Reduced Fares
 

Exit row seating, perhaps? Not allowed there.

not sure why they care about 2-11. i know that there is an oxygen mask issue, i.e., there are only certain rows on the plane with more oxygen masks then seats and so there is a limit on each flight for how many lap children can fly in case they actually need to use the oxygen.

I normally ride on an air freight rate, but I'd never recommend it unless you get the casket with the comfy padding on the bottom.

You are supposed to trade off using the oxygen with someone else. Don't you listen to the spiel?

Yeah, but that 3 y.o. next to me might not have gotten the sharing lessons. What are you going to do, rip an oxygen mask off of a 3yo with a plane-load of people watching? Child killer!

There are oxygen masks equal to the number of seats. Thus, if it were a 3yo, per dtb there would be enough masks because the kid has to have its own seat. Assuming you meant a younger child that would not have to have its own seat, if there aren't enough oxygen masks, it is because the kid is sitting in the lap of a parent. In that case, the kid would get its own mask and you would share with the parent.

This is why they need to administer a parent test before allowing people to have kids.

Of course, it goes without saying that I would rip the oxygen mask of a kid's face. Especially if the kid were like, disabled or something.

tick tock
 

hpw come you don't worry if this is wasting people's time?

I meant lap children. at least on Alaska we've been moved because we were in a row that had only 3 masks when there were four of us and that was the explanation given. besides, the spiel doesn't say to share with kids it says put your mask on first and then help the kid.

good call though on taking the mask from the disabled kid. that's a given.

tick tock
 

because I'm not inducing them to spend time traveling to read my stuff. I put it where you can easily access it, and you don't have to read it if you don't want to. Hank.

tick tock
 

Why so defensive?
Its usually quite fun to read your posts, and all i was doing was pointing out that it is likely the realtor wil enjoy the opportunity to spend some time with you also.

tick tock
 

POTD, Parent's Board Division.

tick tock
 

Is that like being named African-American Of The Year, in Maine?

tick tock
 

I'm sure Not Me will tell us shortly.

Bad Dad, Part II
 

It sounds like a wonderful opportunity. If, in a couple of years, she has amassed a nice portfolio of professional acting work, it would certainly set her apart from the plebeians in the applicant pool for Phillips Andover (and later Harvard), I'm sure.

On newer planes, all rows have four masks each. But that still means only one lap kid per row, which can be a pain in the ass (think twins).

The exit row guess is a good one for the 2-11 question, but you have to be 16 to sit in an exit row. (I am all about the exit row - I will rat out any kid I see sitting in the exit row and gleefully take his seat. This happens with distressing regularity, looking at it from a safety perspective - maybe 1 out every 3 times I fly.)

I've been told, for years, that there can be no "lap kids" on planes, by Northwest and by American, because of fed rules. Were they just scamming me to make me buy a ticket?

Kids on planes and on stage
 

Could also be an administrative hold-over from when they had kid fares, or there might be some reason they want to give flight attendants fair warning (or, if there are a lot of kids on a flight, even put another attendant on).

I can't imagine that it is a seating arrangement issue - on most flights I've taken in the last 2 years, the total pre-take-off consideration of the seating arrangements consists of "sit down in your randomly assigned seat right this second so we can get a head count and check you all against our passenger list and get the hell out of here. If you want to change seats we can discuss it after take off."

Regarding the possible acting job, I'd say let her go for it if she's interested. It would be nice if it were a smaller job to start with, but there is no better way to tell if she actually has adequate ability or interest to pusue acting more seriously than letting her jump in and give it a try. Having her work with someone who is a friend and knows her will make it a lot easier.

I wouldn't worry much about her turning into some horrible Jon-Benet monster if she takes to acting, frankly. I've known a lot of people who did a fair bit of acting, both professionally and not, as kids (myself included, starting at about 7), and even the ones who went into the life didn't come out any more warped than anyone else (now, the musicians were a different story). Also, even non-ambitious parents thinking about their kid acting tend to miss the reality of being an actor: she's not going to be the next Macaulay Culkin or the Olsen twins, and if she follows this interest diligently, even if she is super-talented and goes into acting professionally with a great deal of success, that with almost complete certainty will mean doing local commercials and theater projects and maybe small parts in minor films. If she's interested and good enough to really do something with it, and her parents aren't letting the little ego get out of hand (or encouraging it), it strikes me as being little different from encouraging her to pursue a talent for sports, which can also involve significant time committments, attention, special treatment, etc., and which isn't that hard to cope with if parents use a little common sense.

