POLL
 

Did you expect that the smoking would stunt her growth?

Underrated
 

Didn't she then go on Politically Incorrect to "debate" the issue with some other comedians and a representative from the Asian-American community?

Underrated
 

I was gonna get my husband some of that, but I was all outa you.:wink:

final word on subtotal/total tipping?
 

If they do it correctly, then it's unobjectionable.

Of course, most places don't, and they fill too fast for just the reason you suggest, or just pure idiocy (no, a wine glass is not the same as a beer stein).

If they fill too infrequently, I'm happy to insult them by pouring myself -- it's a silent "where were you?". Kind of like grabbing silverware off of an adjacent, empty table when the waiter entirely ignores your stares and arm waves requesting some attention.

Mmmm(and you don't need to leave the cork on the table for the entire meal, let alone 5 seconds)Burger

Underrated
 

No one REALLY cares about the race. The race is just a place for rednecks to get together and tell racist jokes w/out having to look over their shoulder.

So no, I don't like NASCAR.

Although the "Jeff Gordon is gay" (on Bob & Tom) song is funny, but not in the way they intended it to be...and I can't stand Bob & Tom...

Underrated
 

True, different types of comedy call for different types of comedians. But no matter how hard any woman tries, she can never, ever hope to be Tom Arnold.:bow:

POLL
 

Watching the Wrath of Khan. That inspired my great lust for Riccardo Montalban, which continues to this day. (Even if the chest was rumored to be prosthetic, he looked FINE.)

But, sexiness of boys, meaning guys I actually knew who were sort of my age? It was looking at the hands of this friend of mine. He had really long fingers, and his hands were really strong-looking with wood-knot looking knuckles and veiny. Quite sexy, I had a crush on him for a couple years for that. And that inspired my great lust for hands, which also continues to this day. I sometimes remember people's hands better than their faces. But I'm pretty bad with faces, which is awkward when you run into a client on the street.

Underrated
 

I saw her one-woman show "Jesus is Magic" last year after hearing rave reviews about it. I didn't think it was as funny as advertised.

This, however, would not be overrated... except for the nagging fact that Silverman is sleeping with Jimmy Kimmel, which shows a shocking lack of taste in both the looks and the humor department.

I don't think one commedian is responsible for the "women aren't funny" comment. It's pervasive among comics. Jerry Seinfeld once remarked that women are funnier than men, but that the funniest comics were men, much like women are better cooks than men, but the best chefs are men. Women still watched Seinfeld after that was published.

I've never liked Judy Tenuda, but back in the day, I thought Ellen DeGeneres and Paula Poundstone were funny. Trivia: Ellen was the first female comedian to be called over to sit on Carson on her first appearance. In retrospect, Paula's early act, with its frequent references to depression, suicide, and the possession of multiple cats, might have foreshadowed her descent into alcoholism and legal trouble. In further retrospect, I have to wonder if there was some special reason why I liked (then-closeted) lesbian commedians (I didn't even mind Rosie O'Donnell when she used to host that Stand-Up show.)

Edited to correct trivia timmy-ism

final word on subtotal/total tipping?
 

Me too. They promised us robots by now, didn't they? And flying cars and Moon colonies, too. Where are they, dammit?

Instead of that cool stuff, we got Starbucks soy chai latte and the O'Reilly Factor-ization of cable TV.

What ever happened to the future a la the Jetsons? Grumble.

POLL
 

So, is all of the furniture in your house covered in rich, Corinthian leather?

Underrated
 

Rosie O'Donnell was hilarious and quite sarcastic as a stand-up comedian before she went all Oprah and simpy. I like her better now that she's closer to the way she was. Great early routine about being a fat woman doing aerobics in a competitive perfect-body gym with a perfect little fascist instructor--swinging her arms and stepping in time chanting/hyperventilating, "I hate/your guts/you stupid skinny bitch!"

Elayne Boosler was also hilarious and take-no-prisoners. Where the hell is she?

Quibble Quobble, Robble Robble
 

I would never fight a hypo, of course.

OK, two meals at Perkins. One was just a pie trip with family, lasted about one hour. She came out, named what they had, made suggestions to the kids, patiently told them like five times what drinks they had, took two kids' change orders before she brought the food, brought us extra napkins and cleaned up one spilled pop, was cheerful and friendly the whole time (even though she was busy), boxed up leftover pie nicely, and gave us the check at just the right time. Made us feel welcome, gave us great service, kids had fun, etc. Check was about $26, tip was about $14.

Same place - a few friends - not busy - waitress made it obvious she didn't want to be there - messed up several orders - never got my milk (a perennial tip-killer) - slow - and then we waited and waited for check, and finally I went and found her - bill = $45 - tip = $0.

