Braces
 

My 8 year old was a thumb sucker and now has a stretched palate. Our dentist, who is also an orthodontist, wants to put her in braces in six months. She had her own kid in braces at age 9. This sounds awful early to me. Any thoughts?

Braces
 

We took 13-year-old in last week, after our dentist told us it was time. Ortho-guy (highly recommended from lots of sources) told us it was too early - that teeth were still going to move around a bit at this age (esp. since he just lost his last molar recently - adult teeth are smaller than kiddie teeth, so his mouth has more room to move around now). He suggested that we come back in a year. Said too early can be a waste, while too late is no problem except the braces might be on later in life.

Braces
 

I got braces just shy of my 10th birthday because my orthodontist had a kid starting college, or needed a new Benz, or something.

My teeth shifted after I got the braces off and the retainer didn't completely prevent it. I don't know if there were any advantages to having done it early (perhaps it's less traumatic?) other than not having braces in high school.

r(got the awkward physical stuff all over before 9th grade, but still working on that awkward social stuff;)p

Braces
 

I started wearing a headgear at 10, then had braces from 11-14. My teeth moved a little tiny bit on the bottom in the front after I had my bottom permanent retainer removed a few years after getting the braces off; I lost my upper retainer after only a few months and the doc had a wait-and-see attitude toward replacing it.

It does seem like kids are getting braces younger and younger, and for shorter periods of time. Maybe when they're younger, the teeth are easier to move without causing them trauma? One of my front teeth died recently, and our best theory is that it was a delayed reaction to how far it had to move during orthodontia (possibly as much as a quarter-inch--I had super-buck teeth).

tm

proud moments in parenting
 

So I'm changing a diaper the other night, and the wipe is one of the last ones in the plastic box, which means it's moister than most. It's making those of his regions which are usually diaper-covered moist, and to speed things along and not leave him wet, I blow some air on said regions. This prompts some giggles.

Fast-forward to last night, again changing diapers. My son spreads his legs and says, "Blow me, Daddy!"

Too funny, but we're going to have to put the kibosh on this right away. I really don't want to have to explain this to DFS.

Braces
 

I'll have to check with her again (she's our next-door-neighbor, so I see her all the time). I think it's more about reshaping the palate than the teeth. I hope we don't wind up doing braces twice.

Moral of the story--don't let your kids suck their thumbs.

The Name Game
 

How do people feel about kids calling their parents by first names? I've always found it a bit odd, a kind of self-conscious "I'm cool" vestige like introducing Mrs. Finch as "this is my partner" instead of "this is Siddartha, my wife."

I ask because lately Sidd Jr. is using my first name. It's pretty random, no telling when he'll say "Sidd, kiss me goodnight" instead of "Daddy" (but never "blow me Daddy," okay???). And it's pretty hard not to laugh when he does it.

Is this a phase? Do I care if it isn't?

Thoughts are welcome. In fact, anything that gets me to stop giggling over Ty's post is welcome.

Braces
 

Any idea how to prevent them from sucking their thumb? Little Ritz is addicted to his pacifier, which is at least one of those supposedly orthodontic ones, whenever I try to take the thing away, he sucks his thumb. I can't decide which is worse the thumb or the pacifier. Any ideas for how to get him to do away with both - he's not two yet.

proud moments in parenting
 

If this were a different board, I would suggest that we had a new motto.....

The Name Game
 

Two words: Homer Simpson.

I believe this dilemma was the plot of an entire episode, the one with Liz Taylor as Maggie.

The Name Game
 

Mr. Turtle gets quite irrate when the kids use our first names. My feeling is that it has to be interesting to them that we have these multiple identities, and they are just trying them out. I wouldn't sanction it completely, and its good to give the message that they really should be calling you mom and dad, but I don't think it hurts to find it amusing once in a while. Besides, they'll call us worse a few years from now...

The Name Game
 

It's probably a phase. Gattigap Jr. knows my name and his mom's name and uses them on rare occasions, but I notice it's usually when he's borrowing phrases that he hears me or the SO use, trying them on for size.

He seems comfortable, though, in distinguishing between the two, and understands that to him, I'm "Daddy."

Gatti(perhaps this explains, though, that time he asked me to "get with the program, loser")gap

The Name Game
 

If he starts saying "Blow me, Sidd" then I'll really worry.


Either that, or I'll figure he's been reading the Politics board.

The Name Game
 

It's totally a phase. If you want to have some fun with it, whenever he calls you Sidd, call him Mr. Finch. I wouldn't get upset with it unless Sidd, Jr.'s 15 and he's telling you to fuck off.

Braces
 

The only effective way to get him over it is to wait until he's old enough to get bored with it. It ain't no big thang.

By the way, if he starts sucking big thangs, it is time to worry.

