Mehhhhhmories...of the way we were
 

Originally posted by ltl/fb
"Hm, it's possible. Have you ever noticed that guys (but rarely girls) say with alarming frequency that taking a dump is one of the best feelings in the world? Is this because of prostate stimulation? I've been wondering that one for a while, but don't think I've ever asked anyone."

Guys enjoy it for the same reason chicks enjoy it - because you have to "drop the kids off at the pool" at least once a day or you feel like hell.

childhood nostalgia overload
 

Two best cartoons, ever.

I watched them every day. I would watch them now if they were on, at least until I realized that they are not nearly as clever and involved as I remember thinking they were when I was like ten (as seems to be the case with everything else I liked then -- anybody seen Caddyshack lately? - Not nearly as funny as I remembered).

I especially liked Starblazers because it had a serial storyline rather than isolated vignettes.

Vanilla - poll... The Naked Channel... Er, Poll?
 

Your reaction is correct. They did have such a format on cable. It was called the playboy channel and it sucked. 15 minute vignettes of the models with them running around with a beachball or blowing bubbles or playing the piano (naked). No hardcore closeups or anything. This is why Playboy is near bankruptcy. Hef has "vaginaphobia". He thinks it's unclassy for him to show that stuff. A pornographer who is afraid to show vaginas and wants people to think his magazine is "classy". Yeah, that is a good business model.

childhood nostalgia overload
 

Starblazers is the best ever. It is the mother of all Anime cartoons. It was like a soap opera, except with cool blue aliens, space ships and lots of lasers. As a kid, you can't get enough lasers. Phoenix 5 was pretty cool too, but nothing beats Starblazers.

Vanilla - poll... The Naked Channel... Er, Poll?
 

That doesn't bode well for the future of the upcoming video game where players try to become a successful Playboy tycoon. Seems less fun if in the end you will be put into bankruptcy... Of course amassing the mansions and screwing the bimbettes during the climb up could make up for that.

Vanilla - poll... The Naked Channel... Er, Poll?
 

Your reaction is correct. They did have such a format on cable. It was called the playboy channel and it sucked. 15 minute vignettes of the models with them running around with a beachball or blowing bubbles or playing the piano (naked). No hardcore closeups or anything. This is why Playboy is near bankruptcy. Hef has "vaginaphobia". He thinks it's unclassy for him to show that stuff. A pornographer who is afraid to show vaginas and wants people to think his magazine is "classy". Yeah, that is a good business model. [/QUOTE]

A. Playboy just recently turned a profit.

B. How do you explain the success of Maxim, Stuff and FHM?

C. I am not envisioning an airbrushed Playboy channel. I'm thinking more of a "Here's Mary - she's an aspiring actress. Now she'll undress for you" format. The idea is that seeing one woman undress is like M&Ms - you'll stay for another. The idea of finding out what a hot chick looks like under the clothes is addictive. Net porn doesn't hold you because of the sex aspect - its like gambling - you wonder what's behind the next link. In the same way, parading amateurs and models will hold people. It works along the same principles as Girls Gone Wild, but is more organized and not as contrived.

D. Playboy is wickedly out of touch. Hef is a fucking relic. The articles about the latest audio equip and scotch snifters are like 50s nostalgis pieces. HOWEVER, splashing pink everywhere and money shots galore is extreme in the other direction.

E. Playboy used to show vagina in the 70s and 80s when the disco mitt was popular. Now, however, the shaved look is in - so its harder to show vagina and still be somehwta discrete. Plus, for every attractive pink shot, there's another model who looks like a spoonful of roast beef down there. Do you want to be the photographer who says "On second thought, maybe you'd better close your legs a bit more."

Vanilla - Another Perverted Poll
 

Twice. Both times by my mom. I think she's more scarred by it than me.

First time I was about 13. I was in my bed under the covers and had just completed the act when my mom wandered in. She sat on the side of my bed and was talking about whatever when she happened to place her hand on my chest. Like I said, I had just completed the act so my heart was still racing. She took notice of this and asked me if I was doing drugs.

