Subway Seats
 

Now that I think about it, both men and women were very good about holding open doors for me when I was pregnant, but heaven forbid anyone should hold the door for a mom with a stroller.

Subway Seats
 

When I lived in NYC and took the subway to work every day, I routinely got up from my seat if I saw a pregnant woman or someone with a child (because it's better to have a kid sitting down than getting in the way when people push in and out of the cars).

As to whether New Yorkers are savages, you might find this article interesting.

One of the things that I cannot understand is the behavior of New Yorkers on elevators. Normally, New Yorkers are rushing past you on the street, on the escalators down to the subway, etc. These same New Yorkers, when they are in an elevator, appear to completely change their perspective on civility: If people pile into an elevator, and if some women are standing in the back and some men are standing in the front, when the elevator reaches the ground floor, the men do not get off first but try to stand to the side WITHIN the crowded elevator to let the women out first. This typically results in some awkward shuffling and needless delay while the women push their way out from the back of the elevator to get out first. Whenever this happens, I usually want to scream at the top of my lungs to the men who are standing aside: "Get the fuck out of the damn elevator first you retards!" Have New Yorkers simply not heard of the "Last In, First Out" method of exiting from crowded elevators?

Subway Seats
 

In my experiences with public transportation, women appear to be more willing to sit in any seat if it is available. Men, in contrast, will usually remain standing depending on the number of free seats.

I usually do not sit if 2/3 or more of the seats are taken in a given bus or subway car. I simply don't like sitting right next to strangers.*

* Strangers on subway cars don't usually sit right next to each other unless they have to. To use an analogy from chemistry, it can best be described as a social "Hund's Rule."

Hot Child in the City
 

That's because while you're pregnant these people think there's still a chance you're giving the baby up for adoption to a nice couple in Connecticut. Or anywhere that is not Manhattan.

If you're pushing a stroller, you've pretty much made clear you're part of the problem, not the solution.

Subway Seats
 

Back when I used to push lots of strollers, people would hold doors open for me frequently.

Usually, as I was on the way OUT.

Subway Seats
 

The men stand aside so that they can check out the women's asses.

S_A_M

Subway Seats
 

To further my observations on the "New Yorkers are savages" phenomenon -

On Friday evening, after a day of running about the office, I actually decided it would be nice to sit on the way home. So I noted a partially empty seat, with a woman on one side and a guy on the other spilling over onto the vacant seat in the middle with his unfolded WSJ. So I waddled over and pointed at the semi-vacant seat and asked "may I sit down?"

The guy folded down his paper, looked dead at me and said "there's no room."

The woman on the other side had the decency to look shocked and glared at him, but certainly didn't offer to get up.

Need I mention that these were the 3 seats on the train prominently designated as reserved for the elderly/disabled/someone-with-a-reason-to-sit-other-than-sheer-laziness?

Subway Seats
 

I hope you sat down anyway.

Subway Seats
 

Of course, ze asked the wrong question. It's not "may I sit down", but "is that your newspaper" If not, then you can move it to the ground; if so, then you ask them to move it or do it yourself.

Subway Seats
 

Egad. Desmond Morris did a PBS-type thing about zoological study of human behavior. One of the things he did was compare human interaction and etiquette in an African village of, say, 50 people to the same behaviors in Manhattan. He concluded that the only way humans can deal with that level of population density was to ignore the presence of other humans. To a person walking the streets of Manhattan, other people are merely trees; i.e., obstructions to navigation, albeit moving ones.

You should have punched that tree right in the nuts.

ETA: I remember Morris's central thesis was that humans evolved in bands of 150 or fewer, and our social behaviors, whether in Africa or Manhattan, are designed to keep the number of people with whom we interact to around that number. Savages indeed. Sadly, I can't find the program on DVD anywhere, but the books are widely available, starting with The Naked Ape.

Subway Seats
 

New Yorkers don't understand phrases that start with "May I . . ." Instead, you're supposed to growl "Excuse Me" in a threatening tone, and, without waiting for a response, just plop yourself down.

elevators, busses
 

OK, regarding elevators, there just needs to be an understood rule for things to work. If an elevator is crowded and people in the back need to get off on an earlier floor than people toward the front, what do people do? They rearrange and possibly even get off the elevator to allow the people leaving the elevator to get out. There is a related rule that operates under the women-get-off-first* system: if the elevator is too crowded to comfortably rearrange within the elevator to allow women off first (and everyone, for the sake of argument, is getting off at the same floor, e.g. when going down at the end of the day), then blocking men get off and hold the edge of the elevator door as if they are holding open the door. This also gives them a good vantage point to see the women walk by.

Busses: the woman who was offended by the guy should have shoved over into the seat he was blocking with his rudely-held-open newspaper. I will try to remember this in the unlikely event I am ever on a bus or other public transport thingy that is crowded.

