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Did you just call me Coltrane? 01-26-2009 01:27 PM
Speaking of BJs
 
A good friend of mine was shocked when I recently told him that, when I was in law school, I received three blow jobs to conclusion over a nine-hour period. I explained that the first one was just a blow job, but that the second and third BJs were a result of me trying to convince the girl to have sex with me, but she wouldn't b/c we had just started seeing each other, and she wanted to wait. Being a guy, I had to test the water (each time) to make sure she was telling the truth (she was). She didn't "want to leave me hanging". Thus, the three blow jobs.

Of course, the story resulted in the taking of a poll at the bar on Saturday night. Surprisingly, random girls don't have much problem discussing these things after a few drinks, although a few pointed to the ring on my finger, to which I replied that I wasn't hitting on them (and I clearly wasn't); I just wanted to know how many BJs in one night would be considered "a lot of blow jobs".

The first time I slept with her the condom broke.:eek:

Penske_Account 01-26-2009 01:32 PM
Re: Obama's watch
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Did you just call me Coltrane? (Post 378971)
G-Shock? Toughest watch out there. Awesome watches. But I need a daily wearer as well, and G-Shocks are hideous.
If you ever strap on a pair and step up to the big leagues, maybe they will let you get an IronMan watch.........

Penske_Account 01-26-2009 01:35 PM
Re: Obama's watch
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pretty Little Flower (Post 378978)
Dude, you need to free youself from the shackles of the articial construction of "time" as that word is used in bougeois-capitalist-consumerist society. Think outside the arbitrary ticking of the second hand, look beyond the oppressive L.E.D. displays, and you will find a new kind of freedom and you'll never, ever be late.

.
I assume you are just being rhetorical for the sake of the little people, given that, as any corner office master of the universe knows, there is no such thing as late for us......everything starts either when we say it does or when we arrive or both.

Penske_Account 01-26-2009 01:36 PM
Re: Speaking of BJs
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Did you just call me Coltrane? (Post 378997)
A good friend of mine was shocked when I recently told him that, when I was in law school, I received three blow jobs to conclusion over a nine-hour period. I explained that the first one was just a blow job, but that the second and third BJs were a result of me trying to convince the girl to have sex with me, but she wouldn't b/c we had just started seeing each other, and she wanted to wait. Being a guy, I had to test the water (each time) to make sure she was telling the truth (she was). She didn't "want to leave me hanging". Thus, the three blow jobs.

:
Same girl or three different ones?

greatwhitenorthchick 01-26-2009 01:36 PM
Re: Speaking of BJs
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Did you just call me Coltrane? (Post 378997)
A good friend of mine was shocked when I recently told him that, when I was in law school, I received three blow jobs to conclusion over a nine-hour period. I explained that the first one was just a blow job, but that the second and third BJs were a result of me trying to convince the girl to have sex with me, but she wouldn't b/c we had just started seeing each other, and she wanted to wait. Being a guy, I had to test the water (each time) to make sure she was telling the truth (she was). She didn't "want to leave me hanging". Thus, the three blow jobs.

Of course, the story resulted in the taking of a poll at the bar on Saturday night. Surprisingly, random girls don't have much problem discussing these things after a few drinks, although a few pointed to the ring on my finger, to which I replied that I wasn't hitting on them (and I clearly wasn't); I just wanted to know how many BJs in one night would be considered "a lot of blow jobs".

The first time I slept with her the condom broke.:eek:
The "three-hour blowjob" is a reference to my boyfriend's stamina; I believe I first brought it up a few months ago.* We spend most of our weekends having sex. All day. Like 14-15x a day. I have to say I like it a lot, but I've realized I don't get out much anymore. Tradeoffs, I suppose.


*just to clear that up.

Cletus Miller 01-26-2009 01:38 PM
Re: Speaking of BJs
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Did you just call me Coltrane? (Post 378997)
I just wanted to know how many BJs in one night would be considered "a lot of blow jobs".
And what was the result of your poll?

