| Bad_Rich_Chic |
10-16-2003 12:40 PM |
Ambition and relationships
Quote:
Originally posted by Fashionable But Anonymous
What I dont get is the importance many women place on their men having this ambition and passion about their career and why being passionate about you r mate isnt more important. is this a mars-venus thing? Women are attracted to the caveman with the biggest club, who can be the most protective, and brings in the most kill? I must be missing something.
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My initial reaction is "Golddigger. Run." We all know what "ambition" is code for.
But, on the other hand, while I think anyone saying to a lawyer "you just don't seem ambitious" is prima facie an idiot, I sort of understand the desire to be with someone with a clue "where they are going." Someone in the throws of existential angst about what they want to accomplish with their life can be a real emotional drain, and I can see wanting to avoid that (though, often, it springs up later among the initially ambitious, like in mid-life).
This doesn't sound like you, though. You know exactly where you are going - to work for money, and to your real life for fulfillment. I wonder what she considers to be "ambition" or "passion." She may be very stupid and not realize that real ambition and passion for accomplishing things "in the world" usually requires pretty great sacrifices, both from the driven one and from those close to them. Living with your parents while waiting for your beloved rock band to rise to world domination strikes me as the epitome of ambition and passionate dedication to what you want to accomplish with your life. (I know a guy doing this. He is the most driven-to-succeed person I have ever known. He is Zen-like in his contentment, focus and self-confidence. ) I would be very curious if she would be satisfied with the response "my job is a job and nothing more - my passion is devoting all of my spare income and time to supporting childrens' community theater programs in impoverished neighborhoods" or something like that. Now THAT would something worth getting passionate about.
Back on the first hand, then, this stinks of someone, perhaps subconsciously perhaps not, saying "I want someone I can count on to support me." I have to say that I don't understand someone who is looking, in a relationship, for confirmation that your first priority will always be something else. So the only appropriate response is "yes, that is exactly what I am looking for, too," and quiz her about her long-term career ambitions. So I guess I'm back to "Golddigger. Run."
BR(maybe this is a generational thing - I though the hallmark of Gen Xers was that they did NOT seek fulfillment through their job. There is something very retro about this attitude)C |
