LawTalkers - Welcome back E/O, leagl and Fringey: no one say the name "Penske" 3 times in a row

I wasn't. In order to get to the SB, I must walked past the Caribou. As I was walking back from SB, one of the barristas (or whatever Caribou calls them) that I see and chat with on a regular basis walked out of the Caribou.

Busted.

greatwhitenorthchick

12-11-2009 12:05 PM

Re: McDouche is McOver

Quote:

Originally Posted by John Phoenix (Post 410342)

What did the doctor diagnose that led to the prescription?

Apparently my testosterone level was a little low. I initially turned down the prescription because my sex drive is off the charts these days but then I was like, what the hell.

Sidd Finch

12-11-2009 12:08 PM

Re: I need a car

Quote:

Originally Posted by cheval de frise (Post 410257)

Last I recall, 'weed was saying you should be beaten on sight. He might bring a tire iron to your rendezvous.

CDF

He might, but my own meetings with Weed indicate that he'll likely be too drunk to swing it.

Sidd Finch

12-11-2009 12:14 PM

Re: McDouche is McOver

Quote:

Originally Posted by ABBAKiss (Post 410318)

I told McDouche to take a hike and he has left me alone for a few days now, refusing to even tell me (for example) how my daughter ate and slept during the day while he was watching her. He also defriended me on Facebook, which is hilarious for a lot of reasons.

Court date next Thursday! Yay - I'll get my money back that he stole and start my daughter's college fund. COURT ORDERED.

Of course, now I have new drama, but I won't bore you all with that. Not today. As a wise poster said, timing is everything, and today we are learning about GWINC's testosterone fueled sex, which trumps my dating drama. :)

Yay. YAY! YAAAAAY!!!!!!

futbol fan

12-11-2009 12:15 PM

Or Cab Calloway. Hi dtb!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sidd Finch (Post 410372)

He might, but my own meetings with Weed indicate that he'll likely be too drunk to swing it.

When it comes to tire irons, I swing like Count Basie. But Hank is just teasing me, as he is wont to do, and will forever remain a Man Of Mystery.

cheval de frise

12-11-2009 12:17 PM

Re: Now I know how Tiger feels...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Did you just call me Coltrane? (Post 410348)

Why don't you take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut? Why don't you take a flying fuck at the mooooooooooooon?

Hank doesn't like it when you give me opportunities to quote Vonnegut.

Somewhere, a caring soul is shedding a tear. And Not Bob is making candlelit origami prayer boats for peace and harmony.

Not me.

CDF

sebastian_dangerfield

12-11-2009 12:28 PM

Re: McDouche is McOver

Quote:

Originally Posted by greatwhitenorthchick (Post 410326)

I believe it's only available by prescription. I got it from my doctor.

Side effects for men include balding. Shit, that's off the list of things to try.

Replaced_Texan

12-11-2009 12:29 PM

Re: Now I know how Tiger feels...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Did you just call me Coltrane? (Post 410358)

At least you owned up to it and didn't try to pass off the SB as "for a friend."

futbol fan

12-11-2009 12:30 PM

Re: Now I know how Tiger feels...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Replaced_Texan (Post 410388)

At least you owned up to it and didn't try to pass off the SB as "for a friend."

Now you've just made him feel worse. Nice job.

Hank Chinaski

12-11-2009 12:30 PM

Re: McDouche is McOver

Quote:

Originally Posted by sebastian_dangerfield (Post 410387)

Side effects for men include balding. Shit, that's off the list of things to try.

someone does need to get gwnc a safety razor for xmas though, and maybe a picture book of bearded ladies for styling tips?

evenodds

12-11-2009 12:32 PM

Re: McDouche is McOver

Quote:

Originally Posted by greatwhitenorthchick (Post 410370)

Apparently my testosterone level was a little low. I initially turned down the prescription because my sex drive is off the charts these days but then I was like, what the hell.

