More Cracker
 

What?

More Cracker
 

And what? Did I miss something?

Jesus Kills but SUVs Crush Better
 

First, a bunch of cultists from the Faith Temple Church of Apostolic Faith in Milwaukee (read evangelical Christians) kill an 8-year old autistic boy while trying to "faith heal" him - http://www.jsonline.com/news/metro/aug03/164521.asp - and then a 60-year old woman kills one and injures four others trying to parallel park her Ford Explorer in Wildwood Crest, New Jersey - http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/news/082...woodcrest.html .

Violent crime is at its lowest level in 30 years according to the FBI, but I'm not sure they are considering the correct statistics. They should be investigating these cracker-ass-crackers who believe in God and drive SUVs.

Bobby Brown Arrested, Again
 

This time while having a pleasant meal with innocent wife Whit:

http://www.cnn.com/2003/LAW/08/23/bo....ap/index.html

Doesn't *anybody* else think this guy should be cut a little slack for giving us the great "My Prerogative"?

P(seriously)J

Bobby Brown Arrested, Again
 

It's no Bust a Move.

Although the newscasters should have to pay the slack themselves, since it allows them always to report "it was not Bobby Brown's prerogative to [fill in the crime he most recently was charged with]"

Jesus Kills but SUVs Crush Better
 

Jesus christ in a sidecar - I'm a bad parallel parker, but I can't even imagine how you can be so bad at it as to KILL PEOPLE.

BR(I don't run people over unless I have the right of way)C

Jesus Kills but SUVs Crush Better
 

BRC: "Jesus christ in a sidecar"

Me: She was tutored by Lizzie Grubman with a sidecar.

More Cracker
 

The original line was "Yeah, but 0? That's not even trying to fake it."

In my head, I read, "Yeah, but an orgasm? That's not even trying to fake it." A few weeks (months?) ago someone posted about how you burn 600 calories (or something like that) in faking an orgasm, and there were conversations about how you could really get into great shape by faking orgasms and/or making fun of fat people, which was also rumored to burn fat.

Anyway, just a dumb comment that Cracker Barrell wouldn't fake it because it is not concerned with keeping in shape.

I need a vacation. Obviously.

The Restaurant
 

Speaking of which -did anyone watch The Restaurant last night? (I don't think spoiler space is nec for this). The camera kept going to this obnoxious kid surrounded by his not too attractive family - with the kid spouting obnoxious come-on lines to the waitresses and bad jokes (while goofy parents looked on adoringly). They must have connections with either NBC or Rocco the owner and staged this unbelievably forced debut thinking this was the kid's ticket to sit-com heaven.
Please club this kid like a baby seal and put him out of my misery!

Jesus Kills but SUVs Crush Better
 

RT moved to NJ?

I'm sure she'll blame it on a faulty accelerator that made it go when she was stepping on the brakes.

The Restaurant
 

Didn't watch, but the E! True Hollywood Story on The Real World had some interesting tidbits about Bunim and Murray's manipulation of the show and staging. Otherwise, it wasn't that good because they had no show footage or interviews with any production staff - it was cast members and TV "critics" only.

The Restaurant
 

Or, maybe, the restauranteurs (or producers) fucking hate obnoxious kids in restaurants whose parents permit them to make a nuisance of themselves to the staff and other diners, and so they highlighted the kid to set an example for other parents out there that NO ONE but you thinks your kid is cute in public?

Just a thought.

More Cracker
 

Wow. That was a huge leap of faith thinking we could get all that train of thought without any psychic abilities. Maybe try Vulcan mind meld next time.

More Cracker
 

But if paigwo had said it, it would have been brilliant.

Just Chillin' at the Ole Folks Home
 

No fucking here. Have I touched on some surefire method for getting the board all riled up? Maybe I should consuler my old fb notes. Anyway, I'm just trying to consider how to resolve two dilemmas, one of which I have already faced a few times, and one which I expect to face when I get married (assuming I can't get a fine lass like RT to elope with me):

[1] People who have only multiple, inexpensive items on their registries. Ok, do I buy two $40 serving sets or three? The most recent one was a wedding of a grad student friend of mine, attended heavily by friends of ours from undergrad, a lot of whom aren't making a ton of money. And the wedding was in a small town and couldn't have been that expensive. Of course he is not (or really, his wife is not) going to open the gift and think, look at this overbearing asshole, he bought us three serving sets, but I don't mind dropping $120 for a good friend's wedding gift, so what gives?

[2] I am not getting married any time soon, and I think that there's at least a decent possibility that, when I do marry, it will be to a professional woman about my age. And I already have nice (enough for me) silverware and similar house items, and I expect that any bride of mine may as well. So, am I some asshole if I only want to put stuff on the wedding registry that I (of course, I have seen how the registry process works, so I may be exxagerating the level of my involvement in the decisin-making process by tenfold) actually want, even if that means that there aren't a bunch of $30 dustmops and $60 table settings on there?

I think [2] makes me sound like some school girl, thinking about all the details of my future wedding. I think that comes from having been to a lot of shitty weddings where there was a lot of time to think about how I didn't want to have a shitty ass wedding. After you decide on no dollar dances(*) and the food and booze, you have to think about other stuff.

(*) My tally as an adult: 20 or so Midwest weddings, 10 or so not in the Midwest but in the U.S., 3 outside of the U.S. (one each of American couple, foreign couple and international couple). A couple of dollar dances in the Midwest, and one in one of the foreign weddings. They were military, though, so I think that implicates an already discussed factor.