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notcasesensitive 07-09-2013 06:12 PM
Re: Dating (or not) advice?
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by taxwonk (Post 481155)
I would think that the way the relationship started would have the potential to sort of leave a feeling of something failed, for lack of a more sensitive word, in the air?

Also, just a thought (as if it were my place to tell you what you're thinking). You call the last guy Mr. Patience. You are now wondering if you can turn a failed dating partner into a friend. Is it possible you aren't really ready to start dating again? At least not above a certain threshold?
I only called him that because someone here called him that...

Hank Chinaski 07-09-2013 06:16 PM
Re: Dating (or not) advice?
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by taxwonk (Post 481155)

Also, just a thought (as if it were my place to tell you what you're thinking). You call the last guy Mr. Patience. You are now wondering if you can turn a failed dating partner into a friend. Is it possible you aren't really ready to start dating again? At least not above a certain threshold?
something tells me if her nickname for him was Mr. Leviathan (my HS nickname) she wouldn't be asking us any questions.

Hank Chinaski 07-09-2013 06:19 PM
Re: Dating (or not) advice?
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by notcasesensitive (Post 481154)
I'm back in the singles game after letting Mr Patience go last month. I've never really done much of the casually dating thing and I find myself with some questions. So I'll ask a bunch of married/coupled lawyer types (hey, are there any singletons out there? or better yet über smug divorcees??)...

What do/would you people do if you went out on a couple of dates with someone and you just weren't feeling the romantic thing but you were open to being friends? Would you tell the person that you are feeling friend vibe (assume they've asked you out again but no firm plans) or would you just not go out with them and leave it at that? Why am I so bad at this? Is there any point to trying to convert this barely-dated into a friend? No, right? So why is it hard for me to just blow someone off? Ugh.
do you want/need another friend (it seems not), or are you just considering that because he keeps asking you out, and it is a possibility that you could be friends? I have many female friends, but none that started out with a hope to get ummm, romantic. I'd drop it.

Hank Chinaski 07-09-2013 06:46 PM
I lahk them french fry'd pataters
 
So this is an example post from the facebook page for my hometown.I hope you see why my spelling and grammar may not be up to par with the rest of you. Also, when i see how stupid everyone from there is, Icannot believe I was not able to con more women into fucking me.

"Ok what was the name of the little arcade that was next to comerica bank now cell phone place that was next to eastgate shopping center?? It's now a pawn shop

Perhaps Ty can Venn diagram this?

Icky Thump 07-09-2013 07:23 PM
Re: Every day
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Icky Thump (Post 481148)
I am amazed by my ability to underestimate the ineptitude of law office staff.
Today we had someone delete 80% of the addresses from the firm wide spreadsheet of defense counsel because he/she did not know the difference between "copy" and "cut".

Flinty_McFlint 07-09-2013 07:33 PM
Re: Every day
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Icky Thump (Post 481160)
Today we had someone delete 80% of the addresses from the firm wide spreadsheet of defense counsel because he/she did not know the difference between "copy" and "cut".
Must have been pretty important to only keep one copy that just about anyone could edit.

Icky Thump 07-09-2013 07:39 PM
Re: Every day
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Flinty_McFlint (Post 481161)
Must have been pretty important to only keep one copy that just about anyone could edit.
My firm is too cheap to let us make extra copies.

notcasesensitive 07-09-2013 07:50 PM
Re: Dating (or not) advice?
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski (Post 481158)
do you want/need another friend (it seems not), or are you just considering that because he keeps asking you out, and it is a possibility that you could be friends? I have many female friends, but none that started out with a hope to get ummm, romantic. I'd drop it.
I need gwinky (no offence). I have great girlfriends, but I'm pretty lacking in (non-gay) guy friends, especially in my hood. This guy is new to my neighborhood and looking for more friends. We haven't even kissed (he gave me a kiss on the cheek first date, second date was a day date and we didn't kiss), so it's felt pretty friend vibe from the get-go. So, yes, it might be worth it to me as long as I think we are compatible friends. I don't really know if that is the case, because there are a few ways in which he is WAY too suburban for me. Things that make me unlikely to want to pursue something more, but he could be a fun guy to watch football with on Sundays or play poker with. Do things that my girlfriends don't really do. I don't know... Crazy?

Greedy,Greedy,Greedy 07-09-2013 07:56 PM
Re: Dating (or not) advice?
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by notcasesensitive (Post 481154)
I'm back in the singles game after letting Mr Patience go last month. I've never really done much of the casually dating thing and I find myself with some questions. So I'll ask a bunch of married/coupled lawyer types (hey, are there any singletons out there? or better yet über smug divorcees??)...

What do/would you people do if you went out on a couple of dates with someone and you just weren't feeling the romantic thing but you were open to being friends? Would you tell the person that you are feeling friend vibe (assume they've asked you out again but no firm plans) or would you just not go out with them and leave it at that? Why am I so bad at this? Is there any point to trying to convert this barely-dated into a friend? No, right? So why is it hard for me to just blow someone off? Ugh.
There was an episode of My Name is Earl where Catalina has this problem with Randy, so she resolves to make herself as disgusting as possible while sleeping with him - doesn't wash for days first, makes voices like his mother during sex, eats lots of gaseous food first. It cures him of all desire for her, but she falls for him in the process.