On our first date, the LMA was whining about being an aging athlete and how his performance and training have suffered over the years and how hard he pushes himself physically to combat the effects of aging.

Knowing the OddMan had tested slightly low and supplemented with excellent results, I asked the LMA if he'd been checked and suggested he supplement.

Amazingly, not even the added "but you are old," was enough to have him leave me at the restaurant.

sebastian_dangerfield

12-11-2009 12:38 PM

Re: McDouche is McOver

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski (Post 410391)

someone does need to get gwnc a safety razor for xmas though, and maybe a picture book of bearded ladies for styling tips?

Thrice monthly Brazilians. That's some serious coin.

bold_n_brazen

12-11-2009 12:53 PM

Re: I can't help falling in love with you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Not Bob (Post 410353)

I would bet cash money that that was an awesome look for you -- why the change junior year? Too edge-y for the boyfriend?

Thank you.

My junior year, my boyfriend (who I am now married to.... hi Honey!) and I broke up.

I decided to embrace the '80's and took on big hair, copious drugs and irresponsible sex.

cheval de frise

12-11-2009 01:03 PM

Oh yeah? Look at MY life!

Quote:

Originally Posted by evenodds (Post 410350)

One of my best guy friends has been having a domestic situation for a while. This morning, it got worse (again) and he shot an email to us detailing exactly what she said and did.

If he fails to call this police this time, I may hire a plane flying a banner with choice excerpts to fly through his neighborhood or a town crier to stand near his office building.

I got a cup of coffee this morning, came to work, and have been productive. I've also had some pleasant, unremarkable conversations with my co-workers.

(I'm not doing this "dramatic update" thing right, am I?)

CDF

evenodds

12-11-2009 01:04 PM

Re: Oh yeah? Look at MY life!

Quote:

Originally Posted by cheval de frise (Post 410408)

Depends . . . what kind of coffee? Caribou or SB? Donut or pastry???

cheval de frise

12-11-2009 01:09 PM

Re: Oh yeah? Look at MY life!

Quote:

Originally Posted by evenodds (Post 410409)

Depends . . . what kind of coffee? Caribou or SB? Donut or pastry???

Those are private details. I'm modest.

Although those saucy little French crullers are enticing...

CDF

Sidd Finch

12-11-2009 01:24 PM

Re: McDouche is McOver

Quote:

Originally Posted by sebastian_dangerfield (Post 410387)

Side effects for men include balding. Shit, that's off the list of things to try.

Do you really need something to enhance your sex drive?

Gwink is just starting to understand how we feel ALL THE TIME.

catrin_darcy

12-11-2009 01:25 PM

Re: McDouche is McOver

Quote:

Originally Posted by sidd finch (Post 410375)

yay. Yay! Yaaaaay!!!!!!

sebastian_dangerfield

12-11-2009 01:28 PM

Re: McDouche is McOver

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sidd Finch (Post 410412)

Do you really need something to enhance your sex drive?

Gwink is just starting to understand how we feel ALL THE TIME.

How do I know? Maybe I'd like it. Maybe you'd like it.

Who am I bullshitting. We'd fucking love it. I just like my hair a little more.

ABBAKiss

12-11-2009 01:52 PM

Re: McDouche is McOver

Quote:

Originally Posted by sebastian_dangerfield (Post 410399)

Thrice monthly Brazilians. That's some serious coin.

Here's something I don't understand about waxing - don't you have to allow pretty significant growth before getting the hair ripped out again? I shave so I am smooth all the time. I cannot imagine how shitty it would feel to be bristly and furry in between waxes. Can anyone explain?

sebastian_dangerfield

12-11-2009 02:13 PM

Re: McDouche is McOver

Quote:

Originally Posted by ABBAKiss (Post 410419)

Persistence is indeed the trick. It's taken me years, but my undercarriage is now smoother than a pair of silk purses. They almost gleam in proper light.

And never once a waxing. Regular straight razouring all the way.

