LawTalkers

LawTalkers (http://www.lawtalkers.com/forums/index.php)
-   The Fashionable (http://www.lawtalkers.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=14)
-   -   Welcome back E/O, leagl and Fringey: no one say the name "Penske" 3 times in a row (http://www.lawtalkers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=845)

Did you just call me Coltrane? 11-05-2009 03:47 PM

Re: Lawyer Dating Sucks
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Atticus Grinch (Post 405887)
A guy in my first year LS section was a former cop and a licensed gun dealer specializing in Smith & Wesson. We didn't see eye-to-eye about much, but Jeff and I got along just fine. We were always arguing about gun control -- me for, him against -- and he pontificated that people who had never fired a handgun had no business forming opinions about gun control policy. Jeff declared me unqualified to continue the discussion, given his pronouncement, so he set about remedying the situation by arranging for a group of us to go to an indoor range with a selection of his wares.

The range was a long corridor with a parabolic baffle made of steel plate at the far end, about 50 yards away. The bullets would ricochet against the baffle and up, then against another parabolic baffle in the ceiling and back, after which they would fall harmlessly to the floor behind the baffle to be swept up. Jeff therefore told us that firing into what looked like a steel wall was safe as kittens, because it was a mathematical certainty that all projectiles hitting the parabola would reflect upwards, not back. Each "lane" (I'm afraid I don't know the terminology; to me it seemed a bit like a bowling alley) had one of Jeff's guns, and you would progress from the smallest (the far right lane) to the largest (the far left). We progressed from a .22, to a .38, to a 9mm, to a .44, and finally to Jeff's pride and joy, a 10mm auto. (Jeff was the type of former cop that would occasionally go on a tear about how a 9mm didn't have adequate "stopping power" for beat cops to carry.) Each lane had a waist-high shelf on which you kept the ammunition and where you placed the gun when finished. I progressed to the left until Jeff motioned for me to take the far left lane, where the 10mm auto was.

Jeff had brought with him a selection of paper targets, including a couple with cartoonish drawings of vaguely ethnic looking robbers menacing white ladies with purses -- you would shoot at the exposed portion of the mugger/rapist without hitting the lady. So I'm firing the gun into the target and rescuing the lady from the Hamburgler with my powerful penis extender, when all of a sudden I feel a hard punch to the chest by an invisible force. I look around, thoroughly confused, when I see Jeff laughing silently (we were all wearing those headphone things), and he pointed me to the shelf in front of me, where there was a strangely beautiful bit of twisted copper and lead just sitting there. Through a series of miming actions, Jeff explained that I had edged too close to the right side of my lane, and was firing through the target at an angle to the left, so the bullets were striking not the parabolic baffle on the end wall, but the cinder block side wall on my left. He said he could see from his angle behind me what I couldn't -- there were puffs of debris where my shots were hitting the cinder blocks, then, for the most part, ricocheting safely into the baffle. But one of my shots apparently hit a seam in the cinder block and ricocheted straight backward toward me.

Jeff said that if it had hit me in the face it could have lacerated a cheek or broken my nose, and that I was lucky merely to be bruised in the chest. I kept the bullet -- it looked a little bit like a tiny partially bloomed lily -- but lost it when we moved.

I did not read this.

Fugee 11-05-2009 03:49 PM

Re: Lawyer Dating Sucks
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Replaced_Texan (Post 405905)
Oh, that we haven't gotten ourselves killed yet is a minor miracle. We generally aim roman candles at each other, play soccer with a flaming roll of toilet paper, and throw spray paint, butane, hair spray and other assorted highly pressurized cans into fires on a regular basis.

I've never been to a dynamite shoot, but I've certainly seen a lot of things go boom.

My BIL the pyromaniac would fit right in with your group.

Hank Chinaski 11-05-2009 03:50 PM

Re: Lawyer Dating Sucks
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy (Post 405894)
darwinian WT drinking game to me.

http://whatsfowling.com/index1.html

I've started Fowling lately. we've done well, although we lost in the finals last weekend to a team from Mn. this one fuck wore bike shorts. bike shorts.

notcasesensitive 11-05-2009 03:52 PM

Re: Lawyer Dating Sucks
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Replaced_Texan (Post 405898)
My boyfriend is an ex-Marine. He's most comfortable with M-16s, and says that he'd rather have a gun he's completely comfortable with than one he doesn't know very well, so we have no guns. He does volunteer to shoot snakes on the lake with the shotguns when we go to the ranch, and he helpfully unjams my dad's fancy Italian guns when they all go duck hunting.

Tell him to be careful when unjamming those guns: http://www.latimes.com/sports/la-sp-...,6153364.story

(On the plus side, there does not appear to be much likelihood of a felony conviction in this case.)

Fugee 11-05-2009 03:55 PM

Re: Lawyer Dating Sucks
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski (Post 405910)
http://whatsfowling.com/index1.html

I've started Fowling lately. we've done, well, although we lost in the finals last weekend to a team from Mn. this one fuck wore bike shorts. bike shorts.

PLF wears bike shorts to all sporting events. He never knows when a spinning class might break out.

Mmmm, Burger (C.J.) 11-05-2009 03:58 PM

Re: Lawyer Dating Sucks
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Replaced_Texan (Post 405905)
Oh, that we haven't gotten ourselves killed yet is a minor miracle. We generally aim roman candles at each other, play soccer with a flaming roll of toilet paper, and throw spray paint, butane, hair spray and other assorted highly pressurized cans into fires on a regular basis.

Your like the Kennedys, with pyrotechnics.