Flinty_McFlint 01-26-2009 01:40 PM
Re: Speaking of BJs
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Did you just call me Coltrane? (Post 378997)
A good friend of mine was shocked when I recently told him that, when I was in law school, I received three blow jobs to conclusion over a nine-hour period. I explained that the first one was just a blow job, but that the second and third BJs were a result of me trying to convince the girl to have sex with me, but she wouldn't b/c we had just started seeing each other, and she wanted to wait. Being a guy, I had to test the water (each time) to make sure she was telling the truth (she was). She didn't "want to leave me hanging". Thus, the three blow jobs.

Of course, the story resulted in the taking of a poll at the bar on Saturday night. Surprisingly, random girls don't have much problem discussing these things after a few drinks, although a few pointed to the ring on my finger, to which I replied that I wasn't hitting on them (and I clearly wasn't); I just wanted to know how many BJs in one night would be considered "a lot of blow jobs".

The first time I slept with her the condom broke.:eek:
...and that, young Coltrane Jr., is how I met your Mother.

Greedy,Greedy,Greedy 01-26-2009 01:47 PM
Re: Speaking of BJs
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by greatwhitenorthchick (Post 379002)
The "three-hour blowjob" is a reference to my boyfriend's stamina; I believe I first brought it up a few months ago.* We spend most of our weekends having sex. All day. Like 14-15x a day. I have to say I like it a lot, but I've realized I don't get out much anymore. Tradeoffs, I suppose.


*just to clear that up.
I'm jealous. You never work weekends?

greatwhitenorthchick 01-26-2009 01:52 PM
Re: Speaking of BJs
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy (Post 379006)
I'm jealous. You never work weekends?
No. Maybe an hour or two on Sunday.

The economy of the United States of America (and the rest of the world, to some extent) is experiencing a "recession."

Did you just call me Coltrane? 01-26-2009 01:53 PM
Re: Obama's watch
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Penske_Account (Post 378999)
If you ever strap on a pair and step up to the big leagues, maybe they will let you get an IronMan watch.........
I have one.

Did you just call me Coltrane? 01-26-2009 01:55 PM
Re: Speaking of BJs
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cletus Miller (Post 379003)
And what was the result of your poll?
One girl was very surprised that 3BJ Girl eventually slept with me. She was also one the girls who thought I was hitting on her*.

It seemed like two BJs was the most for most girls.

*I go out of my way to let girls know that I'm not, but that I'm just there for my single friend (who really doesn't need a wingman).

Penske_Account 01-26-2009 02:02 PM
Re: Obama's watch
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Did you just call me Coltrane? (Post 379010)
I have one.
Hmmmm, maybe they eased the requirements......

Penske_Account 01-26-2009 02:03 PM
Re: Speaking of BJs
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Did you just call me Coltrane? (Post 379011)
One girl was very surprised that 3BJ Girl eventually slept with me. She was also one the girls who thought I was hitting on her*.

It seemed like two BJs was the most for most girls.
Same guy or two different ones?

Hank Chinaski 01-26-2009 02:04 PM
Re: Obama's watch
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Penske_Account (Post 379012)
Hmmmm, maybe they eased the requirements......
i gave him one of mine.

Pretty Little Flower 01-26-2009 02:10 PM
Re: Obama's watch
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski (Post 379014)
i gave him one of mine.
Are we still talking about blow jobs?

ThurgreedMarshall 01-26-2009 02:11 PM
Re: Speaking of BJs
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Did you just call me Coltrane? (Post 378997)
The first time I slept with her the condom broke.:eek:
Worst best feeling ever.

TM

Pretty Little Flower 01-26-2009 02:11 PM
Re: Speaking of BJs
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Did you just call me Coltrane? (Post 378997)
(and I clearly wasn't)
You clearly were.

Penske_Account 01-26-2009 02:16 PM
Re: Obama's watch
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski (Post 379014)
i gave him one of mine.
Makes sense, your wife told me she has used the ones I left on her night stand as "father's" day presents.

Penske_Account 01-26-2009 02:17 PM
Re: Speaking of BJs
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThurgreedMarshall (Post 379016)
Worst best feeling ever.

TM
You've never heard Hank's story about the time he confusedly slid into third base with the pre-op trannie?

Pretty Little Flower 01-26-2009 02:19 PM
Re: Obama's watch
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Penske_Account (Post 379018)
Makes sense, your wife told me she has used the ones I left on her night stand as "father's" day presents.
An IronMan watch makes a thoughtful and classy post-no-strings-attached-intercourse-or-fellatio-with-wife-of-another-man gratuity. W p, p!