Adder

12-11-2009 02:14 PM

Re: McDouche is McOver

Quote:

Originally Posted by sebastian_dangerfield (Post 410422)

tmi

What could possibly make you think anyone wanted to know this?

Hank Chinaski

12-11-2009 02:21 PM

Re: McDouche is McOver

Quote:

Originally Posted by sebastian_dangerfield (Post 410422)

do you shave taint forward to back or visa-versa. or does it depend on local curvature?

Fugee

12-11-2009 02:29 PM

Re: McDouche is McOver

Quote:

Originally Posted by ABBAKiss (Post 410419)

When you wax (1) the hair grows in finer, softer and sparser and (2) the ends aren't stubbly because they are new growth not the razored off ends so you aren't at all bristly between waxes and aren't really furry either. And the smoothness after waxing last tons longer than shaving.

Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)

12-11-2009 02:35 PM

Re: McDouche is McOver

Quote:

Originally Posted by Adder (Post 410423)

What could possibly make you think anyone wanted to know this?

Hank apparently has questions that need answering. I suggest PM.

sebastian_dangerfield

12-11-2009 02:38 PM

Re: McDouche is McOver

Quote:

Originally Posted by Adder (Post 410423)

What could possibly make you think anyone wanted to know this?

There is no doubt - you need to be screened for Aspergers.

sebastian_dangerfield

12-11-2009 02:41 PM

Re: I need a car

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski (Post 410076)

FWIW I got shorted on the "halle actually being mutant probably helped her get the X-man role" post.

I start with the Flowbee. When I get it down from links-course-rough length to Augusta green levels, I break out the straight razour.

Hank Chinaski

12-11-2009 02:44 PM

Re: I need a car

Quote:

Originally Posted by sebastian_dangerfield (Post 410439)

I start with the Flowbee. When I get it down from links-course-rough length to Augusta green levels, I break out the straight razour.

Flowbee? I'd worry about particles clogging it up on those days I didn't have time to wipe real well iykwimaittyd.

Adder

12-11-2009 02:46 PM

Re: McDouche is McOver

Quote:

Originally Posted by sebastian_dangerfield (Post 410438)

There is no doubt - you need to be screened for Aspergers.

Fine. As long as they also have a good method for removing the unwanted mental image of you crouched over with a straight razor near your junk.

Did you just call me Coltrane?

12-11-2009 03:16 PM

Re: McDouche is McOver

Quote:

Originally Posted by Adder (Post 410444)

Fine. As long as they also have a good method for removing the unwanted mental image of you crouched over with a straight razor near your junk.

Are balls not considered part of your junk? I thought junk meant the whole package, no?

Fugee

12-11-2009 03:23 PM

Re: McDouche is McOver

Quote:

Originally Posted by Did you just call me Coltrane? (Post 410448)

Are balls not considered part of your junk? I thought junk meant the whole package, no?

Quick, ABBA, post the details of your latest dating life drama! It's Friday afternoon and we are discussing what all is involved in "junk."

E/O, copy the emails from your domestically abused guy friend. We need something interesting here -- it's getting desperate.

greatwhitenorthchick

12-11-2009 03:33 PM

Re: McDouche is McOver

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sidd Finch (Post 410412)

Do you really need something to enhance your sex drive?

Gwink is just starting to understand how we feel ALL THE TIME.

Oh, come on. I've had many boyfriends and my sex drive has been higher than all of them. I get it. The reason I'm so happy with my current one is because he has as much as I do and he can do it 14x a day.

ABBAKiss

12-11-2009 03:38 PM

AA is Incestuous

Okay, I will try to streamline this. Even with the chaotic details you will be provided here I am leaving out a LOT of the drama and ick. Everyone below is in AA and attends the same meetings so is in frequent contact.

McDouche dated NiceGirl about 6 years ago for perhaps 10 months. He cheated on her and treated her like crap. She ended up in counseling over him for years. She eventually moved on, and moved to Louisiana.