Thus, I was faced with an unenviable choice: do I admit to masterbation or drug use? I chose masterbation. I said something like: "Jesus Christ mom, I'm not doing drugs! I was masterbating, OK?" I actually said "masterbating".

She was completely mystified by the whole thing (couldn't understand why I was doing it) and wanted to discuss it. I basically was just beligerent to her until she left and I could pull my damn pants back up and get the hell out of the house.

The second time I was about 15. My mom opened my bedroom door to tell me something while I was in the middle of the act. She asked, "What are you doing?" I just laughed because there really was nothing to say. She replied, "I'd have thought you'd have outgrown that by now." Sure mom, 15 is just about the age that males get some sort of control over their sexual urges.

childhood nostalgia overload
 

Not just lasers, but really, really big lasers. I think one the reasons I liked it some much was that around the time the series started in my hometown, I had just toured some historic battleship or another (these were big items on vacations with the parents back then), and so was properly primed to be awed by the magnitude of the premise (which was, for the 90% of you who don't know, that the Earth government, threatened by attack by some alien species, converted a sea-going conventional battleship into a space ship in which the entire body of the ship was one very, very large gun, fired by pulling the trigger on a handgun grip stuck in the dashboard).

childhood nostalgia overload
 

They never really explained why blue aliens from thousands of light-years away who we never heard of before wanted to destroy our planet and kill us all, but that little hole in the plot didn't occur to me until I was too old to watch cartoons. Well, technically I still watch cartoons, but now it's South Park, Futurama, and Family Guy.

[edited to correct my martian grammar]

childhood nostalgia overload
 

This game still exists, by the way, and is played in many-a-preschool across the land (or at least in TCOTU).

"Pretty sneaky sis" indeed.

And whoever mentioned "slip and slide" brought a smile to my face -- if ever there was an item the presence of which should serve as a barrier to home insurance coverage, the "Slip N'Slide" is it. It should have been called "Broken Bones -- Guaranteed!"

(Simpson's episode with the trampoline?... Anybody?)

Great, something new to be paranoid about
 

First off, is the key to the Mary will undress for you the "for you " part? The ego is all part of the male fantasy right?

Second, and I am scared to ask this and will probably reqret it. But, I wont let that stop me. What is the difference between "pink" and a "spoonful of roast beef"? Huge labia? Dark skin? I never really thought of vaginas as "attractive" like breassts are. When the camera gets in too close, my reaction is "please, I am not a gynocologist for a reason" To me they are all kind of equally weird looking. I dont get it. SO explain the difference between pink and roast beef.

childhood nostalgia overload
 

To this day whenever I see a trampoline I hear Homer saying "Tram-pam-poline." Then I giggle.

Great, something new to be paranoid about
 

1. Ego is for social invalids with small dicks (See: 9 out of 10 law firm partners you know). I just like looking at naked chicks. No need to conquer or seduce - how one gets to the pleasure he seeks seems immaterial to me. I'm not a "thrill of the chase" kinda cat. Just gimme what I want.

2. Some chicks have a roast beefy look to their vaginas - the outer part seems to be like the more cooked part of rare roast beefy, and the inside is, well, pink. This is most pronounced in chicks with huge labia - and you're right - as Warren Zevon (the spirits bless him) would say, "it ain't that pretty at all." The color scheme differs from chick to chick. Some guys have this problem as well - I recall showering in a group shower in college with a white cat I knew from Sweden who had a totally brown dick. It was like he'd had a transplant.

childhood nostalgia overload
 

What IS it with you people? You make it sound as though these 70s toys are relics and you couldn't possibly get your hands on one today.

Let me disabuse you of this quaint notion -- Transformers go-bots, He-man, Connect Four, Lite Brite, Spirograph -- all these things are still available at your local toy store.

Come to think of it though, I haven't seen the Sunshine Family in any store -- I had the house and I think the General Store when I was a wee one. But I don't have any girls, and my boys don't like "girl toys". (My older son says he likes everything except baby stuff and girl toys.)

