Guns Galore
 

Fuckin' tease.

Was Clay Robbed?
 

Both Ruben and Clay will be releasing singles on June 10. Ruben will sing Flying Without Wings, destined to be an instant wedding song classic and sleep aid. Clay will do Bridge over Troubled Water. It will be interesting to see which sells more copies.

Was Clay Robbed?
 

Agree on both counts. Smacks of sore losers.

Various and sundry
 

I don't think she was asking you to generalize. She just wants to know how the Hubby is hung.

Tax(send streaming video to dc_chef@....)wonk

Jim Carrey Almighty
 

Calling Humphrey and Cary jerks? Take that back or I'll bend your tiara, bitch!

Woo Hoo
 

hat trick!!! And with only a single day's wort of Taxwonking.

:band:

Was Clay Robbed?
 

I think Flying Without Wings will immediately be licensed to a feminine hygiene product of some sort for use in their tv-campaign.

Woo Hoo
 

Nice, Wonk. Now how about gracing the Chicago board with your presence and pithy commentary?? Talking to my imaginary friends and Penske's socks is getting old...

Woo Hoo
 

I made contributions to each of the locals. Just three more posts apiece and we'll hit that magical second page.....

New Music
 

EW's summer music column is out and there are some very interesting albums dropping.

My most-awaited album (next to D'Angelo, of course) is the OutKast double album Speakerboxx/The Love Below, in stores in August:

"To follow up 2000's ''Stankonia,'' one of the most critically acclaimed hip-hop albums in recent memory, the Atlanta duo took their time creating this ambitious two-CD set, with one disc (''Speakerboxx'') concocted by Big Boi, the other (''The Love Below'') by Dre. ''Mine is more hip-hop-based,'' says Big Boi. ''Dre's doing more funk-based stuff.'' While Big Boi's disc features Jay-Z and Goodie Mobb, Dre's includes a solitary, if unlikely, guest: Norah Jones. ''It's still a unified front,'' Big Boi adds; he and Dre produced tracks and rapped on each other's discs. ''This is just our way of telling two perspectives of the story.'' "

Full text of article: http://www.ew.com/ew/report/0,6115,4...walbum,00.html

Woo Hoo
 

Should I use one sock or three?

Woo Hoo
 

If the socks have a Chicago theme, at this point I don't care how many you use...

Guns Galore
 

You (or more likely your previous insurance company) are lucky the garbage man didn't sue. My friend's dog nipped the mail man (actually mail woman) -- tiny little cut, no big deal. Doggie did his time in Doggie Jail and my friend put a mailbox out by the curb so the mailperson didn't have to come up to the house anymore. Three weeks later, she got a letter from a lawyer; I offered to call to see what he wanted. Despite agreement that there were no complications and no scarring, the lawyer is expecting "several thousand dollars" for his client. I told the lawyer I would voluntarily get the same bite as his client for several thousand dollars. He told me that's the "going rate." I called my insurance agent to see if this is out of line and she told me the lowest original request is usually around $10K.

Guns Galore
 

What a coincidence. Earlier today, Penske volunteered to get bitten in a rather intimate way by Bill O'Reilly. No word on whether money would change hands, but the change of pronouns between the quoted posts makes everyone wonder whether Penske's taken the N out of NTTAWWT.

Oh, the human-on-manity!

Guns Galore
 

OOps, I thought it was a reference to Baba O'Reilly. She was a chick, no?

Guns Galore and !?!?
 

I'm still reeling from the revelation that DT got "conjugal visits" with her dog. Wasn't aware they had that kind of relationship.

As for the original subject of this thread, my dad is a lifetime member of the NRA and owns several firearms. However, they were always stored in the back of a deep closet and generally only gotten out for hunting and practicing for hunting (clay pigeons, mostly). The exception was a pellet rifle and the target range he set up in our (long) basement family room. I was pretty good with the pellet rifle, but the one time I tried the shotgun on clay pigeons I was 1/25 and tired of the very loud and very hard-kicking gun. We were definitely taught safe practices with firearms, and my brother who went hunting had to take a hunters' safety course before getting a license.

It always seemed to me like there were two kinds of NRA members--ones like my dad where we ate everything he killed and the most visible evidence of hunting activity was the meat in the freezer, and the ones who collected lots of non-hunting weapons (handguns, semi-automatics, etc.), who hunted things that weren't good to eat (predators, chukars, etc.), and whose homes were decorated with lots of dead stuffed animals.

As far as guns for safety, my brother lived for a while in Kingston, Jamaica--not a particularly safe place. I don't know if he ever actually did it, but he said if he were ever to get a weapon for defense it would be a shotgun. No aiming required and there's no deterrent like that universally-recognizable <chuck-chuck> sound.