ABBAKiss starts going to AA in 2006, while drinking every day for about 4 months. In March 2007, McDouche has a heart to heart with ABBKiss and convinces her to stop drinking. A torrid love affair begins.

Disgusting drama....BABYKiss...blahblahblah

NiceGirl moves back to MN and starts dating NiceHotGuy in 2008. NiceGirl and ABBAKiss become unlikely friends. They are much alike. They hang out, just the two of them and in groups that include NiceHotGuy.

ABBKiss and McDouche have chaos. NiceGirl dumps NiceHotGuy, or he dumps her, or anyway, they break up right before Thanksgiving. NiceHotGuy and ABBAKiss start talking....and hanging out...and McDouche causes a big scene when he finds NiceHotGuy at ABBAKiss's house.

So, anyway, now McDouche is all pissed (good, whatever) for various reasons. But ABBAKiss does not want to upset NiceGirl. She has now essentially taken two of NiceGirl's exes.

ABBAKiss needs to talk to NiceGirl about this. NiceGirl has no idea ABBAKiss and NiceHotGuy are dating.

Ideas on how to approach? And yes, all four of us are in the same meetings together, although this will likely have to change.

BTW, sorry about the third person. How annoying. Ick.

Oh -- and I have been drinking again. Only NiceHotGuy knows this. McDouche would FREAK if he knew.

So, CHAOS!!!!! :D

ABBAKiss

12-11-2009 03:39 PM

Re: McDouche is McOver

Quote:

Originally Posted by greatwhitenorthchick (Post 410450)

EXACTLY. You and I are a lot alike. We should probably hook up. Again. Hehehehe. JK BFF.

Fugee

12-11-2009 03:46 PM

Re: AA is Incestuous

Quote:

Originally Posted by ABBAKiss (Post 410453)

So, anyway, now McDouche is all pissed (good, whatever) for various reasons. But ABBAKiss does not want to upset NiceGirl. She has now essentially taken two of NiceGirl's exes.

ABBAKiss needs to talk to NiceGirl about this. NiceGirl has no idea ABBAKiss and NiceHotGuy are dating.

Ideas on how to approach? And yes, all four of us are in the same meetings together, although this will likely have to change.

Really depends on whether NiceGirl dumped NiceHotGuy or vice versa. If he dumped her, it's going to upset her no matter how you break it to her.

You might look for a nice hot guy who doesn't know McDouche and has never dated any of your friends. But no matter how it ends up, it's better than Sebby shaving his junk.

Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)

12-11-2009 03:47 PM

Re: AA is Incestuous

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fugee (Post 410455)

You might look for a nice hot guy who doesn't know McDouche and has never dated any of your friends. But no matter how it ends up, it's better than Sebby shaving his junk.

Yes, and perhaps AA isn't the place to meet, although evidently there are lots of hot guys there.

Adder

12-11-2009 03:52 PM

Re: McDouche is McOver

Quote:

Originally Posted by Did you just call me Coltrane? (Post 410448)

Are balls not considered part of your junk? I thought junk meant the whole package, no?

If you prefer to imagine the razor physically touching his junk, you should feel free to do so.

Adder

12-11-2009 03:58 PM

Re: AA is Incestuous

Quote:

Originally Posted by ABBAKiss (Post 410453)

I don't think I have much for advice on how to approach breaking the news to her, except to do it soon and honestly. Given McDouche's state of outrage, I guess I would be surprised if she didn't know already.

But do you think you should be in a relationship right now?

Flinty_McFlint

12-11-2009 03:59 PM

Re: AA is Incestuous

Quote:

Originally Posted by ABBAKiss (Post 410453)

Jesus fucking christ. Please call a good agent and get a reality show and promise to put some of the proceeds in a trust for your girl. I think you're beyond advice from imaginary friends.

Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)

12-11-2009 03:59 PM

Re: McDouche is McOver

Quote:

Originally Posted by Adder (Post 410460)

If you prefer to imagine the razor physically touching his junk, you should feel free to do so.

enough razor talk.

ETA: K-Swiss!

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