Greedy,Greedy,Greedy 11-05-2009 03:59 PM

Re: Lawyer Dating Sucks
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by notcasesensitive (Post 405911)
Tell him to be careful when unjamming those guns: http://www.latimes.com/sports/la-sp-...,6153364.story

(On the plus side, there does not appear to be much likelihood of a felony conviction in this case.)

The good life was so elusive.

He should have got into camouflage.

PresentTense Pirate Penske 11-05-2009 03:59 PM

Re: Lawyer Dating Sucks
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Fugee (Post 405912)
PLF wears bike shorts to all sporting events. He never knows when a spinning class might break out.

Be prepared indeed. I keep a brazillian cut DeSoto speedo, a pair of oakley leopard print flak jackets and a pair of 4 oz racing flats in my glove box for similar reasons.

Pretty Little Flower 11-05-2009 04:11 PM

Re: Lawyer Dating Sucks
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski (Post 405910)
http://whatsfowling.com/index1.html

I've started Fowling lately. we've done well, although we lost in the finals last weekend to a team from Mn. this one fuck wore bike shorts. bike shorts.

When you've got a writhing one-eyed anaconda between the legs, you need to wrassle that bad boy down before the Fowling starts, or it will throw off your balance and you'll never hit a pin. Plus, you never know when a spin class will break out. Speaking of biking apparel, I won the costume contest for last Saturday's cyclocross race. It is my first cyclocross win.

PresentTense Pirate Penske 11-05-2009 04:17 PM

Re: Lawyer Dating Sucks
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pretty Little Flower (Post 405917)
When you've got a writhing one-eyed anaconda between the legs, you need to wrassle that bad boy down before the Fowling starts, or it will throw off your balance and you'll never hit a pin. Plus, you never know when a spin class will break out. Speaking of biking apparel, I won the costume contest for last Saturday's cyclocross race. It is my first cyclocross win.

During my heyday I had a friend who was an "aunt bea" type, iykwimaiktydbyrtttg. I tried to mitigate his feelings of inadequacy by telling him that he always looked slick in his race gear, and if you can't go fast, at least look like you can go fast.

Flinty_McFlint 11-05-2009 04:23 PM

Re: Lawyer Dating Sucks
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Atticus Grinch (Post 405899)
"Sole purpose"? I never pegged you for an Aristotelian, and assure you your mom has thought of other uses for my special purpose.

It's posts like this (and the gun one) that makes it just so hard for us here at the "Meet Your Future You" program to match you with a suitable candidate. So few socks coming up these days can combine so many disparate sources into a post that elevates what would otherwise just be another your momma insult. I think we'll have to start recruiting at more private schools, preferably ones that have a higher than normal incidence of sexual hazing, cuz that's where the highbrow funny comes from.

Pretty Little Flower 11-05-2009 04:25 PM

Re: Actual Fashion Question
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by PresentTense Pirate Penske (Post 405900)
Sheesh, 4 days before, that's plenty of time. In the 4 days between the birth of my second child and the 4 day anniversary of the same I billed approx 75 hours. That's a similar effourt to a marathon, no?

fwiw, fyi, ftr, I am on my final comeback trail, that starts with a statement here. The rest of the comeback hinges on the quality of that statement on that day. If its a wimper, I go home and enjoy a fatted perpetual retirement.

I thought the rationale behind the order of triathlon events is that events with the highest likelihood of a disastrous result in the event of physical breakdown go first. I hope they have some good lifeguards at Lake Mohonk.

tmdiva 11-05-2009 04:26 PM

Guns
 
My dad is a lifetime member of the NRA and a lifelong hunter (the kind who actually goes hunting nearly every year, unlike Mitt; he's also the kind of hunter who doesn't kill things he doesn't plan on eating). One of my family's favorite roll-your-eyes anecdotes involves my dad giving my mom an M-1 carbine for their first anniversary (I don't recall her shooting anything, ever). Growing up, the long guns were stored in their boxes in the farthest recesses of my parents' closet (past the laundry chute, a good yard away from the opening. There was an inoperable (burglars didn't need to know that) handgun in the nightstand drawer. Now my dad has a fancy schmancy gun safe, in which the sterling also resides. He also reloads his own ammunition. Plus he's a bowhunter, though unlike Ted Nugent he only shoots arrows at deer.

So, I grew up knowing how to reload shotgun shells and fletch arrows. I have been skeet shooting once. Most of my shooting experience was with a pellet rifle during the time period we had a target set up in the basement family room. I was a decent shot. The boys, and my tomboy sister, got invited along for much more outdoor target shooting, with bigger weapons.

I think I have some venison in the freezer from my dad's last hunting trip, but my husband and I don't plan on ever owning a gun of any kind.

tm

Pretty Little Flower 11-05-2009 04:28 PM

Re: Lawyer Dating Sucks
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by PresentTense Pirate Penske (Post 405919)
During my heyday I had a friend who was an "aunt bea" type, iykwimaiktydbyrtttg. I tried to mitigate his feelings of inadequacy by telling him that he always looked slick in his race gear, and if you can't go fast, at least look like you can go fast.

I did not look like I could go fast, but I looked good. That and the gift certficiate I won adequately mitigated my feelings of inadequacy.

Tyrone Slothrop 11-05-2009 04:32 PM

Re: Lawyer Dating Sucks
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pretty Little Flower (Post 405917)
When you've got a writhing one-eyed anaconda between the legs,

And on the internets, who doesn't?


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:31 PM.

Powered by: vBulletin, Copyright ©2000 - 2008, Jelsoft Enterprises Limited.
Hosted By: URLJet.com