:cool:

The Name Game
 

Little Thread likes to copy me, and wore a name tag of mine (from a seminar) to school one day. Sometimes she announces she is changing her name to mine, and she writes down my name (she write down a lot of names, actually) in her drawings.

Like having a very short stalker around the house.

Braces
 

Most kids outgrow thumb sucking on their own but some don't, or at least not for a long time. It was a long, hard struggle to get her to stop, and even when she stopped sucking during the day, she sucked in her sleep until she was six. With our second, every time her thumb went near her mouth we would take it out. After a week or two she never tried anymore. She wasn't really into the pacifier much.

Braces
 

Questions to consider for LP:

Is the palate correction solely an orthodontic issue, or are there related speech or other issues? If so, those issues might be good enough reason to start correction now, even if it does not mean the correction process will end a lot sooner.

Also, does the orthodontist see your daughter's situation as a stable one or a deteriorating one? One of our kids is getting some corrective measures (short of braces, though) at 6, with a mouthful of mostly kid teeth, on the ground that without correction the palate and teeth will (according to the orthodontist) become significantly more distorted before it is time for braces, making the work for the braces much more painful and difficult.

How well do you trust the orthodontist to be making the right call (you may have an easier time with this than many do, since you have experience with em as regular dentist as well)? It could be worthwhile to get a second opinion before going forward if you feel like the doc is pushing you.

Ear Thermometer
 

So I got TWO of those $50 special ear thermometers at my baby shower.

Excuse me but are they SUPPOSED to be completely useless? After following the directions exactly, I took my own temperature and it showed as 95 degrees. (Now I can be a little cold blooded sometimes, but....) 30 seconds later it's 96. Then it's 94. The point of my registering for this piece of junk was for when Vietbabe is having a meltdown and I'm clearly not going to get a thermometer in her buttocks. :mr: A kinder, gentler way to determine if the meltdown means she has a temperature.

So what to do? I next bought a pacifier that said it takes the baby's temp that way. Problem: I tried it and the "beep" didn't go off for ten minutes. Vietbabe doesn't do anything for 10 minutes, much less suck on a oversized, hard, artificial nippy.



Thoughts? Thanks.

Thermometers
 

Everything I've ever heard or read says that the ear thermometers are completely useless. For Magnus, I've relied on using a digital thermometer in the armpit when I need to get a temp.

Most of the time, his mood has been at least as reliable an indicator as the temp. When he's feverish, he doesn't want to do anything but mope and snuggle. Another reliable fever checker is kissing her forehead--your lips are a much more constant temperature than your hands. If she feels just warm, but acts normal, she's probably fine. If she feels hot and acts mopey, take off all her clothes and get the Tylenol/Motrin whatever in her ASAP.

tm

proud moments in parenting
 

Along the same lines, I have a toddler who has become screwdriver fixated when we were recently doing some work on the house. We bought him his own screwdriver. He will now take it out of its drawer, walk up to me or Mrs. G3 and say "can we screw!"

Braces
 

Thanks for your comments. Actually, she does has a speech issue. I just need more info. My husband took her to the appointment so I wasn't there to ask the questions. Since she lives right next door, I'll just ask her next time I run into her.

Ear Thermometer
 

I've also found those ear thermometers to be completely useless, although I noticed that they use a commercialized version at my pediatrician's office. I asked the nurse whether they worked and she said, "not really." I should have asked "well then why do you use them?" but I thought that that might sound kind of rude especially since they are pretty gracious about answering my pages and pages (written) of questions whenever I go in for an appt. The under the arm temperature-taking method seems to work best - although when they really have a fever, you can pretty much tell just by touching them.

Serious issue, advice please?
 

redacted by request.

Serious issue, advice please?
 

All 50 states have passed some form of mandatory child abuse reporting law in order to qualify for funding under the Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act, 42 U.S.C. §§ 5101 et seq. As a teacher, your friend is almost definitely covered by your state’s law. In other words, she'll be breaking the law if she doesn't report. As an attorney, you are almost definitely not (although some states require "any person" to report, it's an attorney-client communication). Indeed, you'll want to protect any communications you had with your friend, as you have most definitely undertaken an attorney-client relationship with her.

As I recall, the rules require that the report to be made to a law enforcement authority or child protection agency; merely reporting an incident to a parent or school administrator will not satisfy your friend's legal duty.

Never tell any client to tell a law enforcement official "my attorney told me . . . ." No good can come of that. It helps no one, and it hurts both your client and you. She can truthfully say, "I want to do the right thing here, and the right thing is to report it."

In short, there's some bad voodoo here. Whatever the rule is in your state, it doesn't fall into the realm of individual discretion. Good luck!

redacted by request

Just to be clear, it will be a waiver of any A/C privilege if she tells either her boss or the cops, "My lawyer told me I had to report it."