Did you just call me Coltrane? 01-26-2009 02:23 PM
Re: Speaking of BJs
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Flinty_McFlint (Post 379005)
...and that, young Coltrane Jr., is how I met your Mother.
You drink too much, Dad.

ThurgreedMarshall 01-26-2009 02:25 PM
Re: Speaking of BJs
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Did you just call me Coltrane? (Post 379011)
*I go out of my way to let girls know that I'm not, but that I'm just there for my single friend (who really doesn't need a wingman).
I have found that women who insist that you are hitting on them when you're not are actually hitting on you. I was out once with some friends (two girls and a guy) at a bar in San Diego and we were having an argument. The two women we were with thought they could get more numbers than we could and we were just drunk enough to take offense and decided to bet on it. And they would have creamed us, of course, if we played fair--although, no one ever said we couldn't mention that we were having a competition while competing. And yes, I realize that really just means we were having a contest about who could talk to the most people.

Anyway, my friend and I set out to talk to every girl in the bar in an attempt to get numbers. It worked amazingly well, even with the women who didn't believe us and were convinced we were hitting on them. We would just walk up to a group of women and say, "You see those two women over there talking to those guys? Well, we're having a competition to see who can get the most phone numbers. We don't even live in San Diego, so you can give us fake names and numbers, if you like. We're just trying to win." Half of the girls would give us their real names and numbers (just in case they wanted to test us) and even the girls who didn't believe us gave up their numbers. It was truly weird, especially since we would have gotten nowhere with anyone if we just asked them if they wanted to hang out sometime.

Anyway, with this tactic, we won. And I think the prize was more drinks, which was not a very good idea.

TM

Cletus Miller 01-26-2009 02:26 PM
Re: Speaking of BJs
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Did you just call me Coltrane? (Post 379011)
I go out of my way to let girls know that I'm not, but that I'm just there for my single friend (who really doesn't need a wingman).
Depending on where you go, that can be a workable start. I'm sure they've all heard that one before.

Flinty_McFlint 01-26-2009 02:33 PM
Re: Speaking of BJs
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThurgreedMarshall (Post 379022)
I have found that women who insist that you are hitting on them when you're not are actually hitting on you. I was out once with some friends (two girls and a guy) at a bar in San Diego and we were having an argument. The two women we were with thought they could get more numbers than we could and we were just drunk enough to take offense and decided to bet on it. And they would have creamed us, of course, if we played fair--although, no one ever said we couldn't mention that we were having a competition while competing. And yes, I realize that really just means we were having a contest about who could talk to the most people.

Anyway, my friend and I set out to talk to every girl in the bar in an attempt to get numbers. It worked amazingly well, even with the women who didn't believe us and were convinced we were hitting on them. We would just walk up to a group of women and say, "You see those two women over there talking to those guys? Well, we're having a competition to see who can get the most phone numbers. We don't even live in San Diego, so you can give us fake names and numbers, if you like. We're just trying to win." Half of the girls would give us their real names and numbers (just in case they wanted to test us) and even the girls who didn't believe us gave up their numbers. It was truly weird, especially since we would have gotten nowhere with anyone if we just asked them if they wanted to hang out sometime.

Anyway, with this tactic, we won. And I think the prize was more drinks, which was not a very good idea.

TM
That is so weird. Hank tells a similar story, except instead of names and numbers, he said blow jobs and cigarettes, and instead of a bar in San Diego, he said a prison in the Midwest. The similarities are just eerie.

Hank Chinaski 01-26-2009 02:43 PM
Re: Obama's watch
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pretty Little Flower (Post 379020)
An IronMan watch makes a thoughtful and classy post-no-strings-attached-intercourse-or-fellatio-with-wife-of-another-man gratuity. W p, p!
a half hour before Penske posted that I passed on the "two BJs a night was tops" post by posting something about Penske's sister and the HS B-bal ream. But i am classier than Penske, and this just proves it. again.