No guns in our household, and not likely ever to be, but I'll probably let Magnus go hunting with my dad if he wants to someday.

tm

Various and sundry
 

Amen, sister. I have no problem with citizens driving gas guzzling, oversized vehicles designed for military use provided that citizens who do not drive Hummers are also allowed to carry shoulder-launched missiles to fire at Hummers. I think that's a fair trade off. You get a military vehicle. I get a rocket launcher to shoot at your military vehicle. It's just like when the kids from the neighborhood used to play War.

Guns Galore and !?!?
 

Agree with that. If you're going to pack heat under your bed, might as well make it a shotgun. Just blast away -- no need to put on eyeglasses or see the intruder, you'll be sure to cause some injury and certain to get him running the other way as fast as possible. (although won't the <chuck-chuck> come when you're reloading?

Trendspotting
 

Interesting.

Questions:

Any idea how it's activated? It probably loses its desired effect if the wearer isn't able to do so easily.

Does the person have to be grabbed, or does mere contact with the jacket cause the desired effect?

I can just imagine how much fun it might be wearing this on crowded city sidewalks. I can just see Paigow "accidentally" brushing against short porcine umbrella-toters on the sidewalks of D.C.

ZZZZTTT! "Oops, sorry!"

sf

America's Next Top Model!!!!!
 

I caught a bit of this last night--man o' man is it stupid. There is one interesting woman on there who is 20 years old and probably 85 pounds but who comes across as intelligent. (Per the other girls and the "model trainers": She is going to medical school next year!!!!! Medical school would be a lot of work!!!!!! -- meanwhile, how many people graduate with a four year degree, so as to qualify them for med school, by age 20?)

The rest of the women are obnoxious and some are Anna Nicole-esque in their spaced-out observations. Moreover, some are not attractive.

Tyra Banks is the Monica Lewinsky of the show, although she does a much better job. My favorite line of hers: "It's all in the eyes. Look at me. Right now I'm doing dead eyes. (Appears how Tyra always appears). Now look. (Tyra looks left and right). See how much more sexy? (Looking exactly the same as before)." America's Next Top Models!!!!!! were mesmerized and complained that they would never be able to have as sexy of eyes as Tyra. Gag.

They kicked off one girl who was among the most beautiful because she "looked too Playboy. I look at her and I see Ms. July." Then they kept the ones that look and act like they are "special."

Greg Smith, boy genius
 

I caught an interview with this kid on the CBS morning news today. Did anybody else see it? He's so children of the corn, he scared me. He's about as unnatural as those child beauty queens. Everything that he says sounds totally calculated to please and impress adults.

http://a799.g.akamai.net/3/799/388/a...ws/1908486.jpg

And I can't imagine how he survived college with that haircut!

America's Next Top Model!!!!!
 

I caught a snippet of this while surfing between sporting events. What a strange group of women. I can't believe that the woman from Joliet, IL made the cut for the trip to NY. She makes Anna Nicole look intelligent and well spoken.

Greg Smith, boy genius
 

I always feel sad for these people. What the hell is he going to do with his college degree at age 13? He can't even get a job at McDonald's for another two years.

If he were truly a genius he would have said no the haircut.

America's Next Top Model!!!!!
 

"Who cares about Derek Zoolander? The man has only one look! Blue Steel? Ferrari? Le Tigre? They're all the same face! Doesn't anyone notice this?"

Greg Smith, boy genius
 

Yeah, I'm sure he was chillin' with the Sigma Chis on a regular basis.

I went to law school with one of these purported "boy geniuses," who was about 18 when he started law school. As best I could tell, he spent the entire time he was not in class back in his apartment with his mom.

Guns Galore and !?!?
 

The shotgun does seem to be the defensive weapon of choice. I used to work with a guy who was a Vietnam vet. He told me that the number one weapon of choice for close combat in the jungle was a Winchester pump-action, because you didn't have to be accurate and could do a lot of damage with one.

trading spaces
 

Did anyone watch the marathon on Monday? I looked on the website for updates on the shows that they featured Monday night. I thought that I remembered hearing somewhere that the woman who got Kia's swinging bed actually hated it and was pissed after the show, but that's not the impression I got from Kia's typed in blurbs. TLC needs to do a better job posting follow-up reactions...

n(sorry, e/o, guess the Spurs will have to finish us off in Dallas)cs

Greg Smith, boy genius
 

Actually, he was seen hanging out with these guys.

http://www.primechoice.com/philosoph...ages/nerds.jpg

Guns Galore and !?!?
 