Actually, if you'd like a pretty amusing look at what the life of real highly-successful actors are like, I suggest Bruce Campbell's autobiography, which was recommended to me by one of my now-pro actor friends. Keep in mind that he is probably in the top 3-5% of "most successful actors in America" - after decades of work it pays his rent.

Incidentally, I informed the partners I'm working for and the assigning attorney of my expectation about a month and a half ago, when I hit 4 months. No one else mentioned anything, so I told my secretary about a month ago. Still nothing; apparently no one gossips at my firm. Anyhow, I apparently finally started to show in the last week or so, and so far the only snide comments have been in the "are you, or do you need to lay off the Cheetos?" vein, though there is a certain amount of incredulous shock in the eyes of some people in my department.

Budding Actress/Pea Soup
 

You might also consider the specific film under consideration and the filming environment. Our neighbor's kid was supposed to have had the Linda Blair role in The Excorcist but the parents decided against it because they felt there was something *extra* disturbing about the horror flick (even though the child was in real life older than the age of the child she would have played). Considering that film set the standard for childhood nightmares (damn if I don't still have nightmares that I am "possessed"), I think they made the right decision.

http://www.houseofhorrors.com/linda4.jpg

I Heart Boohbah
http://www.boohbah.com/zone.html

They still let in kids under two. I recently read an article (sorry, no cite handy) that discussed a controversial new proposal to require seats for those under 2; basicly Congress recently head testimony from CDC experts that this would be a horrible thing for safety: if even a small percentage of families decide to drive instead of fly, far more kids will die due to the massive disparity in the dangers of travel by automobile vs. airplane, and this increase in road deaths far outweighs any potential advantage of having an infant in a car seat on the plane.

I don't think the proposal or the study are very recent, I learned about them in law school. The airlines first tried to institute the policy not so much as a matter of child safety (though it was that, too) but as a matter of general passenger and crew safety - babes in arms are commonly referred to by flight crews as "bombs" because of their tendency to fly through the air and blast into passengers at head-level in turbulence. This is obviously not good for the children, but also endangers the safety of everyone else on the plane. A small percentage of families opting for road-trips to avoid the added air fare, resulting in more traffic and thus more highway pile-ups, was found to cause more injuries (to everyone, not just children) than airborne infant projectiles, but I am not sure that the numbers worked the same way if you are just looking at risk to children, since the risk of injury to children on laps in planes is actually a lot higher than you'd think.

Bad Dad, Part II
 

FWIW - My best childhood friend had a similar role in a hollywood film when he was 9 (we met at age 10). He was a bright, friendly, mature child. In high school he announced he was gay. His father rejected him. He died of aids at 23. Probably not related.

But, totally true story.

Hey there. I'm not MIA, just too tired to post lately. The Lexling is wonderful - 95th percentile of bigness, both longways and wideways. He's almost 10weeks - wow time flies. He's a good baby, though the child is a little fartmonster and he is inconsolable sometimes due to gas. Not sure if I've been eating something to upset his stomach or not - it doesn't seem to correlate with any specific food. Mylicon seems to take the edge off, but doesn't solve the problem. Any suggestions are appreciated.

I am officially a stay-at-home-litigator - the firm I was doing contract work for sent me an email dumping me last week (nice. an email.) but it turns out I am more than OK with it. I have enough work of my own to keep me going and now I can avoid the dreaded day-care problem for a while longer - and the commute! (I have a granny-type neighbor who will watch him when I'm in court/meeting clients.) I'm looking into getting a HS kid for afternoons while I work at home once I take in more work. Ideas on how to stay connected with the outside world?

-T(I so need a maid!)L

Using formula? Switch brands/types. We had the same problem, and this cleared it up. Worst case, if it's a milk problem, you may need to switch to the meat-based stuff.

Concur on the formula thing - switching to Good Start really helped the baltspawn, even when they were only taking one bottle a day and otherwise breastfeeding.

Their gas seemed to peek between 3-6 months, then just got better on its own. We only used the Mylicon to treat. Otherwise, you just have to ride it out.

That completely sucks about the e-mail. Couple of things the baltspouse has done to stay connected with the outside world: find & join a network of mothers who do playgroups*; join the local bar association and go to functions; find a really good babysitter and get out. Finally, (and I hesitate to bring this up here, but oh well), if you are in any way remotely so inclined, join and start attending a church or temple. It is a great place to interact with other adults in a context where the children can be around, but not dominate the environment.

* ways to do this: Gymboree / baby gym classes (try to YMCA, your gym or local community associations), keep in touch with the people from birth class, and churches / community centers.

Babysitter Blues
 

I am sure you are all sick of my woes, so I am sorry to rant yet again:

After going through the trauma of hiring a new Nanny, I observe Vietbabe is not really bonded with her and in fact pulls away from her and whines (contrast: even with complete strangers, she is charming). Today I see maybe why: after arriving late at 8:15 am, Nanny is in living room with Vietbabe. I'm working from home. I go downstairs around 9:30 am because I keep hearing Vietbabe's voice but not the Nanny's. Nanny is fast asleep on the couch as Vietbabe runs around. She is sleeping sitting up. I see Vietbabe walk over to her and hand her a kid's book. The Nanny wakes up with a start, takes the book that is outstretched to her, and then puts it down. Then she looks up and sees me on the stairs. She stammers some bullshit about her eyes being sore and do I have any drops for sore eyes (like I don't know a sleeping person when I see it and didn't catch z's during property law in LS).

Have a gal who's pinch-hitted for me, is currently employed as a Nanny, Vietbabe loves her and so do I. She is just what we need. I want to hire her, but she can't start until 2 weeks. Do I keep the current Nanny until then? Or do I try to find a temporary replacement as soon as possible?

This sucks.

I'm only using formula a couple times a week, if that, so maybe he's just extra sensitive to something I'm eating. Oh, well.

To Vietmom - Assuming she is not sleeping all the time and was just having a really bad day that day, keep her for two weeks - it will be less stressful for you than hiring an interim babysitter who may not be any better and it will confuse the baby even more to play musical nannies if you don't have to. It would be nice to give the current nanny a week notice - just don't send it by email. I shoudl add that I missed the previous nanny switching, so I'm not up to date on th situation.

-TL

Hey Tex Lex. I had a gassy babe too. Switching to Nutramigen helped. Rocking and walking with her helped too. I swear by Mylicon.

Thanks for the Nanny advice. I am really not comfortable at all with this lady, who has been with us for a week already. She has the TV on all day, isn't talking to Vietbabe, isn't cleaning up, sort of "yells" at Vietbabe, but the worst is that Vietbabe just recoils from her absolutely. I will try to stick it out two weeks and I guess hand her a week's pay on a Friday and say she's fired. Two weeks seems like so far away. I just put Vietbabe down for a nap because I heard her crying in a way I have NEVER heard her cry before. It was eerie. She really dislikes this Nanny. I have never seen her dislike ANYONE. Bottom line: she's been late every single day, and lazies around the living room all day and Vietbabe hates her.

Holy moly - you've only had her a week and she's pulling this? She should be on her best behavior for at last a month, you'd think. Sometimes kids can tell what someone is really all about when we can't. I'm not sure I would keep her for the 2 wks after all. I'd lend you my granny neighbor to watch her for the next few weeks if you were here - she's awesome (and free!). Good luck. BTW, how old is VB now?

-TL

Go with your gut. Toss the girl.

When Native Son was about 2 his daycare lady (whom I and son loved) had to go out of business. His new lady was friendly and chummy with me but son's behavior soon started to change. I moved him to a new lady who lived near and knew that lady. Son's behavior went back to normal. After a few months new lady told me that previous lady told her about what a 'spoiled brat' my son was and that she would 'discipline' him by taking away his baby (stuffed bunny) and letting the other children beat it. I still feel terribly guilty (7 yrs later) that son had to go through a couple months of that treatment before I tuned into the situation.

Vietbabe is telling you that something is wrong. Please listen.

Bad Dad, Part II
 

Sure, isn't this how Gwyneth Paltrow got her start? Her "Uncle Morty" (Steven Spielberg) gave her a part in one of his movies. I want to say "Hook" but I didn't see it so I don't remember if that's right. Of course, encouraging your daughter's acting career increases the risk that you'll end up with a rocker son-in-law someday, but ymmv.

As to the gas problem, this is sort of weird, but when the Brazenette was little, she often got gas first thing in the morning. I found that if I laid her on her back and brought her legs up towards her head (sort of like how you do when you change a diaper), I could help her fart. Like the doubling of her body seemed to put just the right pressure on her belly to help the gas squeeze out. It seemed to bring her a lot of relief, and by 6 months or so she'd learned how to fart all on her own. I am so proud.

As to the outside world, I agree with the suggestion to try Gymboree/My Gym/My Little Gym. The Brazenette goes to both Gymboree and My Gym weekly and both have done tons for her development and have helped me to build a support network of other mommies.

In Bikram-style yoga, we call this "Wind-Removing Pose." I'm sure there are other, less delicate terms in other schools of yoga.

the "airplane baby" worked well for us for a hugely colicy, gassy infant: hold your left arm across your chest, lay baby down with em's stomach on your arm- you will be supporting the head with your arm; your hand will come out between baby's legs. Somehow, the belly-down posture, combined with still being held relatively close, helps a lot. And you can walk around the house and do other stuff with your right hand.

Glad you and the new one are happy and well (gas notwithstanding)

Babysitter Blues
 

Fire her, now. It actually doesn't matter if you are right or wrong- she's watching your baby, and you (and viet babe) are not comfortable with her. The few days that your life is disrupted finding a replacement are nothing.

Ain't parenting grand???

parental leave policies
 

I've been asked by a newbie (hi!) to ask for information about firm's policies re parental leave. If you don't feel comfortable posting about it, PM me and I will sanitize it.

parental leave policies
 

Formal policy -- there is a child care leave policy for the primary caregiver; 2 weeks paid on top of 4 weeks paid vacation, 6 to 8 weeks unpaid. My bet is we're average to below in the Boston market as far as formal policies go (I know of some who have a formal leave for non-primary care giver).

Reality -- men are rarely for a week after their kid is born, but usually after a day or two are checking in from home fairly frequently. Some take two or three weeks then, some hold off and take time later. No one ever seems to count time off here, as long as you have a workaholic reputation when around. On an informal basis, people do take time and we're probably more liberal than most in this market.

parental leave policies
 

biglaw boston: 12 weeks paid (and annualized for purposes of computing billable hours for comp year) maternity; this is under short term disability, therefore independent of vacation time; there is a paid and annualized paternity leave as well, but I don't know how long.

You didn't break the board- we just seem to have these long lapses in conversation.

how is everyone?

Babysitter Blues
 

I didn't really think things were bad, but rather, the Nanny probably watched too much TV and maybe Vietbabe just didn't like her. I had caught her "nodding off" on the couch once but that was it. But I took this advice you gave (as well as the other posters, especially the one whose child had his bunny toy beaten up at the behest of the sitter and said "listen to your child") and hired a new gal who can't start until start Feb. 9. I figured I could at least leave today to go for the office a few hours. I did. But first turned on the Nanny Cam that arrived at 6 am this morning and which I set up.

The footage was shocking. I don't want to say more, except that I just finished watching 6 hours of my child sobbing pathetically (for good reason) in a corner -- a place I was actually happy to see the Nanny keep her in after witnessing the results of the three attempts at contact my daughter made with her. Will be working through with family re: what to do next.

Thanks for giving me the guts to do this. Obviously, I am going to recommend that EVERYONE with childcare get a Nanny Cam, if only to watch how your child spends ONE DAY. Fuck privacy.

Babysitter Blues
 

That's just absolutely awful. I am so sorry.