And New Yorkers are savages. Anyone who can't do something if asked instead of ordered is seriously fucked up. No offense. OK, offense.

*I love this system in so many contexts!

elevators, busses
 

Most of the time, the men in the front do NOT get out of the elevator at all but attempt to re-shuffle. This women-first system in the world of elevators is truly incongruous in a place like New York where most men will NOT offer their seats to women on a bus or on a subway car. What is it about elevators that every man has to suddenly display some form of simple-minded chivalry?

Indeed, you need an event that is as catastrophic as 9/11 to cause them to de-savage, albeit temporarily.

Women should get over such expectations (e.g., having people open doors for them or yield right of way). The reshuffling and delay involved in allowing women to go first is, in my opinion, inefficient because people usually get in my way while doing so.

Subway Seats
 

I suppose you think this justifies your behavior towards newbies on fashion. you and 149 of your friend can post. the rest of us are asshats!!!

elevators, busses
 

No, not having a settled system is inefficient. If you know that the system is women-off-first, and everyone cooperates in it, you* (as a woman) are poised to hop off the elevator toot sweet as soon as the doors open. If the system is "those closest to the door get off first" then you,* as a woman, wait your turn.

In NYC, it sounds like the problem is that people simply do not clear the doorways. Shocking. This is different from there being collisions because men in the front are getting off as women in the back are rushing to clear the way for men.

And the "woman comes first" thing was a gratuitous sexual reference, silly.

*"you" meaning generic you, not you yourself.

Subway Seats
 

Subway Seats
 

Anyone else think this thread has mutated to something that more rightly belongs on FB?

OP related somewhat to pregnancy. Shouldn't there be some rule like at least every 10th post in the thread has to relate back to 'mom & dad, esq.' issue in some way?

Of course, if you want to talk rude people on public transport, I've found Boston to be much worse than NYC.

Subway Seats
 

Bringing sanity back to the Parents' Board:

A poll:

How many stitches does your kid have to get before you take him or her out for a smoothie on the way home from the hospital? I'm standing at five, but he thinks that's unreasonable, that it's the trip and the novacain shots that count, while I point out to him that he'd be breaking the bank at his recent rate of visits.

(Just three this time, and three last time, but eight the time before, so he'd still be doing okay with my system.)

Subway Seats
 

Seems like the number ought to go up each time. And if he doesn't meet the threshold, a lecture on health-care economics is in order instead.

Subway Seats
 

I can't believe you check out pregnant women's asses. :butt:

On the helping-those-with-strollers thing, I have such empathy for those still schlepping their babes around in those heavy "buckets" that go into the car seat. Maybe some will disagree and think it's intrusive, but I think the best thing to do is jump in and help without asking. When I'm out without the Babe and see someone about to do the insert-groceries-and-baby-into-car-seat dance, I just bound over and without asking start grabbing bags, collapsing the stroller and loading it in, saying, "give me the keys; I'll get the car started heating." I've never had one person object. I wonder why we don't see more people doing this. It takes all of 2 minutes. What's the big deal?

Vietmom
(Enjoying the salad days of rearing the 18 month old in the dream stage)

Subway Seats
 

Agree. Unless there was an EMT or ambulance-ride involved. The scare-factor from either of those counts as additional stitches.

Poll
 

None. As long as the parent gets to choose the particular smoothie

Vietmom

Poll
 

I read those.

I saw tofu.

He'd rather have stitches.

Subway Seats
 

Do yuo live in Pleasantville? People give you their keys: that's unbelievable.

Subway Seats
 

I never had a problem with people being rude when I was pregnant, but if they had, I would probably have puked on them in response. Most eveyone was very nice. Of course, we do not have to deal with public transit here. I did have an angry woman leave a very nasty message on my car warning me that the preggo parking spaces were reserved for pregnant wonem only. Being 7.5mos at the time and absolutely HUGE, I was a bit confused by the note... I also had no problems in court other than a few judges asking repeatedly - and nervously - that I sit down - apparantly they thought I was big enough to pop at any given moment. In fact, I think they were more pleasant than usual, lest I get upset and have my water break in their courtroom. -TL

Subway Seats
 

You must look like a nice unintimidating person, because if I did that, I'm sure that someone would think I'm robbing them or trying to steal their baby. Which I'm not. No really.

Leggo My Preggo
 

Hank, "Do you live in Pleasantville? People give you their keys: that's unbelievable."

Well...at least women do. They know a fellow harried Mom out for a quick shop sans babe (hair in dirty rubberband, wearing long black rain coat with various crunchy snacks stuck to it, thinking it's hiding that you're in pajamas and wearing 2 different colored (and fabric!) socks). I sense they hesitate but something in their head says, "Oh..Fuck It."