I haven't kept up with this whole gun thread but this caught my eye. In that brief period during which Mr. Kiss and I were dating, we were drunk and out and about near where his parents live. Rather than drive the 45 minutes home, Mr. Kiss said we should go to his parent's house and crash. Except he didn't have a key so his brilliant plan was to "break in." He warned me, though, that the last time he did this he was met as soon as he got in the house (through the deck out back) with his dad and a shotgun.

Hoops and Movie Rec
 

I am still upset about it.

The game was so well in hand, we got bored (forgetting it was the bleeping Spurs and it's never over unless they have a 31 point lead with 10 minutes left in the 4th) and decided to watch The Fast Runner (Atanarjuat), the Inuit folk tale movie. It's excellent, and I highly recommend it.

As for hoops, we turned the movie off in time to watch the wheels come off with 5 minutes remaining.

E/O

trading spaces
 

What is the allure of this show? Is it the tips in tacky home decorating, the oft garish results, or the big reveal at the end of the show? I always enjoy a reveal, but I do not care to sit through an hour of watching people paint to get there. Are the people who love it on this board people fixing up their own homes? I can imagine that some of the tips would be quite useful if they did not involve orange paint.

trading spaces
 

I usually only watch the final eight minutes of the show.

From what I understand, Paige Davis has a few fans also.

trading spaces
 

The theoretical allure is in seeing how anyone with a few bucks for paint and some imagination can change the exact same beige room everyone seems to have into something attractive and fun--ideas for transforming your now or future space.

The practical allure is in seeing how people react to having Hildy turn their useful family room into a concrete-brick-paved space with a single uncomfortable couch facing a large piece of her ugly artwork (negatively), or Frank cover their living room with gingham and painted wooden craftsy pigs (bizarrely, usually well), or wondering if Kia will astroturf another bed into looking like a grave instead of the intended garden, or that Vern will be doing someone's room in which case it inevitably rocks.

Heathen.

PJ

Cake or Death . . . On Tour
 

Eddie Izzard has announced dates for his new show Sexie.

Full text: http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmp...playbill/79757

The NHL version of "Joltin Joe has left, and gone away."
 

Alas and alack; the rumors of the retirement of King Patrick appear to be true.

I learned this while watching Barry Melrose between periods last night, before the hated Devils mowed through the hapless Ducks in the third period. How many odd man rushes can one team give up without getting blown out? Jesus.

Anyway, here's Patrick as I think of him (still can't believe those morons in Montreal let him go):
http://www.abdcards.com/pf0560.jpg

and

http://web.dailycamera.com/extra/roy/dives.jpg

trading spaces
 

for me it is the waiting for the train wreck at the reveal. the rooms are hardly ever anything anyone would want in their house. but the show works best when Doug or Hildi is in action, and you know someone's home will be ruined. to me, one of the scariest visions in modern America would be, I'm on trading spaces and I see Hildi get out of the truck and head into my house with my neighbors. http://www.realityblurred.com/realit...x.shtml#003285 (spree-lady saving money to fix Hildi's vision)

trading spaces
 

You may count my SO in that group. We were watching on Monday and when he found out that she was the host, he agreed to add it to the Tivo.

Although I understand for some long-standing fans that she sucks compared to the original host.

I also like to watch the abbreviated show -- first 10 minutes (find out who the designers are, see the awful rooms) and the last ten minutes (see the end product and reactions). The rest is fluff, although sometimes there is a good bicker between designer and homeowner thrown in...

n(I just hate her Enterprise commercials, but maybe they aren't a good outlet for her talents)cs

The NHL version of "Joltin Joe has left, and gone away."
 

F Roy

F the Devils

not7y(and F the Rangers until they announce a #35 retirement ceremony)S

trading spaces
 

The original host was Alex McLeod (McLoed?), who left to "pursue other opportunities," which apparently meant modeling weird gothic outfits while speaking one line of dialogue per episode on Joe Millionaire. On TS, she was somewhat aloof and had a wry attitude about the whole thing, totally different from Paige.

My friend is dating this guy who can barely contain himself from moaning with desire whenever Paige Davis appears in one of her very tight outfits. To watch TS with him is to hear him say, "I wonder when she's gonna do Playboy," "Man, I'd love to see her naked," "Oh God, she is so hot," in a very low voice repeatedly for an hour. I think he thinks that only the other guys in the room can hear it, like he's speaking on some guy-only frequency.

trading spaces
 

Your friend needs a new BF who has the tact to keep the other-chick-moaning less audible. Unless he's burning to hear her purr over her stud-of-choice to his pals and thereby totally emasculate him.