Mortons - me and two friends - great service (I'll spare the details) - we were there for about two hours - bill was about $100 - tip was about $25.

Same place - bill was about $230 - lousy service, steaks cooked wrong, veggies cold (no, not just the cold-serve veggies), wrong wine and no suggestion from waiter that he replace it, just "oh, sorry", salad gone within minutes of getting it because "steaks are ready", - no tip.

Looking at these samples, it seems like it's almost an hourly charge with me if the service is good. But, it's really an overall feel - how much better did they make my time?

POLL
 

Possibly slightly outable, but a relative-by-marriage made that ad. He said the ad was incredibly idiotic, but Mr. Montalban was lovely and courtly and was always pleasant and professional no matter how stupid the line he was given to recite. And this guy is an old ad exec who has been around for decades and doesn't have anything nice to say about ANYBODY.

Underrated
 

What about Margaret Cho? Wanda Sykes? And that lesbian comic who's been on comedy central and does the bit about wearing her purple bathing suit as a kid? What's her name? She's pretty funny.

POLL
 

Quien es mas macho? Ricardo Montalban o Fernando Llamas?

Montalban?

O Llamas?

POLL
 

When I heard Chrissie Hynde singing "Gonna use my arms, gonna use my legs. Gonna use my style, gonna use my sidestep. Gonna use my fingers, gonna use my, My, MY imagination," I was officially intrigued by women/girls. I wasn't initially sure how Chrissie was going to use her arms, fingers, etc. but I was willing to take her up on her offer. To be honest, until I looked up the lyrics to the song today, I could never figure out that whole "sidestep" thing. It didn't matter to me at the time, because whatever it was, it sounded sexy, and I figured that the arms, legs, fingers, and imagination would be more than enough.

Looking back at junior high, it's amazing how chaste things seemed with the real item. Nobody was really doing anything with the opposite sex at my school. Now it's blow jobs for everyone, apparently.

Underrated
 

Yeah, I hate people that live by prejudice and overbroad classification, too.

final word on subtotal/total tipping?
 

I'm with you. I always wanted a closet that would dress me.

And I wanted to be Jane Jetson. She was so out of George's league.

NB, I thought of you yesterday as I watched the original Sabrina on AMC. It was better than I remembered. And I take back what I said about Bogey in that movie.

And FYI, Dosoris Lane is real.

Underrated
 

And hyperbole.

POLL
 

Montalban. Porque el no tiene que demuestrelo.

Underrated
 

Yeah, but at least you can go into one of those hyperbolic chambers and get cured of that. (They overpressurize it, and it takes the little exaggeration bubbles out of your bloodstream before they kill you.)

Underrated
 

It's a disease. The worst disease ever. Worse than cancer.

Underrated
 

I think due to that law suit that was filed, my local mega-movie theater has stopped doing commercials right at start time for the movie. They've moved the commercials up to 20 minutes before the movie start time. At the listed start time, they start the previews.

Anyhow, when I went to see the X-Men, I saw a commercial for a series next fall called "America's Funniest Person" or something like that. I think that the premise is that there are going to be ten to 20 amateur comedians, and we get to do the American Idol type voting for them. The bits that they had in the commercial were pretty funny.

Edited to add that I looked it up and it's going to be called "Last Comic Standing," and it will be hosted by Jay Mohr.

Underrated
 

YES!! Wanda Sykes!! That was the one who had the bit about how next thing you know, they'll be letting us know that Tiger Woods is the new Grand Wizard of the KKK.


[Noting how he becomes less and less black (as a percentage) the more successful he becomes.]

Underrated
 

Tiger Woods is black?

Jack Black update
 

So, against my better judgment, I decided to purchase the Jack Black "Shave in a Bag" thing and all I can say is, I'm glad I don't often follow my better judgment. That stuff kicks ass.

Now, can we please go back to speaking English? Thanks.

final word on subtotal/total tipping?
 

No kidding. Of course, that is a common theme to TV shows -- think of Fred and Wilma, and Barney and Betty -- that continues to this day. I mean, Jim Belushi and Courtney? That guy from The Full Monty and Jami Gertz (who I fell in love with when I saw "Less Than Zero")? Please. Can you picture what people would say if, oh, Roseanne left John Goodman for George Clooney on her show? But I digress.

I'm glad you gave him a chance. Speaking of futuristic gizmos, I seem to recall that Linus had some nifty stuff in his office. And seeing William Holden hit on Audrey Hepburn when she gets back from Paris without realizing who she is still cracks me up.

final word on subtotal/total tipping?
 

Ralph Kramden? Dagwood? The list is endless, and has always been designed to keep us guys complacent - yeah, right, like I'm gonna find a Courtney. (Swoon.)