Talking about the Sunshine Family brings back scarring memories of youth -- when a friend (Paula) came over, and we were playing with the Sunshine Family, we decided to play "History of the Sunshine Family". The parents met, decided to get married, had the wedding, etc. and then when it came time to have the baby, my friend starting mushing the mother and father's "privates" (not anatomically correct dolls, thank God) together, and I was horrified! I asked what in the world she was doing, and she explained that that's how babies were made. I didn't believe her (as my mother had explained that babies were made when you were married and you prayed a lot... what a creepy answer...).

When my mother finally broke the real story to me, the first thing I thought was, "Gee, I guess Paula was right!" (Paula had an older sister and was therefore wise in the ways of the world...)

Vanilla - Another Perverted Poll
 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by ltl/fb
Hm, it's possible. Have you ever noticed that guys (but rarely girls) say with alarming frequency that taking a dump is one of the best feelings in the world? Is this because of prostate stimulation? I've been wondering that one for a while, but don't think I've ever asked anyone.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ok, well a co-worker (male) once told me that there was nothing better than a good sneeze. And then all the other guys in the room chuckled. Is that the same thing?
:partytime

childhood nostalgia overload
 

Wow.

Mehhhhhmories...of the way we were
 

So Mrs. Dangerfield is Asian?

Vanilla - Another Perverted Poll
 

Dr. Ruth once said "ein orgasm ist like ein sneeze."

I was in HS at the time, and thereafter, whenever someone sneezed in the presence of my best friend and me, we would bust out laughing. It was even funnier to us because nobody knew what we were laughing at. Our band teacher did not find that habit funny, however, when someone in the band sneezed just a second before we were about to start playing at the spring concert, in that moment when the auditorium was supposed to be silent with anticipation.

We had no decorum. I miss that high school experience of being with your best friend and laughing for no reason and until you are practically in tears.

Dontcha just hate it when you feel the sneeze, it's about to happen, yeah, gonna sneeze, gonna sneeze, oh, goddammit, not gonna sneeze now.

Vanilla - Another Perverted Poll
 

The FB is like this for me, almost daily. Must be lack of sleep.

Sopranos
 

Sopranos Spoiler: Furio(us) Speculation From FoxNews











The word last night at HBO's cool outdoor party for The Wire confirmed something we reported here a few weeks ago: So far, the new season of The Sopranos is missing Furio.

When pony-tailed actor Federico Castelluccio (search) showed up sans his mane a couple of months ago, I told you that probably meant he was off the show. His character, Furio, had flirted with Carmela Soprano (Edie Falco) but split for Italy when Tony found out in the season finale.

Now I'm told that four episodes into shooting the possibly last season, Furio is so far a no-show.

"If he comes back, he'll be killed," said an insider speaking of the character, not the actor. "So what can he do?"

Nevertheless, Castellucci was looking fit and happy at The Wire premiere, along with several actors from that show and from HBO's Oz. Also on hand were Sopranos star Vince Curatola with his beautiful wife Maureen, actors Liev Schreiber and Sam Rockwell and, of course, the cast of The Wire.

HBO is grooming that show and others in case Sopranos creator David Chase (search) decides not to return next year for a sixth season. Believe it or not, it's up to him. "And he hasn't decided yet," says our source.

You Oughta Know
 

Indeed. Everytime she scratches her nails down someone else's back, I feel it. And when she went down on me in a theater, was that whitebread?

Apropos of nothing, fuck the Devils, and fuck Gomez, that fucking Alaskan.

Not Happy

You Oughta Know
 

Not Professor Whitebread, I hope.

Please Not Bob, please, please make your avatar Not Bob Saget. He's making my eyes bleed.

Bring back Rockford. :drool:

Not only can I not believe that Dave Coulier would inspire such strong feelings in any woman, I cannot believe that Alanis dated both Dave Coulier AND Bob Saget.

I wonder if either was a divining rod type of guy? That would explain things.

childhood nostalgia overload
 

When my brother asked the babysitter (a relative) where babies came from, she turned to my parents to pass the question along. Mom was long gone, but she managed to catch the back of my dad's head as he sprinted out the door.

