As tall as I wanna be.
 

You and I should probably just walk quickly away from this trainwreck of a theorizor, laughing quietly to ourselves as he attempts to convince all of our cast-off women that he can make up with height what he couldn't deliver in satisfaction, and not pointing out to him that "ohh, Ohhh, OOOHHH!!! is probably better than "boy, you're tall for such an ugly guy".

But, we should work on being preternaturally youthful, and not the other kind. It makes us sound like we're before the mast.

art imitating life imitating art imitating life and so on and so forth
 

"'Namaste,' Santa said, greeting 7-year-old Chandi Kaushari and her two younger sisters in Hindi. Chandi confided a wish in a universal language. 'Barbie,' she said."

Even Santa knows it is a greeting. He must secretly be from Minnesota.

<sigh> I miss the Petunia. <sniff>

Peace out.

Witty as a flower
 

Originally posted by bilmore

Doesn't that theory fall if there's a direct correllation between height and penis length? And if I'm not mistaken, there is -- and not in your favor.

But come now man, you can't credit your and cheffie's success with women to your height. Your wit and charm make you far from representative.

Ads
 

Ads I like:

The microsoft office ads (despite their being for microsoft) mocking football and soccer celebrations in offices.

NFL Network. "It's good to be Rich" is hilarious. Although it's a bit odd that the NFL, after objecting to The Playmakers, is running an ad for its own network promoting the bling of the NFL player. I suppose they cut out the part with Rich Eisen and some player stuffing twenties in a girl's twat.

Ads I don't like:

Folgers. Why the hell are you using a song about remembering your first fuck with a girl to advertise coffee? Doesn't your ad agency look at the lyrics beyond the chorus?

Macy's. Thank goo the stupid jingle that plays every ad break in DC will be over on Dec. 24.

Creepy
 

Today I decided that while it works for Old St. Nick the red hat with poofy ball-thingy on the end is just plain creepy on middle-aged men driving to work in SUVs. For women it is a toss-up -- some, like me, are simply adorable in a festive cap while others can ruin the holiday spirit for you.

Also creepy is listening to R. Kelly sing about having sex -- I love the song but it still creeps me out when I think of who he might be singing about.

My background music selection for today is "Elvis Presley - It's Christmas Time." Completely not creepy.

Witty as a flower
 

I think you just make things up as you type.

Witty as a flower
 

According to my own personal research, I have not found that to be true.

Creepy
 

Excellent choice. I had to make a mix, as I could not find both The Waitresses and Chuck Berry on the store-bought compilations.

I am just delighted whenever anyone tries to wear a half-decent hat these days, though agreed that some crease-browed broker can't pull off a merry prank hat without a personality makeover. I am dearly hoping hats will come back for year-round wear for everyone, and assume the doofuses will sort themselves out fashionwise over time.

Ditto nightcaps. No thanks to central heating, they are a lost art.

Ads
 

I fucking hate those ads.

Happy holidays.

Fear Factor
 

Did anyone see Saturday's episode? Participants had to choose between eating: (1) rotten squid covered in flies; (2) cod egg sacs covered in ants; (3) worm sausage (various worms squirming around in a big fat sausage casing); and (4) dragonflies (alive and buzzing around in the cage).

I'm not easily grossed out but I swear I have had trouble eating since that show. What is the deal with this show? And did these people really eat this stuff?

And WTF is a cod egg sac????????
http://www.nbc.com/Fear_Factor/images/419_2.jpg

Creepy
 

That and, if you've seen the recent video of his set on a boat on Lake Michigan near Chicago, you're reminded that he's having a little trouble getting permission to leave the state.

short men
 

There's nothing wrong with short men. I don't see the problem. Short, medium, tall - I don't really care. I find many men attractive who are shorter than I am.

short men
 

There are no men shorter than I am, save "little people" (I understand that's the correct term nowadays), so no problem. And too tall is awful--just neck-breaking to kiss.

art imitating life imitating art imitating life and so on and so forth
 

Word. If she came back I would greet her with a hearty namaste.

Tally ho!

Fear Factor
 

Hi Diane! So, what have you been baking this holiday season?