Greedy,Greedy,Greedy 07-09-2013 07:58 PM
Re: Dating (or not) advice?
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by notcasesensitive (Post 481163)
I need gwinky (no offence). I have great girlfriends, but I'm pretty lacking in (non-gay) guy friends, especially in my hood. This guy is new to my neighborhood and looking for more friends. We haven't even kissed (he gave me a kiss on the cheek first date, second date was a day date and we didn't kiss), so it's felt pretty friend vibe from the get-go. So, yes, it might be worth it to me as long as I think we are compatible friends. I don't really know if that is the case, because there are a few ways in which he is WAY too suburban for me. Things that make me unlikely to want to pursue something more, but he could be a fun guy to watch football with on Sundays or play poker with. Do things that my girlfriends don't really do. I don't know... Crazy?
First of all, you are just friends already from the sounds of it.

But as an alternative to the disgusting sex thing, you could ask him if he has any other guy friends he might set you up with?

notcasesensitive 07-09-2013 08:08 PM
Re: Dating (or not) advice?
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy (Post 481165)
First of all, you are just friends already from the sounds of it.

But as an alternative to the disgusting sex thing, you could ask him if he has any other guy friends he might set you up with?
You guys complain about not having women on the board, but I bring you a possibly interesting discussion point and you've killed it for me. I said in the first post we went out on two dates. It's not some big romance. Oh, yucky sex, right. I'm such a prude. Enjoy your sausage-fest.

bold_n_brazen 07-09-2013 08:14 PM
Re: Dating (or not) advice?
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by notcasesensitive (Post 481163)
I need gwinky (no offence). I have great girlfriends, but I'm pretty lacking in (non-gay) guy friends, especially in my hood. This guy is new to my neighborhood and looking for more friends. We haven't even kissed (he gave me a kiss on the cheek first date, second date was a day date and we didn't kiss), so it's felt pretty friend vibe from the get-go. So, yes, it might be worth it to me as long as I think we are compatible friends. I don't really know if that is the case, because there are a few ways in which he is WAY too suburban for me. Things that make me unlikely to want to pursue something more, but he could be a fun guy to watch football with on Sundays or play poker with. Do things that my girlfriends don't really do. I don't know... Crazy?
Not gwink, but I'll give it a shot.

If you'd like to hang out with him in certain kinds of scenarios, the next time he asks you to do something, suggest you do one of those things. And then treat it like a super platonic friend thing.

If you both like hanging out together, and he hasn't kissed you by the third date, it sounds like it's not particularly romantical for him either.

(which probably means he's gay too, since, you know, you're smoking hot and all.)

Icky Thump 07-09-2013 08:15 PM
Re: Dating (or not) advice?
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by notcasesensitive (Post 481163)
I need gwinky (no offence). I have great girlfriends, but I'm pretty lacking in (non-gay) guy friends, especially in my hood. This guy is new to my neighborhood and looking for more friends. We haven't even kissed (he gave me a kiss on the cheek first date, second date was a day date and we didn't kiss), so it's felt pretty friend vibe from the get-go. So, yes, it might be worth it to me as long as I think we are compatible friends. I don't really know if that is the case, because there are a few ways in which he is WAY too suburban for me. Things that make me unlikely to want to pursue something more, but he could be a fun guy to watch football with on Sundays or play poker with. Do things that my girlfriends don't really do. I don't know... Crazy?
Do you like hanging out with him? As long as you're honest -- at some point, doesn't have to be today -- what is the harm?

Icky Thump 07-09-2013 08:27 PM
Re: Dating (or not) advice?
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by bold_n_brazen (Post 481167)
(which probably means he's gay too, since, you know, you're smoking hot and all.)
Put on some Jamiroquai and see what he does.

Flinty_McFlint 07-09-2013 08:30 PM
Re: Dating (or not) advice?
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by notcasesensitive (Post 481163)
I need gwinky (no offence). I have great girlfriends, but I'm pretty lacking in (non-gay) guy friends, especially in my hood. This guy is new to my neighborhood and looking for more friends. We haven't even kissed (he gave me a kiss on the cheek first date, second date was a day date and we didn't kiss), so it's felt pretty friend vibe from the get-go. So, yes, it might be worth it to me as long as I think we are compatible friends. I don't really know if that is the case, because there are a few ways in which he is WAY too suburban for me. Things that make me unlikely to want to pursue something more, but he could be a fun guy to watch football with on Sundays or play poker with. Do things that my girlfriends don't really do. I don't know... Crazy?
Were these really "date" dates? Or was he just looking to actually make friends and stuff. If the former, I'd just call it like it is and say I'm not feeling anything romantic, but would like to be friends. Then he can either gracefully exit, or you can still go to football games and pound brews and such stuff that you don't do with girlfriends. If the latter, you can just keep going and maybe drop a hint or two like, hey, I have a single girlfriend you might like.

FYI: This is coming from someone who hasn't dated in a lifetime, and wasn't that great at it when he was.


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