you aftre repeated listening.

White Stripes
 

You may have missed the discussion here, but I said almost the exact same thing about two weeks ago. On the other hand, The Air Near My Fingers made it onto a mix I was working on this weekend for a friend.

New Yahoo Game Obsession
 

Really, ncs, do try to keep up.

r(dynomite!)p

An X2 Movie Review
 

But he did that bit in I Love You To Death with William Hurt. I nearly bust a gut at the two of them because I hadn't thought Keanu could act more like he'd been dropped on his head repeatedly than he usually did, but I was wrong, so wrong.

The only way to fly
 

Thomas Friedman of the NYT had a similar thought post 9/11. He nicknamed the idea "Naked Air."

The only way to fly
 

Of course, passengers who have been to prison are well aware of methods of hidings things sans clothes...


Keyster it!

An X2 Movie Review
 

Speed doesn't make you laugh. Roadhouse is constant comedy. The lead character is a NATIONALLY known bouncer, or more specifically, "cooler".

New Yahoo Game Obsession
 

If so, props to TM. I am addicted at the moment. In other news, the naked tours to Cancun thing was discussed on the old vacations board. I was going to point it out earlier, but felt kind of Timmy-ish for bringing it up. Also I was afraid that maybe Bilmore knew that at one time and it was just the alzheimers talking. ;)

n(have tix to Austin City Limits show)cs

The only way to fly
 

Am I the only one squicked out by the possibility of sitting in the altogether in a seat some total stranger has just nestled their (he- or she-) package in for several hours? Or, given the astroturf-quality of most airplane seat upholstery, concerned for the carpet-burns these poor nudists will likely suffer?


p(wishing them all a lovely time and an unrepulsive seatmate, though)j

The only way to fly
 

As good a time as any to recall this brilliant moment in cinema:


http://fusionanomaly.net/pulpfictionwatchuphisass.jpg

"Hey there, little man. Boy, I've sure heard a bunch about you. See, I was a good friend of your dad's. We were in that Hanoi pit of hell together for five years. Hopefully, you'll never have to experience this yourself. But when two men are in a situation like me and your dad were for as long as we were, you take on certain responsibilities of the other. If it had been me who had . . .oh man, Major Coolidge would be talking right now to my son... Jim. The way it turned out, I'm talking to you.

"Butch, I've got something for you. This watch I've got here, was first purchased by your great-grandfather during the first World War. It was bought in a little general store in Knoxville, Tennessee, made by the fist company to ever make wristwatches. Up 'til then, people just carried pocket watches. It was bought by Private doughboy Urian Coolidge on the day he set sail for Paris. This was your great-grandfathers's war watch, and he wore it every day he was in that war. When he'd done his duty, he went home to your great-grandmother, took the watch off, put it in an old coffee can, and in that can it stayed.

"Until your grandad, Dane Coolidge, was called upon by his country to go overseas and fight. The Germans once again and this time they called it World War II. Your great-grandfather gave this watch to your granddad for good luck. Unfortunately, Dane's luck wasn't as good as his old man's. Dane was a Marine and he was killed, along with all the other Marines, in the Battle of Wake Island. Granddad was facing death; he knew it. None of those boys had any illusions about leaving that island alive.

"So, three days before the Japanese took the island, your granddad asked a gunner from the airport transfer, named Winaki, a man he'd never met before in his life, to deliver to his infant son, who he'd never seen in the flesh, this gold watch. Three days later, your granddad was dead, but Winaki kept his word. After the war was over, he paid a visit to your grandmother, delivering to your infant his gold watch.

"This watch . . . this watch was on your daddy's wrist when he was shot down over Hanoi. He was captured and put in a Vietnamese prison camp. He knew that if the gooks ever saw the watch, they would confiscate it. You see, in a way, the way your dad looked at it, this watch was your birthright. He'd be damned
if any slopes were gonna put their greasy little yellow hands on his boy's birthright.

"So he hid it, in the only place he could hide something: his ass. Five long years he wore this watch up his ass. When he died Dysentary, he gave me the watch. I hid this uncomfortable hunk of metal up my ass two years. After seven years, I was sent home to my family. Little man, I give the watch to you."

[DING!!!]