TexLex: "I never had a problem with people being rude when I was pregnant, but if they had, I would probably have puked on them in response."

My only regret to not having a bio kid is this. I'd love to go `round and just ralph all over people who've pissed me off. And as a pregger, I'd be immune from any allegation of intentional conduct; nobody would believe I'd blow chunks "on purpose."

TexLex, "I did have an angry woman leave a very nasty message on my car warning me that the preggo parking spaces were reserved for pregnant wonem only. Being 7.5mos at the time and absolutely HUGE, I was a bit confused by the note..."

I'm confused by the parking spaces. I've never heard of preggo parking spaces. What do the signs look like?

Flinty, "I'm going to become rich and famous after I invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet."

Did you make this up? If so, I'm totally stealing it. Good stuff.

VietMom

Leggo My Preggo
 

VietMom:

First off, let me say that I've lurked on this board off and on for a while (little Flintette is now 8.5 weeks), and I'm really sorry that you and VietBabe had to go through scary times with the Nanny. I have not mentioned your experience to my wife, as she would freak and never let anyone hold our child again. But I'm happy that things seem to be much much better and that you were able to find out really early on and minimize it.

Second: I have no original thoughts. Ever. I merely digest outside information, confuse it, and spit it back into the world. You can find a bunch of funny quotes/dialogues captured from the world of IRC and techies at:

http://bash.cx/?top

Warning: Some/all of the material may be offensive to someone.

Flinty

edited to add: Now that I look at it, most of the quotes are offensive to me. Sorry.

Subway Seats
 

Stop reading Tarzan right now.

Leggo My Preggo
 

You know - at the grocery store they have little stork signs near the handicap spots. At least here they do - and they were much appreciated, at hot as it was (through October it was hot and icky last year). They really should have baby spots too - as much if a hassle as it is to waddle around when pregnant, I think it is even more of a pain to drag a baby (and its luggage) along. Maybe they should just have special spots for men way at the back of the parking lots - that would proabbly take care of things nicely. -TL

Leggo My Preggo
 

How is the monkey baby doing? If she hasn't had her 2mo shots yet, be sure to give her baby tylenol beforehand - I failed to heed this advice and not only did I not have any on hand when I needed it, but Littlelex was too ill too leave him to go and buy some! He's due for 4mo shots this month and I am dreading it.

-TL

Leggo My Preggo
 

Funny you should ask, just got them two days ago, and she's been kinda fussy ever since. We were told that she may run a fever as a result. Next time, I'll try the baby tylenol.

How is the hulk?

Leggo My Preggo
 

We non-breeding females but those damn single fathers and men who actually take care of their kids would probably object.

Sweetie, I love luv heart you, but jesus.

Leggo My Preggo
 

You know what I meant - anyway, you should always take everything with a grain of salt when the post is from the chonically sleep deprived. Besides, if I had it my way, I would be able to pull the car right inside the front entrance of the store where elves would hop out of my trunk, fetch the groceries, and I would be on my way.

For Flinty - almost 19lbs, I think. He was 17lb5oz and 25.5" @ 3mos, so for his 4mo visit next week, I will report back. He rolled onto his back from belly yesterday (wheee!) but makes no attempt to roll from back to belly - he just lays there like a mini-beached-whale flapping his arms. It's sad that he's going to be too big for his carrier soon - although it's really effing heavy to be schlepping around now. Re shots - yes, he was fussy for two days after the first day when he slept so hard I couldn't wake him up even to eat. He got a big knot in his thigh too, apparantly that's normal for one of the shots.

-T(a guy who not only grocery shops (beer and pizza runs do not count) but takes the infant with him to do so is a rare, rare, thing indeed - I might consider trading Mr. Lex in for one of these)L

Leggo My Preggo
 

Why are you here? (read: simple question, no heat/hostility)

Leggo My Preggo
 

I, too, am a non-breeder.

I post on the Parents' board for reasons similar to why people climb mountains.

Leggo My Preggo
 

The Nazis conscripted you into the Austrian Navy?

Leggo My Preggo
 

Bored, best in-town friend pregnant, best overall friend going to be trying soon, always need someone to mock.

Leggo My Preggo
 

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by NW Native
Why are you here? (read: simple question, no heat/hostility)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Honesty is the best policy fringe. I've asked fringe to become my 6th Wife. She'll have to pass a fertility test, of course, and also her hymen must be intact, but otherwise its a go.

I'd estimate 10 months till fringe is telling morning sickness stories here.

AND no jokes about her being "nauseous at night" before that, Atticus, you wag.

Leggo My Preggo
 

Yes, and I feel horrible about it.

But I simply remember my favorite things,
and then I don't feel so bad.