Pet Peeve
 

YAY FOR PUBIC HAIR DISCUSSIONS! YAY!
________________
Pushy the Puppy
http://www.giantgenius.com/images/stock.jpg

Pet Peeve
 

What these guys don't realize is that it doesn't make their dick look bigger. It makes it look smaller. The people that hear this shit know that the only guys who do this are technically challenged and have not figured out how to use the voicemail (or a phone) and so they have their secretaries do it for them, rather than to admit they can't figure out this new fangled equipment. Reminds me of a former boss who couldn't figure out how to pick up messages from home. Read the fucking manual - you can learn a lot that way.

Pet Pubes
 

Congratulations. You made coffee come out of my nose.

Pet Peeve
 

Pubic hair grooming is just the tip of the iceberg. There are very few guys out there who won't discuss their balls at the drop of a hat...

Pet Peeve
 

YAY! Balls!

What exactly is there to say about them? They hang? They are good for teabaggin?

Pet Peeve
 

Now that they have that service where C-list celebrities will call you up on the phone, I think they should have a similar service for voicemail.

"Hi, this is Tina Yothers. Jack Manfred is unavailable to take your call, but if you leave your name and number at the tone, he will return your call promptly. If this is an emergency, please press 0 to be transferred to his secretary or Meredith Baxter-Birney."

I've seriously considered asking KCRW if they would have one of their DJ's do my work/home voicemail message in exchange for a pledge. Seems like a win/win.

Pet Peeve
 

Dear Paigow,

Balls are filled with semen and sometimes make children even when it is an accident and you have to run out on the woman you claim to love in order to dodge your responsibilities as a father especially if the act of dodging your responsibilities as a father is something you would be infinitely more capable of doing than actually raising your own children. At least that is what my mother always told me when we talked about balls.

Love,
Pushy the Puppy

P.S., I miss you very much, Paigow.
______________
Pushy the Puppy
http://www.giantgenius.com/images/stock.jpg

Pet Peeve
 

Size, shape, hairyness, reaction to water/cold. Whether the position one is sitting in is killing them; whether jeans he's wearing aren't giving him enough breathing room. Whether sitting bitch in the back seat of the car is causing him extreme pain b/c the other two guys have their legs spread so wide so THEIR balls can breathe.

For example, a buddy's ex-GF revealed to us that he has small balls. It's frequently brought up in conversation.

And the amount that they hang: one friend admits to his balls hanging VERY LOW (as his wife tells him). Also frequently discussed. "Oh, b/c your balls hang so low."

Ask a Stuped Question... or Nadir
 

Well, since you asked...

BIG BALLS
I'm ever upper class high society,
God's gift to ballroom notoriety,
I always fill my ballroom
(The event is never small)
The social pages say I've got
The biggest balls of all
Oh I've got big balls
I've got big balls
And they're such big balls
Dirty big balls
And he's got big balls
And she's got big balls
But we've got the biggest balls of them all
And my balls are always bouncing
My ballroom always full
And everybody cums and cums again
If your name is on the guest list
No-one can take you higher
Everybody says I've got
GREAT BALLS OF FIRE
Oh I've got big balls
repeat
Some balls are held for charity
And some for fancy dress
But when they're held for pleasure
They're the balls that I like best.
My balls are always bouncing
To the left and to the right
It's my belief that my big balls
Should be held every night
Oh I've got big balls
repeat
And I'm just itching to tell you about them
Oh we had such wonderful fun
Seafood cocktail, crabs, crayfish...
Ball sucker

S(AC/DC... goes perfect with nadirs)D

Pet Peeve
 

Holy crap. I think I liked you guys better when you were just scratching yourselves on the couch watching the Superbowl on the wide-screen TV.

Pet Peeve
 

Pet Peeve
 

And just as i hear the dulcet tones of Jack Handy as I read Pushy's sheer poetics, I hear the breathing of Darth Vadar as I thin kabout your repressed balls. the poor dears.

and i never heard taht term, "bitch in the backseat". Is that redneck for sitting on the hump?

Other Bon Mots and Deep Thoughts
 

Hate to play "Top the Timmy," but I saw the same program. On TNG, the second spouse to answer does so ORALLY, not on a card. They bleeped the "fanny" part. Maybe you're having a recovered memory from a really bad game of Pictionary or something. And it was 1977, not '71.

I'd never seen the clip before "I Love the '70s," but it is the stuff of schoolyard legend. In my mind's eye, she said rather unselfconsciously, "Well, Chuck, that would be in the butt."* In the clip, she was a lot more giggly, like she knew she was going to be bleeped but couldn't resist the setup line. I felt less sorry for her than the woman in my imaginary version. I think she knew what she was doing.

*Of course, in retrospect, this was entirely unlikely, since TNG was hosted by Bob Eubanks, not Chuck Barris or Chuck Woolery. Still, I think all game show hosts should be named "Chuck."

Pet Pube Peeve
 

Not so dude, bion (NEW ACRONYM ALERT-"BELIEVE IT OR NOT"), I'm a holdout.

Pet Peeve
 

Not to mention the length of the delayed reaction after being hit/kneed/accidentally struck in the balls before the unbelievably excruciating pain sets in...