White Stripes
 

You Have No Faith in Medicine is the best three minute single since Cinnamon Girl.

Listen to the Elephant about five or six times and you'll find the record infectious. Its the sort of record that should suck, but comes back again and again sounding even better - kinda like Back in Black.

Most of the reason people say the record isn't great is because critics overhyped it before release. This disc ain't Kentucky in this year's NCAAs - its the real deal.

New Yahoo Game Obsession
 

What "old board"?

(Just from a personal hygiene point of view, I hope they really clean those seats afterwards, considering normal bodily-fluids issues.)

New Yahoo Game Obsession
 

It has to be a byo towel situation.

Otherwise, they can rename it STD air and give adulterers the best possible excuse: "no, really, I caught it from a seat cushion."

Bored Board Poll
 

Overrated! So many things. From actors to food. I want to know what you find overrated. I've selected a few categories to which you can respond, but welcome others as well.

What/who is the most overrated:

1. Food?
2. Actor?
3. Band or Singer?
4. Law firm?
5. Occupation?
6. Movie?
7. Song?
8. TV Show (Reality or otherwise)?
9. Article of clothing?
10. Sexual position or activity?

Please share reasons for each.

Mine:

1. Food? Lobster. What is the big fucking deal? It's okay, but I defy you to name a main course food served with a bowl of butter for dippin' that wouldn't taste good.

2. Actor? Ralph Fiennes. Yeah, your name is Ralph and you need to get over yourself. Just because you think you're a great actor and insert yourself in Shakespearean roles doesn't necessarily make you a fine actor.

Honorable mention: George Hamilton. What is he famous for other than being tan?

3. Band or Singer? Mariah Carey. Yes, she has a tremendous voice. But shouldn't the quality of your songs have something to do with how highly you're regarded? Stick those butterflies up your ass already. (I was going to call her fat, but her body looks damn good in whatever shitty video she is currently in.)

4. Law firm? Wachtell. Enough already. Haven't met a lawyer from there who wasn't completely full of himself and who thought they automatically knew more about everything just because they work at Wachtell. In fact, the one I know well gave me his oh-so-highly-regarded opinion and analysis on a deal and it turned out to be so fucking wrong and stupid that he should have been forced to give me 10% of that fat ass bonus they get every year.

5. Occupation? Um, attorney. Anyone want to give me reasons why this shouldn't be the answer?

6. Movie? Citizen Kane. Greatest movie ever? I don't think so.

7. Song? Freebird. Even though it is now used primarily as a joke whenever anyone asks for a request, even the joke is overrated.

8. TV Show (Reality or otherwise)? Reality? Bachelor. Can't watch it. Can't. Won't. And you can't make me.

Regular show?: Sopranos. Why not just watch a fucking daytime soap? What's the difference now?

9. Article of clothing or accessory? Men: watch. Women: purse. A nice watch should be understated and simple. No diamonds, no extra flash. Therefore, it should go largely unnoticed. Therefore, it's really not that important. They all tell time with pretty much the same accuracy, so stop spending thousands of dollars on your watch.

Women: Purses. It's a bag to carry all of your useless crap in. Who cares if it matches every single outfit in your closet? Pick a neutral color and a conservative size and shape and shut the fuck up.

10. Sexual position or activity? Bondage. What's the big deal about it that can't be accomplished with a firm, "Don't touch me or move until I tell you to"?

Thurgreed(<--- poster)Marshall

Bored Board Poll
 

[QUOTE]Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
What/who is the most overrated:

1. Food?
2. Actor?
3. Band or Singer?
4. Law firm?
5. Occupation?
6. Movie?
7. Song?
8. TV Show (Reality or otherwise)?
9. Article of clothing?
10. Sexual position or activity?

Please share reasons for each.[QUOTE]

Food: Butter. I hate it.
Actor: Meg Ryan. I hate her.
Band or Singer: P. Diddy. I hate him.
Law firm: The Ally McBeal Firm. I hate it.
Occupation: Financial planners. I hate them.
Movie: Dumb and Dumber. I hate it.
Song: My Shirona. I hate it.
TV Show: Home Improvement. I hate it.
Article of clothing: Nylons. I hate them.
Sexual position or activity: Shower or tub.

