Question for the board
 

Originally posted by skeks in the city

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield

Maybe you're observations are skewed by seeing too many obese, middle-aged paralegals and secretaries.

But most people my age, give or take (or younger), seem OK-looking. Somewhere between paigow's and bilmore's age that probably no longer holds up, but it works well enough for people under 40.

Nicole Richie Flashing
 

See above (spree: tits) - http://7pounds.net/forums/index.php?...e=post&id=5061

That threesome she and Paris suggested is not as appealing as I thought.

Nicole Richie Flashing
 

Blech. I wouldn't fuck her with Bea Arthur's dick.

Nicole Richie Flashing
 

Yipes! Your spree was utterly inadequate. Should have read "nasty, skanky tits"

Nicole Richie Flashing
 

No, it's not the tits so much as the beer belly.
She's got an odd figure, slender thighs and beer belly. Most women would carry more weight in the ass and thighs.
Maybe her personal trainer is not stressing the crunches so much. Obviously, she hasn't done crunches in a few years. If ever.

Breasticles Poll - bra size
 

You told me they were Bs. Thats a bit less classy, sir. Well, you're married to it. too late now.

Nicole Richie Flashing
 

For those of us who choose not to look at nudity at the office, can you describe what makes tits skanky? I assume they are fake, because how can real ones be skanky?

this is ironic bc i saw something on the E True Hollywood Story: The Hilton Sisters (a low moment in my life) where the girls were quoted as saying that fake boobs are so stripper (!) and classy(!!). This was on a magazine cover by the way. If someeone could find it and repost it here, I would be much obliged. Clearly its avatar material.

And on a totally unrlated topic- what exactly is Dubonnet and does anyone actually drink it>?

Nicole Richie Flashing
 

If those tits are fake, she should demand a refund from her doc. They just don't match her body. She's rather chubby and her tits aren't particularly large, especially compared with her protruding gut. That, in combination with the outfit and the way she's exposing her breasts makes her look low-grade stripper-ish.



It's a French sweet vermouth, and no I don't drink Manhattans. You're thinking of this guy.

http://www.angelfire.com/id/spf/imag...gumfattony.jpg



More information here.
http://www.thedrinkshop.com/products...d=231&catid=31

Spree: Dubonnet -- duh

Confidential to leagl
 

David Cross in DC!
 

My main man. David Cross, and star of the apparently brilliant Arrested Development which I still havent seen, is coming to DC on January 15-17th! Perhaps we will have our own little ACL here?

Confidential to leagl - Reprise
 

Back when it was just people sharing porn, it sounded kind of trite.

But if it involves actual nudie pics of FB'ers, well, what he said.

Whatever that was.

(Please.)

Confidential to leagl - Reprise
 

I will not send in pictures of my boobies if I will be the only one doing so. It's too Hilton Sisters for me.

Another thing: How do I explain to my husband why I need him to take photos of my mostly naked torso?

Confidential to leagl - Reprise
 

The human body is a temple and one needs no excuses to worship it.

Mostly naked?

Confidential to leagl - Reprise
 

Several ways, two of which I can think of off the top of my head:

(a) I would like to show them to all my imaginary friends

(b) here's a camera. I'm going to get undressed. take some pictures.


(just between us, (b) works quite well.)

Confidential to leagl - Reprise
 

Most cameras will let you set a timer, so you can go around front and take the picture yourself. Look for a small button or dial on the front, generally one you can turn, with a " . . ." around the side, or some number, often up to 10 (as in seconds before clicking) or 30.

Alternatively, use a mirror.

Of course, if you are doing this in your office, you should shut the door first.

Confidential to leagl - Reprise
 

Okay, fine.

I'll send in one of mine, too.

Confidential to leagl - Reprise
 

Blow him and then tell him you think it would be fun to have him take naked pictures of you. Edit as needed. Trust me, it won't be hard to convince him.

Confidential to leagl - Reprise
 

And, with that image firmly implanted in my brain, I now won't be able to stand up the rest of the day.

ETA: Oh, that's probably not what you meant by "just between us", is it?

Confidential to BnB
 

Look, I don't think you need to bring this issue up with him at all, and I realize that taking the pictures yourself likely won't yield the quality you are looking for. If you'd like, I'd be happy to take the photos for you. Let me know.

Question for the board
 

Exactement! I see the world is waking up to what I, and my precious prescience, long ago foresaw.

Thus, I staked my claim early.

HIPAA or Mental Health Advice Needed
 

I do.

http://www.cr.nps.gov/museum/exhibit...wcoverview.jpg

Don't share your invention with Edward "Skippy" Williamson and Frederick "Jif" Armstrong (those lying, thieving bastards).

