LawTalkers - Fashionistas you have arrived 3-25-03

Originally posted by purse junkie
Or, the storks could simply share the sidewalk on rainy days, and move slightly to one side instead of insisting on walking exactly in the middle. Otherwise, they deserve to be gouged in the face with umbrellas.

And don't give me any crap please--I just wear Gore-Tex instead.

I am a Kraut and have very strict sensibilities when it comes to sidewalk space. I pass left, stroll right and never hover center. Just think how efficient the sidewalks would be if everyone moved like me.

Jesus_Just_Left_Chicago

08-04-2003 04:00 PM

How Would Jesus Park?

Quote:

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
My favorite is the Jesus Fish getting eaten by the larger fish with "Darwin" on it...

Why so much hate my son? Its attitudes like yours that form the foundation of the answer to the question that so many ask me, to wit, 'Jesus, why did you leave Chicago?'

Your anger aside, Jesus will prayer for your sole.

paigowprincess

08-04-2003 04:00 PM

BreastDay

Quote:

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
That's why I was trying to change the subject. I felt guilty. I guess I could have changed the SUBJECT LINE instead.

GF

Plus I would honestly rather discuss TITS.

Jesus, you are impossible to flirt with. Except for that teensy ray of hope that the gal is just a GF and not an SO.

Aloha Mr. Learned Hand

08-04-2003 04:02 PM

Timmy on Law Enforcement

Quote:

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
I kind of fancy the "I'm Changing the Climate -- Ask Me How!" bumperstickers the guerrilla enviromentalists are using. I think everybody should immediately start sticking them on mega-SUVs in mall parking lots across America.*

*This statement should not be interpreted as advocating the defacing of private property to make political statements.

Of course, the activists conveniently ignore that the material the sticker is made of is likely non-biodegradable, and probably uses some form of chemical adhesive to affix said sticker to the bumper. They also apparently don't concern themselves with the fact that the vehicle's owner will likely employ some chemical in removing said sticker... After all, why let rational thought get in the way of making a statement.

purse junkie

08-04-2003 04:02 PM

Timmy on Law Enforcement

Quote:

Originally posted by SlaveNoMore
The glee I would derive from beating senseless any granola brazen enough to put a sticker like that on my vehicle is almost enough to make me consider an H2.

My only dilemma would be whether to use the tire iron, the baseball bat, the chainsaw, or - a la Bruce Willis - the sword.

not7yS

Well, I suppose if you really wanted to piss them off, you would use the tool that's made from an innocent tree that's been slaughtered in its prime....

but frankly, I'm with the granolas on this one. SUVs are a colossal pain in the ass for everybody except their drivers.

Anne Elk

08-04-2003 04:02 PM

How Would Jesus Park?

Quote:

Originally posted by mmm3587
First of all, a Jeep Grand Cherokee is not so big that it can't (even though is shouldn't) be parked in the "compact car" space, but the Jeep in question is always parked skewed with respect to the lines, so that there is enough space on the driver's side, and would be enough space on the other side but for the inept parking.

I believe this behavior (skewed parking) started with IROC* owners in the malls of New Jersey. At least it was very common in my neck of the woods. You could usually spot the driver by their mullett or feathered hair.

Having recently gone from a tiny car to an SUV, I can honestly say that there is no way I'd ever go back. I loved the mileage, ease of parking, and speedy pick up of my Honda Del Sol, but the space, comfort and visibility of the Jeep Grand Cherokee outweighs the increase in my fuel bill. I never park any vehicle skewed.

Anne

*Substitute any guido car (280Z, Mustang, Camaro, Corvette).

bilmore

08-04-2003 04:03 PM

True Confessions

Quote:

Originally posted by ThrashersFan
I was thinking Cadillac DeVille with gold "skates."

I'm starting to wonder if there aren't three of us with the same car.

(No, not the PA or the DV.)

mmm3587

08-04-2003 04:03 PM

Timmy on Law Enforcement

Quote:

Originally posted by ThrashersFan
Do the guerilla environmentalists only go after SUVs? I sometimes get worried that they will attack my sporty but very muscular V-8 (averages around 16 miles to the gallon but I don't go on the interstate). Maybe they have left me alone because they don't realize that doing 0 to 60 in under 5 seconds means you gotta suck some gas?

edited to note that it is an American car so I do not fear the "Buy American" crazies.

I so should have guessed that TF drives a Z28. Does it have a 3 bumper sticker with the Halo? Plus you're editing the stats as you go. Wasn't 0 - 50 in 5 seconds fast enough?

Jesus_Just_Left_Chicago

08-04-2003 04:04 PM

Timmy on Law Enforcement

Quote:

Originally posted by SlaveNoMore
The Alamo is in Bush country.

not7yS

It is all the Lord's Country my son. Except for Times Square, the salons of Georgetown, Hollywood, Berkeley, Seattle and Canada, which are the dominions of Satan and his cabal of amoral sinners.

At least until I come again and restore the totality of my dad's kingdom.

Sidd Finch

08-04-2003 04:04 PM

Timmy on Law Enforcement

Quote:

Originally posted by bilmore
Constantly? All the time? All of them?

My apologies for the less-than-perfect word choice to those unable to turn off their inner Timmy.

paigowprincess

08-04-2003 04:06 PM

Timmy on Law Enforcement

Quote:

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
Yes, we shall. If a small-car driver parks right next to me, or takes a spot that I was waiting for, the tires will be flat. (look ma, no property damage!). SUVs are just so much more likely to expand outside their proper boundaries than a honda insight.

How about NOBODY drives. If you cant subway there, or walk there, or bike there, then you are too deep in McMansion sprawl and should stay in whence you came. We dont want you and your fucking stupid SUV or small car. Fuck off. You and all the damned immigrants are ruining this country. You might want to think twice about reproducing as well. We have enogh of you people.

btw, some asshole did the fastpassswipe on me today. I was putting my old school metro card in the bippy when this bastard just cut me in line and wnet throught. Well, I speedwalked right behind him and "accidentally" gave him flats. I felt better.

Did you just call me Coltrane?

08-04-2003 04:09 PM

BreastDay

Quote:

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Jesus, you are impossible to flirt with. Except for that teensy ray of hope that the gal is just a GF and not an SO.

I don't flirt in public. It's like internet PDA.

And that couple that makes out on the subway has always disgusted me.

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