When my little sister was born, I was mislead into believing that the hospital is sorta' like a store where you go to fill out some forms and get a baby. When we went to the baby aquarium, Papa Dots pointed to one of the creatures and indicated that it was the one they had picked out.

*sigh*
 

So I get back from lunch mmmm Indian food, and one of the secretaries comes up to me and says, have you read your email?

Why, no, I respond, is there something to see? She says only that (name redacted) has sent out an email informing everyone we are using post it notes incorrectly. They are expensive and people are using them as scrap paper. You should get scrap paper and use that as scrap paper.

So I open email and sure enough, there it is, an email telling everyone we are using post it notes wrong. This email came from one of our senior attorneys.

Fortunately for me, it would seem, I use my post it notes correctly.

PHEW

childhood nostalgia overload
 

A female friend related that when she was four, she asked her mom where babies come from, her mom replied that a man and a woman kiss for a while, and then they press down on the woman's belly button, and a baby comes out. Like all truly great lies, this was merely a highly simplified version of the truth.

The unintended consequence was that my friend was scared to death of her own belly button for the remainder of her childhood. She screamed bloody murder whenever she was being bathed, and later still couldn't bring herself to clean her own belly button for fear of birthing an unwanted infant. Her mom had long forgotten the lie, and was always mystified by her daughter's weird phobia.

I guess it's better than having vagina issues, though.

Dicks in Porn
 

Sebby: "This leads into my next point - dicks ruin porn. Sure, money shots are amusing, kinda like a dramatic peak in a movie, but do we males really need to see spewing cocks in these flicks/photos? I would like to start an "All Naked" channel where models and regular women just walk around naked all day. Each woman gets 15 minutes on screen and they run in loops like MTV runs videos. No dicks, no hard core spread shots - just naked hotties and amateurs. I think this format would be absolutely addictive."

You may be right (i.e. I know other men who think like you), but you wouldn't get my money. Dicks are necessary to porn for me, and I want insertion. For me, the fantasy is that I get to fuck her, or she blows me, or whatever, and I place myself in that guy's position. Cinemax, Playboy, or cable porn with all the penetration scenes removed don't excite me, they frustrate me. With a magazine, I'm using the pictorials in this order: (1) with a guy in them; (2) with toys in them (because I can fantasize that the implement is my dick); and (3) the girl/girls sans guys.

I am so glad that magazines finally show penetration - the simulated sex pictorials were uber-frustrating. I would keep turning the pages hoping (although knowing it wasn't going to happen) to see a pic where her lips actually touched his dick. That, however, does kind of make Sebby's point - that people will keep watching hoping that something more happens, but eventually something has to happen.

Put another way, I enjoy the buildup and the (cock) tease, but ultimately there has to be closure. I think for similar reason, pure handjobs have never appealed to me and will rarely get me off; however, if I think there is a chance that there will eventually be some oral contact, and that comes (yes, comes) to fruition, I don't need more. For example, one girl was jacking me off for several minutes before she simply kissed the tip of my penis, and boom, get the Kleenex. YMMV.

childhood nostalgia overload
 

When I was a kid I just read a set of Time/Life books someone had bought at a tag sale, so my parents never bothered to approach me with that excruciating conversation. The 'teen' section warned that "necking" could lead to "petting" which could to "intercourse," which was a series of incredibly ugly clinical drawings that would've helpfully killed the sex drive of any kid old enough to have one anyway.

Between that and "Are you There God, It's Me Margaret" explaining the whole period and bosom thing, I was covered way in advance.

*sigh*
 

Placing a post-it note on this attorney's door with the words "YOU SUCK!" scrawled across it would, I believe, constitute an appropriate use of the little sticky bastards.

aV

Online Monday
 

Article in The American Lawyer regarding the board schism - http://www.americanlawyer.com/

Online Monday
 

Doesn't seem to be online yet. Just a note it will be on the 2nd

Online Monday
 

Note my Re: Line

Online Monday
 

Sorry didn't notice it.