TM

Confidential to GGG
 

Ummmm, aren't you like 3000 miles away from me? That's a mighty big camera you have.

Confidential to leagl - Reprise
 

Damn. I think I would have preferred not being able to stand the rest of the day.

You bastard.

Adult Board Access Granted
 

That is all.

e/o

Adult Board Access Granted
 

Sometimes I wonder what the IT nazis can see. Can they ses a homepage with a link to an"Adult Board"? Maybe we can rename it the Roast Beef Board?

David Cross in DC!
 

I'm in. That's also the end of restaurant week and I have reservations all over the place.

small pleasures
 

http://www.files4fun.de/funonline/bubblewrap.swf

[spree: harmless]

TM

Question for the board
 

No comments on the "your/you're" and the hyphenating? Hmmmmmmmmmm.

Adult Board Access Granted
 

uh, they can see that you're downloading a pic from roastbeef.com. that's kind of enough to stay away.

Adult Board Access Granted
 

It's not on the homepage and it doesn't appear on your screen unless you have access. Just as they cannot see our moderator forums if you cannot, they cannot see the adult board.

small pleasures
 

I received a package before the holidays with pages of it. Good times.

Nicole Richie Flashing
 

It may be called a vermouth, but it's not the martini mixer one usually thinks of, which has rather a lot of sugar. It's a vermouth to the extent sherry or any other fortified wine is a vermouth. Dubonnet comes in both red (flavored with spices & quinnine), which is the more common variety, and white (flavored with various herbs). The red is usually drunk neat, the white is also sometimes in mixed drinks, but is quite lovely neat with a twist.

Which gives me the opportunity to repost my favorite cocktail: a Damn Your Eyes: 1/2 vodka, 1/2 dubonnet blanc, shaken until cold, with a twist. Of course, you have to find a bar that has white dubonnet for this, which is actually quite challenging.

It also gives me the chance to relate a story from the Mr's side of the family: when his parents got engaged, his mother was dragged off to meet his dad's family, headed by her fiance's grandfather, an ancient and very stern and frightening Methodist minister of the "fire, brimstone and demon rum" variety, who was also about 6 1/2 feet tall and was a former semi-professional boxer. No one drank or smoked in his presence - no one dared to speak unless spoken to. Then came my mother in law who, promptly at 5, made herself a cocktail. "What are you drinking" the old dragon asked her? Everyone in the house held their breath. "Dubonnet" the m-i-l said. "Ah, Dubonnet," the Mr.'s great grandfather said, "I remember drinking Dubonnet in the streets of Paris at Armistice," and he proceeded to reminisce about the end of WWI and kissing all the pretty French women, to the complete and total shock of his entire family. He and the m-i-l got on like gangbusters until he died a few years later at the age of close to 100 carrying one of his maids up the stairs (she'd fainted, they say - I imagine his days of kissing pretty girls was past, though I could be wrong).

Nicole Richie Flashing
 

And people wonder why chivalry is dead.

Confidential to leagl - Reprise
 

Wait, so you're going to post photos of your rack but cover...what...your navel? Your ribcage?

No need for excessive modesty I think. If you post a photo of the goods, the FB gentlemen won't even notice the rest.

Confidential to leagl - Reprise
 

You underestimate us.

Most enjoy the whole entire package.

Confidential to leagl - Reprise
 

I think she's planning on wearing a red thong just in case.

Or she might be wearing one of those weirdo cupless bra things that are so ho-ho-ho-hot.

Question for the board
 

You're right, of course, fringey. I was distracted by the content of the message and ignored the method of conveyance. Please know that I feel deeply ashamed.

Thank goodness I have you around to point out my missteps -- what would become of me without you? I shudder to think...

Question for the board
 

I think that was a frisson of pleasure, not a shudder.

Confidential to GGG
 

Details, details!

I'm the NFH of 2004!!
 

Dear Management,

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the
following reasons:

1. I do physical labor

2. I work at great depths

3. I plunge head first into everything I do

4. I do not get weekends or public holidays off

5. I work in a damp environment

6. I don't get paid overtime

7. I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation

8. I work in high temperatures

9. My work exposes me to contagious diseases

Dear Penis,

After assessing your request and considering the arguments you
have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

1. You can not work 8 hours straight

2. You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods

3. You do not always follow the orders of the management team

4. You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen
visiting other locations

5. You do not take the initiative- you need to be pressured and
stimulated in order to start working

6. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your
shift

7. You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such
as wearing the correct protective gear

8. You will retire well before you are 65

9. You are unable to work double shifts

10. You sometimes leave your designated work before you have
completed the
assigned task

11. And if that were not enough, you have been seen constantly
entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags