Casting Call
 

I didn't realize that I had a friend that worked for ABC.

I just got the following e-mail, if you wish to respond, shoot me an e-mail or a PM and I'll give you the e-mail address. I'll keep all requests for the address confidential.

Got What in Pocket?
 

As this has become an issue, I thought it best to provide a cite: Lyrrics to "Brass in Pocket" from Pretenders fansite.

Like Paigow, I thought she was singing something like "sassy," but the sidestep line fits in with her "new skank, it's so reet" so I'll trust Chrissie's judgment.

Back when the punks listened to reggae...

He's surely not running to get away with your $200, since the bulk of his work is done. (The painting is probably 1/4 of the total.) Like most people who do such work cheap, he's probably usually broke and just got his phone cancelled. Try to reach him a few times via short, nice notes, and, if you have no luck, call MAACO or someone like them and ask how much they would charge to just paint in the spot. By the time you do what you would have to do in order to track down and threaten this guy, . . . well, it would be a very inefficient use of your time. Plus, threaten him, and you just know the paint job will be high quality.

Casting Call
 

If c2ed became the next Bachelorette, that could be the most meta experience of our collective lives.

Paging PLF
 

Guy calls cops to report his stolen gun and dope

A new Smoking Gun candidate for future Darwin awards events.

Job Position for DS
 

Heck, I'm beginning to think they should be providing services in Klingon. If Google does it, why not?

http://www.google.com/intl/xx-klingon/

[spree: Google, in Klingon.]

Attention Hockey People
 

Here's a question. I've never heard it discussed, but it has to have been at some point.

Why don't hockey teams hire a gigantic fattie -- how about that black sumo wrestler, Emanuel Yarbrough -- and just plop him in front of the goal? All he would have to do is move his arm here and there to stop shots from entering the 6 inches of open net. Not Bob? GWNC? Bueller? Anyone? It would be the equivalent of Manute Bol in the NBA or Eddie Gaedel in baseball.

Look at this picture. Look at it! Don't turn away! LOOK!

http://www.tribuneindia.com/2002/20020404/sp8.jpg

I need to know why this couldn't work.

Thurgreed(and that kid E/O saw on tv would have a bright future and his parents would be praised for doing what it took to make him a success)Marshall

"Coupling" Comes to NBC
 

Relocation to Chicago didn't seem to hurt "High Fidelity" much.

Among the BBC programs that, if remade, will result in the death of a television executive at my hands, are "The Office" (because some dumbshit will add a laugh track, and Americans don't have a preexisting base of non-gameshow reality television to parody, so no one will get the jokes), "Ground Force" (which ain't gonna happen, because Americans suck at gardening and don't care); and "Ballykissangel" (which technically already happened, with PAX's "Hope Island," but no one has ever seen that, because let's face it, I'm not gonna watch a network that gave Billy Ray Cyrus a series in which he plays a fucking doctor, for chrissakes).

They can have at "Manchild," "Coupling," and "AbFab" for all I care, as long as they don't try to remake "Fawlty Towers."

Has anyone watched "Monarch of the Glen"? I haven't had time for it, but now that Buffy's gone, I've got a free hour per week, and I think I've forgotten how to read.

Question for DS
 

Is your avatar that chick from Missing Persons (Do you hear me? Do you care? What are words for?)? And if so, is that a reference to your former AWOL status?

Got What in Pocket?
 

I am so hurt. You left me out completely. See post #5587.

Edited to add what does "new skank, it's so reet" mean?

Attention Hockey People
 

There are size restrictions on goalie equipment. Arguably he would be too big for it.

Other than that, seems like a good idea, although he would definitely sprawl at some time or another, and it would take him so long to get back up that the other team could easily score. Probably wouldn't play the puck too well either because he would probably move very slowly.

Question for DS
 

No, it's the alien chick from Mars Attacks.

I just fancied it.

Attention Hockey People
 

His skates would sink into the ice, trapping him there for all eternity, and ruling out his playing in away games. Eventually, (since food is normally not allowed on the ice), he would begin starving, lose lots of weight, and the goal would become uncovered. His skates would still be stuck, however, and so the team would not be able to change him out. They would have this starving and lethargic stick man with huge folds of saggy empty skin gazing helplessly and vacuously at the pucks as they whizzed past him. Not only would the team lose, he would be incredibly ugly by that time, and ticket sales would suffer because, after all, who wants to see that?

Attention Hockey People
 

I think part of the problem is that you'd have trouble willing to find someone to do it. Why? Because there are goalie equipment size restrictions that are tied to the absolute size of the equipment, not the size of the goalie. In other words, the guy in the picture would have a chest protector that covered only about half of this chest. The other half would be exposed to whatever slapslots Messrs. Lidstrom, McInnis et al. decide to send his way. By the way, I'm just talking out of my ass on this one -- I'm too lazy to go look up the NHL rule book. But I recall that gloves and blockers have to comply to size reqs.

str(making no apologies for band camp stories that involve hot redhead twins)8

C.R.E.A.M.
 

http://money.cnn.com/2003/05/13/news...y/20_front.jpg

New design for the $20. I didn't realize they had blowdryers in Andrew Jackson's day. He looks exactly how I'd envisioned Uncle Andrew (how apropos!) from "The Magician's Nephew" when I was a kid. Or a cross between Jason Robards and Edward Scissorhands.

That said, I think adding color to folding money is long overdue.

"Coupling" Comes to NBC
 

American versions of excellent British comedies:
Coupling - hmmm, Friends with more sex?
Manchild - I see the SNL skit about the sportwriters. "Da Bears."
Monarch of the Glen - nah, we couldn't do it, unless it was set in the South and the family is trying to preserve what's left of the 'ol plantation

C.R.E.A.M.
 

He sort of looks like an older gentleman you might find at one of the drinking establishments in the Castro.

Fatness and Health Problems
 

Ewwwww.

Now, imagine Yarbrough that fatness at age 4 and you'll get a sense of why the Dr. Phil kid was so sad and his family's behavior was so horrifying.

On a mildly related note, when the OM went to see the doctor for his big physical and blood work (over my freakout re: his smoking and health), he was diagnosed with slightly high blood pressure.

The doctor explained that all high blood pressure can cause cumulative damage to the heart muscle and should be treated. They put him on diuretics. The doctor also told him that quitting smoking or dropping five pounds would not do anything to lower his blood pressure. (In fact, he dropped eight pounds from his physical to his first month follow-up and his blood pressure had not changed.)

This is a long way of saying, everyone needs to have an annual physical, no matter how fit you are.

Attention Hockey People
 

For the pads, yes. But there can't be restrictions on clothing size, right? That would violate the spirit of the rule.

I think him lying down would be the same as him sitting there. 90% of the goal would be covered. And the pads on his arms would make up for his slowness. He would only have to cover a very small percentage of the actual net with reaction time.

I should be a GM.

TM

"Coupling" Comes to NBC
 

Another "The Office" fan. Atticus, I love yooooooooooooouuuu.

:kisscheek

C.R.E.A.M.
 

Post #5649


quote:
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Originally posted by paigowprincess

He sort of looks like an older gentleman you might find at one of the drinking establishments in the Castro.

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... or a few of the equities in my firm who are still locked in the '70's with the blow-dry hair do.

Attention Hockey People
 

I smell an ADA suit a la Casey Martin.

Attention Hockey People
 

I'm not conceding that it would work, but if it did, the NHL would not go for it - it would increase the size of the net or something. The last thing the NHL wants is lower-scoring games.

Speaking of which, internationally I think all championship OT is now 4 on 4. The NHL should carry that into the playoffs. There's no way what is happening right now can continue. Ottawa is the only team left now that is exciting - that's pathetic.

And now that we're on hockey, if anyone cares, unlike what the call in shows etc are saying, Brodeur is not having an affair with his wife's sister. It's his wife's brother's wife.

Attention Hockey People
 

the real problem would be late in the game, his team down a goal, and he has to quickly leave the ice so an extra skater can come on........

Attention Hockey People
 

Couldn't he subsist on the octupus (octupi?) thrown on the ice?

Whip out a DTPA demand letter from the law office of RT listing the nasty penalties, etc. It should get his attention and if it doesn't, nothing will. It'll cost you $4.20 and it's worth that to blow off some steam before you take it to maaco.

GL,
-TL

Attention Hockey People
 

Or they could start making the ice out of frozen Gatorade. He could chip it around the net and have a little snack now and then.

There is no solution.
 

The thought of it makes me shudder because it would remove from my list one of the main focus groups of my teasing and torment. This is just one more goup that is a product of our "blame someone else" "it isn't my fault" society. We spend healthcare dollars that could be finding a cure for a real disease trying to find an excuse for these fatties. There is only one explanation, they are lazy people who cannot control their own fucking eating!

Hey, we all do bad shit but it is the unwillingness to accept responsbility that pisses me off. If my liver falls out or I get lung cancer I have nobody to blame but myself -- I would be embarrassed to say that I wasn't smart enough to know that drink and smoke could kill me. These people sit around filling their faces with greasy, salty and sugary foods until the only way to describe them is "round" and then they wanna blame the people who made the food. Like you didn't know eating 4 super value meals at lunch would make you fat? Like you didn't see the pounds piling on and connect the two?

And then they try all of these late-night advertised fucking weight-loss tricks and then wanna sue the manufacturers because they don't work. Of course they don't work you fat piece of shit because anything that promises weight-loss while you sit on the couch and eat a large pizza is fucking lying. Even the good ones won't work unless you use them and QUIT FUCKING EATING SO DAMN MUCH!!

Didn't mean to go off but you know I just get pissed that smokers have been forced out into the streets and now out of the bars and restaurants and yet I still have to look at fatties everywhere I go (can't they have a special section at restaurants so I do not have to see that shit?) and nobody complains about all of the health costs the states will be enduring because these people will not get off of their fucking fat asses and take care of themselves.

Attention Hockey People
 

Are there enough people that big? And I know Bilmore's comment about them getting stuck in the ice because of the skates was a joke, but they do actually have to wear skates. And skate at least occasionally. That, I think, would be the kicker.

Although I like your 4 on 4 idea, I have to disagree with you about the excitement. Did you watch the Ducks and the Wild last night? There were odd man (hi e/o!) rushes, breakways, killer saves by both Jiggy and Rollie, and two shorthanded goals. You are right that the Senators' offense -- when they are on -- is simply a thing of beauty, but I loved last night's game.

Well, I'm glad we got that sorted out. Speaking of goalies, it sounds like Mister Bean may not come back from the Czech Republic after hearing what Not Bobby Clarke had to say. More sturm und drang for the Pumpkin Orange. Perhaps Not Bobby thought that Roman hired Lindros' father as an agent or something.

"Coupling" Comes to NBC
 

Not to mention that those Brits only have yards the size of like my little side-yard patio garden. You would need at least a week on the average American yard.

Should they ever remake and American-ize "Red Dwarf" or "The Young Ones" I will shoot someone. They might be able to get away with a remake of "Keeping Up Appearances" but "Are you Being Served?" would be tough.

There is no solution.
 

I think your argument that overweight people should be banned from public viewing because smokers aren't permitted to pollute the insides of public buildings and other people's lungs is simply brilliant.

-TL :rolleyes:

Attention Hockey People
 

I'm not a fan of that rule. It strikes me as particularly strange to change a fundamental rule of the game solely for overtime. If 4 on 4 hockey is better, then they should use it all the time (don't they still have the Oilers rule -- matching penalties still result in 5 on 5 play?). Really what they need to do is expand all the rinks a few feet, although I don't know if that's feasible without major reconstruction.

Attention Hockey People
 

I think the quality of the game would go down if 4 on 4 was played for the whole game. They would get too tired. But for OT it's fun and cuts down on the likelihood of quadruple OT.

And I am 100% with you on expanding the size of the rink. The last Olympics produced some of the best quality hockey I've ever seen. It brings skills to the fore, which I always thought would disadvantage the Canadians who rely more on hitting, but apparently not.

Lisa from Six Feet Under
 

Lisa's nasty. Ugly and nasty. The woman who plays her is a great actress, but I can't stand seeing her. She's like Frances McDormand - talented as hell but unrelenting on the eyes. That's why most folks give her no quarter.

The worse character is that brunette neurotic bag of cats Nate used to date. She was such a self-imporatant asshole - reminded me why I hate people who go to therapy regularly and are into self-analysis.

There is no solution.
 

I wasn't trying to make such a literal connection but, okay. The tobacco litigation and much of the anti-smoking campaign is based on the health costs associated with smoking (which does include non-smokers). The states put forth the idea that they were incurring extra healthcare costs because of diseases caused by smoking. Obesity causes numerous health problems but no states have seen fit to hike up taxes on fatty foods or initate tobacco-esque lawsuits against Frito-Lay. People also argue that being around a smoker has an impact on their own health. Being forced to eat near a fatty repulses me and so I should not be subjected to it. If you say "then don't go to that restaurant or eat at home or something" I say the same should go for people who do not want to be around smokers (and the employees can choose to work in a place tha allows smoking or not although I will note that they probably get more lung damage sitting in traffic on the way to work than they do serving some smokers).

I can quit smoking today but you will still be a fatty.

Web Toilet a hoax
 

Web toilet

I love it when the AP and WSJ get pranked.

Fatness and Health Problems
 

I see doctors only when I have to. I am deathly scared that if I went to one now, he'd tell me to stop doing something I like, and I'd rather die than stop enjoying the things I like.

I am married to a medical family. I've explained this position to them several times. You'd think they'd disagree with me, but they don't.

Attention Hockey People
 

Hmm. I always thought the ugly americans were the dirty brawlers. Didn't Canada only recently allow body checking in youth hockey? All I remember about youth hockey was that since no one had any skating or stickhandling skills, most players' objective was principally to smash into other people. Of course, that was Mass., where dads encourage their children to "smash him, kill him" and then beat up and kill the other kid's dad after the game. I always thought it would be much more fun to ban checking until high school or so, and actually learn to skate and play the game.

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
So do I pursue the bastard via his home address or do I give up? Do I go there (it's in a part of town that I do not know very well) or do I write a demand letter? All I want is for him to finish the job he's started. I'm pretty sure that he's small time, and I'm also pretty sure that this is one of those instances where the letters "J.D." might be a bit intimidating.
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I unfortunately prosecute in this subject area. If this guy really wanted to defraud you, he has probably defrauded other people and done it for quite some time. In these instance, letters and subpoenas from the AG indicating things like, "you are about to be arrested, have your property seized, etc.," have very little effect so I doubt that a J.D. letter will intimidate him. I had one where the guy went to jail, was released on Tue - restarted his fraudulent operation on Wed, went to jail again, got out started again, etc.

You probably don't want to place yourself in danger by going to his house, etc. I don't know how active the Texas AG's office is but if you can't get in touch with the guy by phone, mail, etc., you could call them and at least register a complaint. If they have other complaints and pursue these types of things, you could get a fraction of restitution money - in the unlikely event that this guy has assets.

There is no solution.
 

Yeah, that wsa the public justification. Which doesn't withstand scrutiny, since smokers die younger, so don't incur health care costs for an additional twenty years. And it's not like the states spent the money on actual care for smokers. No, it's to build bridges named after politicians. But I digress.