Heinz
 

This is quite possibly POTM, if not Y.

the rumours of my demise are greatly exaggerated
 

And from one of my socks. Coincidence? I think not.

Heinz
 

Like in a Texas elevator.

Inhale this
 

The scene is hilarious. I watched "Pumping Iron" when I was 17. Arnold has just won Mr. [Olympia? Universe?] for the 420th time and he's sitting back in a chair, wearing a shirt that says, in '70s iron-on print, "ARNOLD IS NUMERO UNO". (Someone find me THAT t-shirt) He's leaning back and smoking a HUGE joint. After he takes a hit, someone else thinks he's passing it. Arnold looks at him and tells him something like "No, it's ALL MINE." Just hilarious.

Even funnier though is when Arnold compares lifting weights to having an orgasm: "When I lift, it's like I'm cumming. I'm cumming in the morning; I'm cumming in the evening; It's like I'm cumming all the time!" In Bittersweet Motel, Trey (of Phish) quotes Arnold exactly when asked how he feels on stage, which if you've seen "Pumping Iron", is spit-out-your-drink funny. I almost peed my pants...

Inhale this
 

I saw Pumping Iron for the first time about six months ago, and found it surreal. I thought it was a mockumentary! I wonder how I would have responded if my sensibilities had not already been shaped by Spinal Tap and years of SNL parodies.

PI should be required viewing -- not just for California voters, but for anyone who wants to appreciate fully the antics of Robert (the fitness model) on Cupid. I feel more culturally literate for having seen it.

The Worst Surprise Party Ever
 

Let's just say 30 of your closest friends assemble for your surprise birthday party at a remote cabin and you find out about it.

Do you:

(a) tell a few of them you know and laugh into your grog,
(b) stubbornly refuse to go along with the pretext until they are forced to admit it, or
(c) decide to scare them by shooting a shotgun round into the air?

If you answered (c), be sure of your footing while your finger is still on that trigger or else your clumsy ass might send 7 friends to the hospital.

Heinz
 

Hot Topic is rad. It's so much easier to go in there and buy stuff without having to pop all the balloons for it.

Inhale this
 

Absolutely. Very surreal. And Arnold is funny. He's got a much better sense of humor than most people think. Running for Governor or not, it's something to see.

Who is Shape Shifter
 

I cannot decide if Shape Shifter is:

a) a relatively new poster about whom we know nothing;
b) an old timer with a new identity. Say a LookingforMarket or a IAmSpecial; or
c) a non Penske sock.

Anyone? And thanks for playing in advance.

The Simple Life
 

So I'm flipping through Seventeen at the Dr.'s office and come across this quote by ornamental heiress/party bimbo Paris Hilton on why she went to live with a family of hardscrabble farmers with an equally useless society pal for a reality TV show: "I did this to do something I'll never do. Like working on a farm. Or having a job."

Please, Lord, strike that vapid bitch with lightning now.

The Simple Life
 

One wonders how the family fortune is not already totally diluted a la the Kennedys and the Roosevelts, given the women the men in that family marry. Trash bimbos who think spending compulsively will make them classy.


But not to worry, PJ. If there is one thing that the Kaballah has taught me, its that what comes around goes around.

separated at birth?
 

I don't watch either show, but to me Alison looks exactly like Heather the internet deep throat girl, NTTAWT (i'd surf for a picture, but I still owe the IT people their monthly kickback)

And in twenty years on a bad hair day, she'll look like Sarah Jessica Parker, and yes, TISWWT. Ick.

Inhale this
 

http://cafeshops.com/cp/store.aspx?s=arnoldnumerouno

http://storetn.cafepress.com/3/7069353_F_store.jpg

also available in "wifebeater" style.
http://storetn.cafepress.com/8/7069428_F_store.jpg

The International Male has IM apparently
 

I was noticing in the Sept VF that many monarchs came to the US for college. Are they here for the education, or just for the young firm American breasticles? I mean, did Crown Prince Haakon of Norway really need a BA in polisci from Berkeley, Or did Prince Jean of France, after receiving a master's in philosophy from the Sorbonne and a master's in law from the University of Law and Economics in Paris, really need an MBA from Azusa Pacific University?

Should Princess Madeleine of Sweden wish to continue her education in the US (after receiving her degree in art history from the University of Stockholm) I will be happy to provide private tutoring services, whatever the subject, gratis. Noblisse oblige indeed.

The International Male has IM apparently
 

My brother went to college with the Crown Prince of Hungary. Said he was a nice guy, lived in Toronto, and had maybe been back to the homeland a couple of times. Apparently he leads a double life. Architect by day, monarch in waiting by night.