Having crossed into America Jr. at several locations, I think the delay is less a question of how long you personally will be screened and more a function of how much traffic there is coming across. If you're crossing into Lacole, PQ from Champlain, NY at 9:00 p.m. on a Tuesday, you'll be the only one on the road and across the border in less time than it takes to pay a toll on the Thruway. If you're crossing into Queenston, ON from Lewiston, N.Y. at 3:00 p.m., expect to be backed up in traffic for a while.

Once you get to the booth, it's a snap:

"Citizenship? What is your purpose in visiting Canada? How long do you intend to stay? Do you have any weapons? Are you carrying anything you intend to leave in Canada? Ok, thank you."

If you have no i.d., wear a turban, or have a runny nose, you might get held up a bit longer or even get sent to second stage screening, but in maybe a hundred trips across the border, it's never happened to me. The only times I've had friends get sent to second stage is when they were impolite to the border guards or acted like assholes.

What's next, clubbing baby seals?
 

America betrayed -- Jack Daniel's lowers alcohol content

The horror. The horror!

Shit -- it's already over.
 

sorry, wrong board.

Years ago, a friend of mine went up to Quebec City for a long weekend with her boyfriend. On their return they complained about how the border crossing took them over an hour. I asked about traffic, Bruins/Canadians games, weather, the usual delays. No, they encountered none of those. There was no traffic, only a few cars at the crossing, no Bruins buses. They couldn't figure out why they got pulled over, asked inside and intterogated seperately. My next question - where did you cross? Jackman, Maine*. I laughed. An interracial couple in the middle of winter driving 8 hours through the wilds of Maine to an obscure border crossing used mostly by loggers, truckers, trip canoeists on the St. John, and smugglers nah, that wouldn't be suspicious.

They had no problems coming through St. Albans on the return.

*Jackman, ME where pre 9/11 they would wave you through if you had a canoe and an ash pole on the Suburban, carried your wangan in a packbasket, or sounded like a Bert and I recording.

Bring it, but don't show it unless it would appear to resolve some sort of question that has been raised. The border guard is expecting to see a driver's license; handing him anything else makes him ask himself why.

more passport action
 

All this passport stuff seems to have broken the board, but I have another question:

I have lost my passport, and I probably won't have my new one for a while. Can I get in and out of Mexico on a flight with my driver's license and a certified copy of my birth certificate?

I gotta feva...and the only prescription is...
 

REMEMBER DEERFIELD!
 

Obviously, I suspect your friend has been put on the terrorist watch list with that Peace Train guy. After all, Quebec is nothing more than an outpost for our oldest enemy, France, and I'm sure they consorted with our enemies there.

REMEMBER DEERFIELD! Fuck the French!

more passport action
 

Yes, a birth certificate and license are all you need.

New avatar
 

New avatar, because Sarah Silverman is hot, funny and has beautiful breasts.

REMEMBER DEERFIELD!
 

This was back in the early 90's. I think the only African-American in Maine at that time was a ski instructor I knew at Sugarloaf.

Ever been to Jackman?

New avatar
 

She was hotter before she had Jimmy Kimmel's dick in her mouth. She is funny, though.

New avatar
 

Phew! I though Freddy Adu was following in the footsteps of Michael Jackson.

New avatar
 

Oh my god, I had no idea that she is with that unfunny loser. That is just sad. She would look far better with my dick one quarter of the way into her mouth.*

* It's when I say stuff like this that I'm glad this board is anonymous.

New avatar
 

And in your picture, looks like the video game version of Lara Croft.