No sentence in the English language should ever begin with "My lawyer told me . . ." no matter who the audience is. If she wants to waive the privilege at some later point on the advice of (separate?) counsel, that's another matter, but she shouldn't do it by a mere slip of the tongue.


Edited to note this post was actually made around 8:00 pm on April 30. - Leagleaze

Serious issue, advice please?
 

You've received feedback on the law enforcement reporting issue, but not on the -- more important -- parental reporting issue. I think you are correct in your instinct that the school's (and your friend's) handling of the matter is something that will make a difference not only to the parents of the student who was directly involved, but also to other parents, who need to have confidence that the school will not cover up questionable incidents.

How your friend needs to respond depends to some extent on what her role is with respect to the child. I can't tell from your post whether she is the child's regular classroom teacher, an assistant in the classroom, a pullout teacher, or in some other role. If she is the classroom teacher, for instance, I think she has a responsibility to the parents to make sure that the school seriously investigates the incident, determines what happened, determines whether the (other) teacher's behavior was inappropriate, determines whether this is a continuing pattern with that teacher (and, if so, what needs to be done about it), and reports all of that to the parents. Even if your friend's connection to the student and the incident is more attenuated, it still may be the right thing to do to keep a fire lit under the investigation, both because your friend was falsely accused, and because of her suspicions that there may be a pattern of inappropriate behavior.

serious issue, please advise
 

you say "probably occured" which implies your friend hasn't seen any of this. this might (hopefully should) impact on mandatory reporting shouldn't it. schools today are ran by administrators who run from any potential legal threat. your friend raising this brings a threat, and the accused teacher could also bring some action. what I've seen in schools is that the administrators decide to support whoever brings in the scariest lawyer. It might be mandatory but I'd really be careful in reporting simply what she has heard.

Yes, there are two issues here. One is how I must behave as an attorney, because there is no doubt at all we have an attorney client relationship. The other is how I feel as a human being.

As a human being I am outraged at the way the school has handled this.

But, my research and the advice I have received makes it clear I legally have no obligation to report it, and of course, due to my relationship now with my friend as her attorney on this issue, I cannot just go and report it without an appropriate waiver, only after she has received advice from a different attorney on the issue.

I don't think I want to be any more specific about her role and what she has seen or hasn't seen on this board. I hope you understand. I feel I've probably already shared more than I ought to, though I tried to be general. But yes, one of my concerns remains the reliability of the information in the first place, at least in regard to this one particular complaint.

The Name Game
 

Which explains why my Little Fan sometimes calls me or the hubby "Honey," "Hon" or "Dear" -- as in "c'mere hon." The Little Fan has also been known to yell out hubby's first name in a shrill manner, but I don't for the life of me know where that comes from. :shrug:

ThrashersFan

Braces
 

Poke holes in pacifier and the Ritz Bitz will discard it b/c it is no longer pleasurable. If holes are not enough, cut the tip off. Not sure what to do about the tumb b/c the end of the "binky" in my house didn't lead to that.

Thrashers(Rhett Butler was told to put quinine on little Bonnie Blue Butler's thumb but I don't know if it works)Fan

Books
 

Thanks to whoever recommended "I Love You, Stinky Face"--Magnus at 2 2/3 typically only gets really excited about counting and alphabet books, but this one he loves.

tm

Happy Mothers Day
 

...to all you Moms and thanks so much for all your advice these past few months. Being shut in with the snow all alone with a teeny one, it was great to post questions and get all your experienced replies. Especially when I posted at 4 am and had a reply by 7 am! Do any of us sleep?

Vietbabe and I are doing great and I can't believe how things have changed from her 3rd month to her (almost) 8th month. I realize now that much of Vietbabe's behavior was because I didn't have her since birth and she wasn't used to her new home. She's gone from a weepy, frightened little thing to a giggly confident 8 month old. And I've gone from a weepy, frightened big thing to a giggly confident Mom (most of the time that is). I used to, in absolute exhaustion (and bad jetlag that seemed to last two months) count the hours until her naps and bedtime. Now I'm out with Vietbabe past 8:30 pm chiding her, "Oh, come on; you're not tired already are you?" What a change. And I also realize that I CAN do this again!!! (Though I may wait a year). Next up: a 3-8 year old boy from somewhere in Africa or India, depending on country need and consideration of language barriers.

Thanks again and enjoy your special day.

Vietmom

Swelled headed kiddy?
 

So, newly-teened Bagguette seems somewhat charmed. All the girls think he's heavenly, (he looks more like his mom than me, obviously), he excels in at least two sports per season, (top scorer in soccer, killer linebacker in football, top scorer in basketball), everyone wants to be his bud, the girls never stop calling, (like, five per night, plus his killer straight-A state-level-soccer player girlfriend), he's a straight-A student (except when he decides it's not important, which so far has included MATH!?, which he does great but thinks the homework is stoooopid), his relatives all coo over him because he's so funny and friendly and smart and helpful and . . .), but I think he's getting really good at living off of his rep.