Bored Board Poll
 

1. Those coffee beans that get eaten by the bean picking monkeys and then shat out before they are sold. $47/lb for monkey ass coffee?
2. All of them except Sean Connery. I can't tell who any of the rest of these kids are anyway.
3. Any of these rock bands that rap. Makes me want to slit my wrists to hear this combo crap. If I want to hear rap music, I'll listen to it.
4. Ditto on the Wachtell. In my two encounters with them, they have affirmatively sucked.
5. Lawyer.
6. Fuck The Birds and anything else in B/W. We have technology, use it.
7. Happy Birthday. I know it's my birthday, quit singing to me because you suck.
8. Real World/Road Rules Challenge. These people are fucking idiots. I had enough of them the first time around.
9. Nobody ever thought to themself. "Boy, I'll bet it would be handy to have a piece of silk dangling down in my way". Clearly the neck tie.
10. Pool boy on top [of my wife]. I hate that one.

Bored Board Poll
 

Overrated singer: Celine Dion - get over yourself already. I have to change the channel whenever those car commercials come on.

Food: gotta agree with lobster, caviar runs a close second -what is so great about something salty that you need to eat covered in onions and sour cream -other than to say you just ate something worth $100 for 1/2 gram.

TV - reality TV in general and, at the risk of being flamed, Buffy the Vampire Slayer - watched it once, never again.

White Stripes
 

Actually, the reason I say it isn't great because (1) when it heads in the same direction as "De Stijl" and "White Blood Cells" - both of which I had long before the media made me wish I didn't - it's more of the same 'ol great stuff, but (2) when it tries to invade new turf, its like "ho-hum. next"

I will grant you this. Black Math has the one of the best-ever Tony Iommi riffs not heard on a Black Sabbath album. Then again, it could have been recorded by Iommi on "Tyr", "Eternal Idol" or "Headless Cross." Even I didn't buy those releases.

not7yS

Bored Board Poll
 

1. Food: Lobster. It's rubbery. Crab, OTOH, is a whole different story.

2. Actor: Helen Hunt. Close second: Ben Affleck (not overrated for his acting, but for his general appeal).

3. Band: Dave Matthews Band. Is an explanation really necessary?

4. Law Firm: No comment.

5. Occupation: Yeah, lawyer.

6. Movie: Agree on Citizen Kane. Close second: The Deer Hunter.

7. Song: That Carlos Santana song with that guy from that band. And let's forget about it.

8. TV Show: CSI. Unwatchable (schwoomp).

9. Article of Clothing: Sacrilege, I know, but the thong. There are far too many hideous flabby asses with intentional wedgies out there on the mean streets, and it should be stopped. Panty lines are the least of these womens' problems. They might find their thongs comfortable, but the rest of the population surely does not.

10. Sexual position: Doggie style (yes, really). Other positions are more stimulating and more comfortable, and if you've made it into my bed it's a safe bet that I like looking at you. Plus, I'm not Canadian, NTTAWWT.

Bored Board Poll
 

1. Food? Caviar. It's disgusting. Put down that fussy little mother-of-pearl spoon and admit that it's gross.
2. Actor? John Malkovich. All right already, you're malevolent.
3. Band or Singer? Shakira. She's got a really mobile ass and all, but what's the fuss otherwise?
4. Law firm? Most any one that charges $200 an hour for a know-nothing new lawyer who's really worth less than a decent paralegal.
5. Occupation? First Lady. The hell with the power behind the throne--the throne is what really counts.
6. Movie? Star Wars Episode 4. Horrid.
7. Song? "Here Comes the Bride." It was written as a joke. I cringe whenever I hear it at a wedding.
8. TV Show (Reality or otherwise)? Friends. It has sucked for years. And anytime they introduce a baby into a TV series they might as well just cancel it.
9. Article of clothing? Men: take off that goddamn baseball cap when you're eating dinner in a restaurant or I'll knock it off with a bat. Women: stilettos. Too high and you get an ungainly walk. Thurgreed is wrong on bags--even with neutrals you need some choice or you might as well concede half your outfits will look wrong.
10. Sexual position or activity? Each to her own on that one. But anything involving a drunk person is likely an utter waste of time.

Bored Board Poll
 

Tasteless barbarian.