Hank Chinaski 01-26-2009 02:55 PM
Re: Speaking of BJs
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Flinty_McFlint (Post 379024)
That is so weird. Hank tells a similar story, except instead of names and numbers, he said blow jobs and cigarettes, and instead of a bar in San Diego, he said a prison in the Midwest. The similarities are just eerie.
not similar.
I don't know what kinds of prisons you've ended up in for your silver spoon crimes, but when you grow up where i grew up you end up in prisons where there are no faked blow jobs, some fake cigarettes maybe, but no faked sex.

Penske_Account 01-26-2009 03:02 PM
Re: Obama's watch
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski (Post 379025)
a half hour before Penske posted that I passed on the "two BJs a night was tops" post by posting something about Penske's sister and the HS B-bal ream. .
That was the time she was in a head to head contest with your mom.....Sis still claims that if she hadn't been called for double-dribbling she might have won.......

Atticus Grinch 01-26-2009 03:25 PM
For Manfred. And mankind in general.
 
http://imgs.sfgate.com/c/pictures/20...0499714774.jpg

Pretty Little Flower 01-26-2009 03:29 PM
Re: Obama's watch
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski (Post 379025)
a half hour before Penske posted that I passed on the "two BJs a night was tops" post by posting something about Penske's sister and the HS B-bal ream. But i am classier than Penske, and this just proves it. again.

Penske walks with the effortless grace and charm of the corner-officed, and yet can spin foul-mouthed yarns that, while not lacking in wit, would make a sailor blush. He is a case study in the duality of man. Required reading.

Gattigap 01-26-2009 03:31 PM
Re: For Manfred. And mankind in general.
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Atticus Grinch (Post 379029)
There's something off about that photo. Her skin, it looks ... no, alabaster isn't quite the right word. [snap] Translucent. Yes. Translucent.

Hank Chinaski 01-26-2009 03:37 PM
Re: Obama's watch
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pretty Little Flower (Post 379030)
Penske walks with the effortless grace and charm of the corner-officed, and yet can spin foul-mouthed yarns that, while not lacking in wit, would make a sailor blush. He is a case study in the duality of man. Required reading.
I have a corners office.

Tyrone Slothrop 01-26-2009 03:38 PM
Happy Niu Year!
 
eom

Replaced_Texan 01-26-2009 03:50 PM
Re: Happy Niu Year!
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tyrone Slothrop (Post 379034)
eom
I have decided that this will be an excellent year. I'm a Taurus born in the Year of the Ox. Surely, I'm doubly lucky, astrologically speaking.

futbol fan 01-26-2009 04:01 PM
Just getting this out of the way.
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Replaced_Texan (Post 379036)
I have decided that this will be an excellent year. I'm a Taurus born in the Year of the Ox. Surely, I'm doubly lucky, astrologically speaking.
It's all bullshit.

I have decided this will be an excellent year based on the fact that only the good die young and I have been living. it. up.

Flinty_McFlint 01-26-2009 04:05 PM
Re: For Manfred. And mankind in general.
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Atticus Grinch (Post 379029)
http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_galle...cookoff_10.jpg

Adder 01-26-2009 04:06 PM
Re: For Manfred. And mankind in general.
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Flinty_McFlint (Post 379038)
Unflattering image of Jessica Simpson
Leaving aside the other obvious issues, who picked those jeans for her? Terrible.

Shape Shifter 01-26-2009 04:09 PM
Re: Just getting this out of the way.
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ironweed (Post 379037)
It's all bullshit.

I have decided this will be an excellent year based on the fact that only the good die young and I have been living. it. up.

But working too hard can give you a heart attack. Ack. Ack. Ack. Ack.

Mmmm, Burger (C.J.) 01-26-2009 04:15 PM
Re: For Manfred. And mankind in general.
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Flinty_McFlint (Post 379038)
Stifler's mom?

Mmmm, Burger (C.J.) 01-26-2009 04:17 PM
Re: For Manfred. And mankind in general.
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adder (Post 379039)
Leaving aside the other obvious issues, who picked those jeans for her? Terrible.
Mom jeans.

http://msinformedblog.com/wp-content...2/momjeans.jpg

Greedy,Greedy,Greedy 01-26-2009 04:23 PM
Re: For Manfred. And mankind in general.
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Atticus Grinch (Post 379029)

http://www.sawf.org/Newsphotos/Bolly...ds_25Jan09.JPG

See and raise.


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