He's turning into one of those winner kids I used to resent in HS, and I think he's picking up all of the traits that made me resent them. He's taking his popularity for granted, (well, yeah, dad, of course they all call me all the time) he's somewhat dismissive of those what don't have the same attributes (I love talking like the guy in The Alienist), and it just strikes me that he's taking his salad days too much as his natural due. I don't think he recognizes his charmed existence.

Am I being nutso? Too resentful of what I didn't have? I can't tell. I just don't want him to grow into one of those people who take everything for granted and discount the idea that other people might not enjoy the advantages, natural or not, that he has.

Bilmore's Post
 

[he excels in at least two sports per season...he's a straight-A student...he's so funny and friendly and smart and helpful and . . one of those winner kids.]

Just how "teen" is he? Sounds like MY kind of guy. Does he like older gals?

[Am I being nutso? Too resentful of what I didn't have? I can't tell. I just don't want him to grow into one of those people who take everything for granted and discount the idea that other people might not enjoy the advantages, natural or not, that he has.]

No I don't think you're nuts. And I also doubt your resentful. I just think you are seeing him at a point in his life where he's really gliding through pretty easy. It seems to me you are worried he may turn into a snob of snorts. But does he lack humility and compassion for others? You may not know right now as he's probably is wrapped up in sports and all, but....if girls are calling and everyone is being his bud, he is probably getting confident. The important thing is his self esteem comes from inside. If it does (and you're probably a great Dad who has instilled this in him) then I wouldn't worry. Someone with confidence and self esteem is likely to grow up not always fretting/obsessing about their own self and more attuned to others' feeling. I think I was a confident, popular kid too (but also sucked at Math). And I don't think it made me oblivious to the less advantaged. If anything, it did the opposite.

Some of my friends were not popular and had a hard time growing up, unlike your son. Many of them are kind of wrapped up in their selves and issues and don't do a shred of volunteer work and probably wouldn't go out of their way to help someone less advantaged.

Like I said as long as his self-esteem comes from inside and you continue to make sure he stays "grounded", he should turn out just fine. Also, it's not in your post but maybe you see your son in his salad days and so unconsiously worry that he'll have a "fall" from this and you'll feel bad seeing him hurt. Well, he'll have the girl he likes that dumps him, and other disappointments in life. It's inevitable. And it will be his inner self esteem (and you, who he can turn to) that will make all the difference.

You know, you could always encourage him to do something like volunteer at a soup kitchen. I know that sounds dumb but I've done it quite a few times (BC -- before children) and I always had a great feeling doing it. If he demurs, you could always tell him chicks dig guys who do volunteer work!

Swelled headed kiddy?
 

I read this and sort of thought of my 11 year old boy. What are you going to do? Add some Harrison Beregeron type weight? Scar him? Of course not. If he is top in soccer and basketball, he works hard for that. Top scorers must practice, so he probably doesn't take that for granted. If his grades are good he probably works hard for that. As to being dismissive of "lessers", I think most kids are dismissive of each other.
Lazy at school? almost all kids are at this age. semi-truth has his mid-term grades, all good except for orchestra. he gets a C, because his practice sheets haven't gone in. thing is with his older sister we gave in and allowed forged practice sheets. that is, he is too lazy to forge practice sheets.
as to appreciating the need to work for stuff, I think a job and chores are great. anyway, I wouldn't worry.

Swelled headed kiddy?
 

Bilmore: Hi. My name is Bilmore Baggins, and I have a terrific child.

Everyone: Hi Bilmore!


It's OK to be popular. Someone has to be. Might as well be your kid. And it's also OK to enjoy being popular. As long as he's not a bully and doesn't pick on those less fortunate, I say let him enjoy himself.

College comes soon enough. Suddenly he won't be the only guy who gets good grades and can score goals. He may simply "only" be above average during college. I say let him enjoy himself now while he's the shit.

Have all your kids been exceptional like him? If they haven't, that may end up being your biggest headache:

"But you don't make Bilmore, Jr. study for his exams!"

"That's because he gets A's whether he studies or not."

"That's unfair!"

"True. Now go upstairs and study."

Bilmore's Post
 

That's exactly what I was going to say, except I was going to suggest making it a family activity. Some folks I know made a family tradition of serving at a soup kitchen every Thanksgiving morning. It was great family time, plus it helped them feel grateful and not complacent. I think doing it more than once a year (like, at least quarterly) would be even better.

If he really is cool, this can have the added side benefit of making service into the latest cool trend at school.

If you're already doing regular family service activities, forget what I just said.

tm

Movies
 

There are a bunch of kids' movies out. Bilmore, you have to take the kids to see Holes. You will like it as much as they will, I promise.

Next weekend--The Lizzie McGuire Movie. I'm not quite as excited about that one.