Ricky Martin wanted to date RT's sister?
 

I care about anyone who wants to pee on the sister of one of my imaginary friends.

No. That one's ugly. They look much better in black.

There are these huge red squirrels that live on Penn State's campus that I wouldn't be surprised to hear kill humans, let alone dogs. They're fat as shit from being overfed by passers by and they are not afraid of people at all. Fuckers will stand in the sidewalk and stare at you, and come right up to you if you have food.
You want to pick them up and squeeze them like a fat cat, but then you realize, spending the night getting rabies shots is not where you want to be when you're in a stupor...

Buttsex Buttsex Buttsex (hi str8!)
 

Its his Anglican side...

I somehow
 

I've seen this happen. It's not pretty.

I just don't think the old sebby would have confessed to wanting to pick up a squirrel and hug it.

Squirrels on college campuses are just *asking* to be stomped or something. I remember once standing in an early morning stupor holding a donut (natch) and feeling something against my shin -- looked down, and a squirrel was up on its hind legs, resting its front paws on my leg, staring at the donut.

were you wearing those brown cords? He might have thought you were a tree stump.

Squirrels on college campuses also seem to have abnormally large balls. I wonder how they manage to get up those trees comfortably lugging those nutsacks around.

So
 

You people are of no help whatsoever regarding studies on long-term success of affair-relationships? Do none of you watch Dr Phil? It is times like this that I seriously regret scaring Atticus off of the FB. Worthless. You all are.

So
 

All relationships are doomed to misery.

Um, namaste. Or ma-nasty.

Attention! dtb! Look this way!
 

Fringey thinks I'm wonderful.

I should quit before I do something to fuck this up.

Attention! dtb! Look this way!
 

Don't quit. We would miss you.

Attention! dtb! Look this way!
 

Okay. Who are you and what have you done with Fringey?

So
 

My sister had Thanksgiving dinner with my grandfather's mistress. My grandfather has been dead since 1988, but his mistress is apparently still mooning over him as of November 24, 2005. ("Your grandfather was the most hansome man I ever knew... He was so tall! 6'2"*! And handsome. Pass me another bottle of wine, will ya.")

Seems that affair-relationship worked well as far as his mistress was concerned. Of course, he stayed married to my grandmother (also her best friend, if the mistress is to be believed) all those years, and he cheated on his mistress, too. According to my father, the affair-relationship lasted at least 30 years, and there was that two year period after my grandmother died but before my grandfather died that they had each other.

*ed. comment, he was maybe 5'10". But the woman barley tops 5 feet. Everyone is tall to her.

As seen on RT's college campus:

http://www.scarysquirrel.org/special/balsac/balani1.gif

I miss Paigow. Sniff.

Attention! dtb! Look this way!
 

I've gone new age-y and SoCal?

Market your clients, kids.
 

Yeah, I'm wonking, but I couldn't not say this: This post makes me sick.

(On another note, while avoiding so many other opportunities to post as I catch up, I was wondering how hard it is for nfh to secretly read the board without posting any of her typical garbage.)

TM

Market your clients, kids.
 

Why?

Winter Wonderland
 

Attention! Due to the severity of the weather, my office is closing at 4 PM today.

Cleveland [Salt] Rocks.

aV

Winter Wonderland
 

Yeah... tell that to the second year down the hall who has a motion/draft/memo that absolutely, positively has to be finished by Monday.

Winter Wonderland
 

Got it covered. Already told one first year that he wasn't going anywhere at 4, as he had plenty to do for me.

He was nodding his head in agreement so hard that i thought he was gonna repture a disk.

Its fun to tease the newbies.

aV

Winter Wonderland
 

I'm so proud. All that pie agrees with you.

Winter Wonderland
 

BTW, I have to go to Cleveland some time in mid-December. Save some airport-closing-shitty-strand-me-away-from-my-pregnant-wife-motherfuckin'-bad weather for me...

Winter Wonderland
 

It's not doing a damn thing where I am. Bastard.

(Far enough away from the lake.)

Winter Wonderland
 

Cleveland is positively lovely in mid-December.

Winter Wonderland
 

Don't you worry about it! We have plenty to spread around. The latest weather report is predicting 12 - 24 inches by 4 AM in some areas [The dreaded snow belt. Obviously worn by the Cold Miser in Year Without a Santa Claus]

WOO!

aV

plus your lake catches on fire
 

No, you are not.

And I don't know. I watch a fair amount of Cavaliers games, and I haven't noticed an appreciable difference in his game, other than he has really improved his outside shot, and his defense is getting better. I haven't followed the numbers, and this may sound a bit counter-intuitive, but he might be putting up more shots because the team around him is better, and he's getting more looks/fewer guys collapsing in on him as a result. Like I said, I'm haven't followed his numbers, but I bet his shooting percentage is probably up significantly from the last couple of years.

Winter Wonderland
 

It wouldn't be so bad if you had some mountains or something to ski on. Instead, all you have are decrepit rust-belt relics...

[FLAME SUIT]AdL[/FLAME SUIT]

Winter Wonderland
 

And people live there on purpose?

Winter Wonderland
 

I bet you could make a bitcin' half-pipe out of some of those old smokestacks.

PLF: Outed!
 

PLF: Outed!
 

That is one of the funniest things I have read in a long time.

Winter Wonderland
 

I have long said Cleveland's a plum.

PLF: Outed!
 

I love this part:

"I even married this clueless girl from Connecticut—loves shopping and everything—and we have two ironic kids. I swear, they look like something out of a creepy 1950s Dick And Jane reader—I even have these hilarious silver-framed pictures of them in my cheesy corner office. But still, the humor is lost on everybody but me."

Long time Lurker, First Time Poster
 

Hey- real new guy here. Please be gentle (attack squirrels and fist shaped marital aids need not apply)

Long time Lurker, First Time Poster
 

PLF has been gone for a week, and suddenly new posters? Maybe his plan was flawed? Maybe he was the problem, not the solution?

Long time Lurker, First Time Poster
 

Fuck you, Jobu, I do it myself.

Oh, and welcome.

As charming as Flower is, it was the quiet sense of desperation that led me to register

Bat is afraid of curve ball.
Thanks, Alex

Long time Lurker, First Time Poster
 

Apropos of nothing, until I came across the movie on cable earlier this week, I did not realize that Pedro Cerrano was played by President David Palmer, the Allstate shill guy.

Welcome.

Long time Lurker, First Time Poster
 

What was the point of delurking?