This reminds me of the time (before law school) when the company I worked at sent out a memo the we would have to pay for our own business cards and that the company would no longer send out pens and note pads - we would have to provide our own. Seems that we were using, on average, 24 pens per month per store! Wow, that's a whole $2. So when the reps heard that we had to pay for our own business cards, and how pissed off we were about it - it got back to the owners. Turns out a guy with his own Bentley and 727 doesn't want people to think he's cheap. Then they started paying for our business cards after that. I'm guessing if people start talking about how "cheap" and petty the firm is, the issue goes away.
:idea:

This reminds of the time (before law school) when the manager at a stupid company I worked for put out a "suggestion box" by the employee break room. My suggestion was always the same "go fuck yourself". Once a day, everyday, rain or shine, I would put that suggestion in. At our stupid weekly meetings, which we didn't get paid for, he would discuss that weeks suggestions. Once he threatened that he would start checking handwriting if whoever it was didn't stop putting obscene suggestions in the box. After he mentioned that, everyone else started telling him what to do with box, and they eventually got rid of it.

This is a pet peeve of mine. Nearly every state makes this HUGELY illegal, and yet employers have been getting away with it for years. In several states, there's a code section expressly on point that includes an award of attorneys' fees.

The next time someone tells you a cute story about a former employer who fucked them by making them pay for supplies, tools, or uniforms (or failing to reimburse them for things like mileage or business entertainment), send them to an employment plaintiffs' attorney. Seriously --- there's huge money in this.

It's totally fucked up that employers are foisting off the costs of doing business on their employees. Nobody should be nickel and dimed to death, merely because only nickels and dimes are at stake in any given instance.

Great, something new to be paranoid about
 

Was it brown for the duration of the shower?

TM

Although my law firm didn't take away supplies, they did move them to a central supply room, and away from the supplies closet on each floor. Turns out that every August, the supply of pens, pencils, notepads, and notebooks took a precipitous decline. The cheap-bastard partners were apparently loading up for their poor children.

My employer is nickel and diming us, we have been in a bit of, well not really a bit of, a huge deficit, given our budget. Over the past few months, I and the other attorneys have managed to decrease it to where it is almost entirely gone, and it should be gone by next month. I don't work in a firm as most of you know, I am as much a business woman as I am a lawyer. So we aren't talking billing here, the only time I fill out a time sheet is when I let them know I am going to take a couple vacation days.

The thing is however that we didn't pull ourselves out of the slump by nickel and diming, that had no real impact. The impact came from the level of work being performed by the attorneys and the support staff. What they cannot seem to get through their heads is that by nickel and diming us they impact the morale and make people want to leave. You cannot expect people to work their asses off for you continuously and then do stupid shit like this. This was not an edict from on high, but we have gotten some winners of late I have to say. None of them directly impacted me, but it was almost like you could feel the morale slip with each one. Sort of like a tree slowly being chopped down.

If I, or one of the other attorneys who have been around long enough to be making a major contribution should leave, they would be very screwed. Because it takes a new employee (and we have a couple new ones) a good long time to learn how to do what we do, and we have to carry them for a while before they can carry themselves. I'd say I bring in about 10% give or take, of the money we make. I'd also say it took me a good year before I was carrying myself, and a couple of years to get to the point where I am now.

So if I left, they'd not only lose that 10% for at least a little while, they would have someone acting as a financial drain (along with his or her staff which had been productive under me, but would take some time to learn to be productive under someone else.)

Why can employers never seem to understand, your people are your real value? It doesn't matter whether you sell, you bill, you create, or you sit and answer phones. People are not as easily replaced as some bosses like to say, especially in a job that requires a lot of training and/or time to learn They need to show their appreciation to keep employees happy, make them good workers, and keep them around. The last thing they need to do is say buy your own pens, paper, what have you.

I have yet to see a law firm, a company like mine, or really many companies at all that understand this basic concept. It's nuts.


So....anyone hiring?

Great, something new to be paranoid about
 

Nah, I helped him clean it off.

S(hey... what can I say? I was feelin frisky...)D

Dicks in Porn
 

I think you've been waiting for 3 months for the opportunity to write that post. You must be immensely relieved.