Underrated
 

I'll have to take your word for it. I can't remember a single joke by Elayne Boosler. She was so fugly it was distracting. Now, Rita Rudner, there was a late-80s comic I could really sink my teeth into. She was like a good-looking Steven Wright.

"Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be."

"Whenever I start dating a guy, I ask myself --- is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?"

"I'm afraid of childbirth. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do something that feels good for 36 hours."

Job Position for DS
 

DS, I've found the perfect position for you. I'm not quite sure what the pay is and you'll have to relocate, but I think you should look into it.

http://abcnews.go.com/wire/US/ap20030512_392.html

[Spree: Klingon Interpreter Sought for Patients
Oregon County Seeks Klingon Interpreter for Mental Health Patients]

TM

Underrated/Overrated Female Comics
 

Elayne Boosler may be available for your next special event!
(Spree: link to Elyane Boosler's agency, which has further links to her tour schedule)

She definitely falls into my overrated comic category. You know who's really funny? Margaret Cho's mom. After all, her mom is the one with the funny heavy Korean accent, and the bookstore with a gay clientele, and a different view of the world. Margaret Cho's mom should have a show on ABC.

What really bugs me about Margaret Cho is that she seems to be trying to cultivate a cult of personality. I think it's great that she supports LGBT issues, and that she's not a size 6 (or a size 10 for that matter), and that she's a woman of color in a profession that doesn't have many, but job 1 is to make me laugh. That's also job 2 and 3. In her one-woman shows, she gets a little too preachy and motivational-speaker for my taste. All of the people who go to comedy shows to be "empowered" should be diverted accidentally to a Richard Belzer show the day after Richard gets dropped by Law & Order: SVU and gets an audit notice from the IRS. (Belzer was notorious for being rEdiculously cruel to hecklers and others in the audience.)

FWIW, I also like Wendy Liebman, master of the throwaway line. She's very funny. "I'm old fashioned. I like it when the man pays....for sex."

POLL
 

Against the wishes of my parents, I went to a Blondie concert in 1980 (I think, perhaps 1981) at this small venue in Toronto- we were pretty close to the stage. Anyway, she was just the sexiest thing I had ever seen in person before - she was all kind of blonde and dangerous and angry and powerful. So it was very exciting and something sort of clicked and generally after that my horse looked less interesting and the boys in school looked a little more interesting.

Unfortunately the only thing going in the town I grew up is hockey so almost as a default hockey players became the main focus of my budding wanton desires - and that has been a little hard to shake. I still think Deborah Harry's hot - she just hasn't aged all that well though.

POLL
 

I had no idea that's what she was singing. "Sidestep," really? You learn something new every day.

Job Position for DS
 

Very cool. Now I've got something to show those kill-joys who ridicule the study of languages as common as Latin just because its a "dead" language.

BR(I understand that Klingon is pretty easy to learn, though I admit I haven't tried. I should hit the web and get a few useful phrases.)C

POLL
 

I always thought she was singing "gonna use my sassy." This impression was formed before I knew enough to realize that Chrissy Hynde is pretty unlikely ever to use the word "sassy."

I also thought Michael Jackson was singing "shake your body like a toothbrush."

POLL
 

I don't remember the exact moment, but I viscerally recall realizing in 5th grade that I could not stop looking/staring at girl's TITS, such as they were or weren't. They were fascinating to me, and I knew I was being rude in not being able to maintain eye contact, but I nonetheless could not control it.

Not much has changed.

Job Position for DS
 

OK, I just foung 4,000 klingon phrase books on the web. Now I'm just scared.

(nuqDaq 'oH puchpa' 'e' = where is the bathroom)

POLL
 

Freaky, I have not thought about this for almost 20 years.

My first crush was on my swimming coach. I was 11 or 12 -- his name was Tad and he was dreamy. He could have been no more than 17. My mother and my aunts were tickled and teased me mercilessly. I can still remember that hairless chest as he helped me work on my breaststroke.

My first "boyfriend" was when I was 13. Our mothers were friends so we spent a lot of time together at their beach house or sailing. I would accompany our mothers to watch him play basketball for his school and dutifully cheer. He was a gorgeous blond surfer type, and our mothers held out hope for decades that we would get back together.

No surprise then that once I started to date, I dated athletes.

POLL
 

I was scrolling the posts really quickly to catch up and this caught my eye. My speed reading led me to gather the following from your post:

BRC is bad with feces.
BRC may throw feces at clients she runs into on the street?
Why the hell does BRC have issues with her clients' feces?

So I read the entire post again, again just skimming, and had the same questions. I need new contacts. Or I need to take a course in reading comprehension.

final word on subtotal/total tipping?
 

I was a waitron for 2 years. When I was in a bad mood/hungover/didn't want to be there and served like a robot, bad tips. When I served like a human being and interacted with my customers, much better tips.

I hated wearing that Flair.