Didn't anybody notice "Mom seeks man to pee on her daughter"
 

I like to think that my criticism inspired you to come up with your LOL subject line, which I did not even notice until after I read "watersports" and had the same thought.

Edited to add: Shape Shifter noticed.

Mom seeks man to pee on her daughter
 

I wonder if any applicants think the urine test is just for drugs.

Starting a new sock parade
 

Yes, they should be. His neglectful dad apparently didn't introduce him to trojan man. Or bought him the expired ones when he did. And he doesn't have the catholic excuse.

Fried Phish
 

Not sure if this has been mentioned yet, but this story definitely proves a few things, namely:

1) Not only does the music of Phish suck, but their bass player is a pederast;
2) Choose your victims wisely; and
3) I'm guessing the Angels can stop selling crank out of 3rd Street since their operations for the next 10 years will be paid out of the profits generated by legions of granola concert goers.

not7yS

-------

A Phish on the Hook

Band's Bassist Gordon Accused Of Child Endangerment

NEW YORK -- A Phish is on the hook for endangering the welfare of a minor after he allegedly tried to take pictures of a young girl inside a deserted boathouse.

But following private conversations between the band's manager and the child's parents, there's a question about whether the band's bassist, Mike Gordon, will avoid facing that charge.

Gordon, 38, was arrested after being found late at night in a secluded area with a 9-year-old girl. The girl's parents raised an alarm when she disappeared from a backstage area at Jones Beach Theater. New York State Park Police say Gordon showed a different side after a concert last week by The Dead.

Investigators say Gordon -- who calls himself "Cactus" -- was an invited guest backstage at Jones Beach. He was not invited, they say, to take a 9-year-old girl to an isolated location behind the theater. "The area is actually like a work area for state employees who operate boats out of that area," said Maj. Richard O'Donnell, of the New York State Park Police. "It's a darkened area, not intended for public access." O'Donnell, who is the region's commanding officer, would not discuss what the bass player told officers when he was found with the child on a dock. But a police report obtained by NewsChannel 4 reveals "The defendant stated he wanted to take 'art photos' of the victim." Police confirm that Gordon has never been convicted of any crime. Law enforcement sources said that after the band member was arrested, he told officers, "I may have shown bad judgment, but I am not a pedophile."

The Law enforcement sources identify the girl's father as a leader of the Hell's Angels Motorcycle Club, whom they say had also been invited backstage to watch The Dead concert. Gordon was held for police by theater security "and the victim's father's associates -- which the police report decribes as other Hell's Angels members. When responding to a request for an interview, Phish's manager e-mailed a joint statement from Gordon and the child's parents that reads: "It is now clear to all involved that this was an unfortunate misunderstanding, and we look forward to putting this matter behind us." Later, in a conference call, the manager said Gordon's trying to "make amends" with the family. The girl's father added that "muckraking journalists should put the story to rest." Both declined to discuss whether the musician is paying compensation.

When asked by NewsChannel 4 if there was any reasonable explanation for Gordon to have been with the girl at 1:00 AM in a secluded boat house, Maj. O'Donnell of the State Park Police said "I have no explanation for it." The commander says he "absolutely" stands by the police investigation and has referred the bass player's boathouse rendezvous case to the Nassau County district attorney for prosecution. The DA's office says the evidence is being evaluated.

Regardless of whether Gordon has to face a judge next month, law-enforcement sources say unofficial justice was already delivered. The Hell's Angels, who detained Gordon for police, were not, the sources say, gentle with sensitive areas of the rock star's body.

Starting a new sock parade
 

But if a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate!

Starting a new sock parade
 

what about the 249,999,999 that lost the swimming race?

QE
 

That was an LOL moment. So was the one about the vagina leaving the room. Good times, good times.

Jai is a chameleon. He seems to be able to connect with the SG the best of all of them, but he does so by feigning a genuine interest in their deal. I also like the way he said "Mommy mommy" when they were talking about the GF's boobies. It made me think we could hang out together and have something to discuss.

The SG, by the way, only made it halfway to being the Vin Diesel they were making him into. There's no fucking way he was ever going to touch Kyan's six-stage facial cleansing regime after the taping.

As for the GF, oh my God she was so hot.* Why couldn't she have been Thurgreed's friend? I'd be on a plane to Staten Island right now so my boy TM could hook me up.

*Don't bother; none of these are links.

Starting a new sock parade
 

That raises a profound theological question. Atticus?

2002 Playboy Party School Rankings
 

Rollins is No. 3? I had to Google this school to even learn it was in Central Florida and that its most famous alum is Mr. Rogers. Is this Playboy's idea of a joke or should I be planning a trip to Winter Park, FL?

Fried Phish
 

Pedophile, not pederast. Pederasty is just with little boys, TAWWT.

Mom seeks man to pee on her daughter
 

I just did a google and saw the news feed from the local boston station. The family is very white trash, and so are the suitors. I counted at least 3 motorcycles in that driveway. But the daughter is shagadelic. Cute thin brunette who would clean up nicely and make someone a nice piece of arm candy if she never mentions anything about her background, previous breeding habits or anything else. They got some factory workers and a military guy, but no doctors or lawyers for suitors--is anyone surprised?

Some of the questions were the type that only a loser family would ask "what would you do if my daughter borrowed your new car to buy cigarettes and wrecked your car?" "would you help raise the (illigitimate) children?" With a mom and dad like that no wonder she grew up to date guys with tatoos and other sundry undesirables.

Perfect sideburns
 

I couldn't figure out who to address this to, but it seems like there are so many of you out there who would like to have perfect sideburns and perfect bangs. They look like torture devices, but click to see the assorted Perfect Sideburns.

metrosexuals need not apply

Reality Wank-a-thon
 

Spoilers, possibly, but you should know that by now:





For Love or Money - I'm bored.

QE - I'm bored.

BB4 - I'm bored.

Paradise Hotel - Still odly fascinated, but I should be bored.

Cupid - I have joined America in messing with these morons who decided to GET FUCKING MARRIED BY FUCKING AMERICA. Thus, I voted for Robert 10 times last night. You ask the people that watch Jerry Springer to choose your husband, you get what you asked for. Unlike American Idol and music, people don't get emotionally involved with rooting for their favorite man for a woman they don't know (and who has been shown in a boring manner).

This show encapsulates why reality TV is trending down - no one cares about most of it. We are bored with it. Twenty-Four reality shows this summer. Someone opens a restaurant. Whoop. Someone does a show about themselves doing a show. Whoop. Someone marries Lisa, Erin, Gary Coleman, someone's dad, meets their folks, or goes on yet another staged date. Whoop. Worst of all, it appears that the best show of the all - the Amazing Race - will not be renewed due to low ratings.

So join me in fucking with Lisa - vote Robert.

Mom seeks man to pee on her daughter
 

Any chance you could post a link for the google impaired?

Mom seeks man to pee on her daughter