arnold's platform
 

Thanks for sharing with the group Jack. I really feel like I've gotten to know you better.

We should hang out sometime. Maybe go grab a soda or something.

aV

fischbacher speaks
 

for shape shifter:

Fischbacher said he has been overwhelmed by the public support he and Horn have received since the accident.

"I never [could] imagine that Siegfried & Roy was that popular and loved," he said. "What we achieved is something. This is bigger. This is huge."



He also said that the "mauling" was merely an accident and Montecore thought he was helping another tiger offstage.

A Record for Singles
 

For the first time in history, all 10 of Billboard's top 10 singles are by black artisits. 9 of the 10 are rappers.

http://www.theage.com.au/articles/20...292573765.htm\

Even(hi, Coltrane!)Odds

arnold's platform
 

As a one time 9 can a day user, now down to five cans a day, I feel your pain.

S(PS: switch to Diet Dr. Pepper... it tastes sooo much better)D

A Record for Singles
 

Continuing on the black/african-american/coloured/mocha/? theme, Jarome Iginla became the first black captain in NHL history Wednesday when the talented forward was tabbed to wear the 'C' by the Calgary Flames.

http://sports.espn.go.com/nhl/news/s...rtnersite=espn

Yeah we're moving on up.

Fashion Poll Update.
 

You have no idea.

Last night, we had a hell of a reward challenge. It involved swimming out to a buoy, diving down to retrieve a sippy cup, filling the sippy cup with mashed bananas, swimming back to shore, filling a small wiggly child with said mashed bananas, and then starting a fire using nothing but a stick and some twine.

Luckily, my tribe won. For our reward, we got a big gummy smile, and to watch the Red Sox win.

Then we had the most shocking rose ceremony ever. My husband, myself, and 2 of the dogs received roses. However, "Spot"* did not receive a rose, and after crying and baring of teeth was sent out of the house. [ note:
Spot did not actually get kicked out of my house. She slept on her bed right next to my side of the bed all night long. No animals were harmed in the making of this post].

I could tell you about the eviction ceremony but this post has already belabored its point...


* Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

another announcement
 

That was not an SI style thingie. I think I have much better tricks to get attention. You know that.

Also, you would bang me before a lot of people. I am like one of maybe two fbers you just cant have and that kills you. This is evidenced by the fact that the only times you ahve posted today were about me. This also proves the needing attention thing. I have you, I dont need to retire. I am not really dead unti lyou are. So cut the bullshit.

Yet Another Reason to Love Science
 

I don't know if anyone has posted on this before. If they have, who cares, it needs to be posted yet again:

Study: Fellatio may significantly decrease the risk of breast cancer in women

(AP) -- Women who perform the act of fellatio on a regular basis, one to two times a week, may reduce their risk of breast cancer by up to 40 percent, a North Carolina State University study found.

Doctors had never suspected a link between the act of fellatio and breast cancer, but new research being performed at North Carolina State University is starting to suggest that there could be an important link between the two.

In a study of over 15,000 women suspected of having performed regular fellatio over the past ten years, the researchers found that those actually having performed the act regularly, one to two times a week, had a lower occurance of breast cancer than those who had not. There was no increased risk, however, for those who did not regularly perform.

http://www4.ncsu.edu/~brwilli2/cnn.html

aV

Coincidence? I think not.
 

Are you sure this article is legit? I was curious about who did the research, figuring it had to be men, and stumbled across this quote:

"I think it removes the last shade of doubt that fellatio is actually a healthy act," said Dr. B.J. Sooner of Johns Hopkins School of Medicine.

Too fucking funny.

sf

Edited to add: read the whole thing, stupid, of course it's a joke.

Yet Another Reason to Love Science
 

How can it be merely suspected that you regularly performed fellatio? Either you have or you haven't. Or did the researchers not ask the, um, ladies in question and thus were guessing who had and who had not? If that is the case, how does one become a suspected fellatialist? Did they sit the ladies across the room and base it on whether or not the researchers could see stretch marks around their mouths?

The validity of the research hinges on this, people.

p.s. They never said anything about swallowing. Does the study presume swallowing and is it the "honey" that actually prevents cancer? THIS is even more important than the questions above.

Someone please get right on this. I need to know before I go home.

Yet Another Reason to Love Science
 

this is more anedoctal, but we had a female cat that never went out of the house, and thus died a virgin. Her demise was from cervical or ovarian cancer.
In high school, I did try to warn some women of this potential danger.

