| 
		
			| Bad_Rich_Chic | 10-01-2003 10:12 AM |  
 Paging DS and Grinchy:  Etiquette Q
 
	Quote: 
	
		| Originally posted by Fugee
 So, what would Miss Manners recommend one do when one encounters people whose behavior one thinks has been completely unacceptable?  Is there a modern version of "the cut direct" or at least something that would appear on the surface as polite but convey the message that someone's behavior is not condoned?
 
 |   The modern version of the cut direct is the cut direct.  It involves glaring and saying "I do not know you, sir" and walking on.  The cut indirect, which is less impressive but easier on the nerves, is to entirely fail to see them, stare over their left shoulder and say "excuse me" and walk on.  You cut someone because you have no respect for them, so you will not even appear superficially polite (though to act so is within the bounds of etiquette).
 
Now, if what you want is to maintain social contact & pretend to be all nice but make the two of them writhe with agony over their wrongs, that is very different, and considerably more complicated.  The basic method is to maintain contact but bring up excruciating things in a way that can't be brought back to you.  Do either of them have children estranged over their divorces?  Ask how they are frequently.  Friendly with the guy's wife?  Mention you saw her and she looked wonderful/ successful/ sexually satisfied.  Engage in chit-chat about the qualifications necessary for a good employee/ partner/ chef/ whatever and mention the importance of personal fidelity and loyalty as indicators of worth.
 
But I'm not sure any of that is worth the effort.  You don't seem to want a social relationship with these people, and their affront wasn't directed at you, so I'd just stick to shallow, casual acquaintanceship and not spend any more effort or energy on them than you have to. |