Just in time for marriage week
 

ABC announces plans to bring over the British Show called Wife Swap. They'll call it trading moms instead.

http://www.cnn.com/2003/SHOWBIZ/TV/1...eut/index.html

Coincidence? I think not.
 

ummmm, spooky? shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

aV

A Record for Singles
 

It's interesting (I think) that the article in which I read he had been named captain made absolutely no mention of his skin color/ethnicity etc.

http://www.globeandmail.com/servlet/...NStory/Sports/

Yet Another Reason to Love Science
 

*sigh*

"Only with regular performance will your chances be reduced, so I encourage all women out there to make fellatio an important part of their daily routine," said Dr. Inserta Shafteer, one of the researchers at the University. "Since the emergence of the research, I try to fellate at least once every other night to reduce my chances."




Inserta Shafteer?

fischbacher speaks
 

Right. Because inbred mutant tigers often help one another offstage by sinking their teeth into each other's necks. I do agree with him on one thing, though. I could never imagine that Fischbacher & Horn could ever be popular and loved either.

Free Montecore!

Please, god, I need the Big Lebowski on DVD
 

GOOD POSTS BAD POSTS

In the days of yahoo
I learned what it means to be a GA
Be funny, be honest, be mean
From infirm to lawtalkers, posters work with what they gather
No matter how they try
I keep reading the same old blather

Good posts, bad posts
Slave has no hair
Though evenodds left white
For a brown skinned man
Coltrane still don't seem aware

Two thou Less fell in love
With a wingnut sweet as could be
It only took him couple of secs'
Til he splooged on Fugee
She swore that Jesus would save his soul
As she washed his splooge off
Less turned to porn, pot and beers
To practice delaying the getoff

Good posts, bad posts
chris doesn’t like much hair
A real big breasted bisexual
with garters and thongs
Too bad Slave used all his Nair

(Guitar Solo)

Good posts, bad posts
Thurgreed’s had his share
Remember his revolting flirts
with seductress c square?
Nobody seemed to care

I know what it means to be alone
To be blackballed by the fb cool clones
I don't care what the KooKoos say
I'm gonna post here each and every day
cheval posted songs that made me cry
so gcubed, try an order of pith on wry

parody suggestions
 

WHOA. As I see I have some serious competition (good work ncs and nb, so far), can I use socks to submit other songs or is it one song per poster? I really need a new magic wand. and the office on dvd, since I learned yesterday tha blockbuster doesnt carry it. shocking.

Heard at the Maul
 

In other mauling news, investigators have found a tape recording of the recent bear attacks of bear buddy Treadwell and his girlfriend Amie Huguenard. Apparently, playing dead does not work.


From the article:

"An autopsy on the human remains confirmed Wednesday the couple were killed by bears."

http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=stor...ck_3&printer=1

I find this oddly comforting. If they weren't killed by bears, this would be quite a mystery.

Yet Another Reason to Love Science
 

Sure, Leagl. As if.

parody suggestions
 

Both.

fischbacher speaks
 

I believe Roy himself, before he passed out, indicated concern for the tiger's fate--didn't want him to blamed for it. So I think Monte is safe, as he should be.

WTF is with this spate of people thinking it's a great idea to be playing around with 2 thousand pound carnivores with gigantic sharp teeth and then being all surprised to be lunch for them? Did these people learn nothing from "JAWS"?

P(get out of the water, you nimrod)J

Parody Parody
 

Oh, suhweet!!! Hello is gonna be single.

THe only problem is evcry time I see your sign off I hear Uncle Leo in my head.

fischbacher speaks
 

Horn exploits inbred mutant tigers for fun and profit and is not to be trusted. I am pleased to report that our grassroots campaign is having some success:

USDA investigates
CNN learned Wednesday that the U.S. Department of Agriculture has launched an investigation of the show for violations of the federal Animal Welfare Act.

The act requires that during public exhibition an animal must be handled in such a way that there is minimal risk of harm to both the animal and the public, a USDA spokesman said.

There must also be "sufficient distance and/or barriers between animal and audience," the spokesman said.

In the Siegfried & Roy show, the audience sat close to the stage with no barriers.

Agriculture inspectors would not say specifically what they are investigating, but public officials in Las Vegas are considering whether there should be new regulations.

http://www.cnn.com/2003/SHOWBIZ/10/0...roy/index.html

Free Montecore!

parody suggestions
 

You can use socks.


And I agree some really nice entries folks. This is great, thank you.

another announcement
 

Get outta here!! Who's the other one?

another announcement
 

One of the other paigows in my head. The one who hears Uncle Leo.

another announcement
 

Me.

Please, god, I need the Big Lebowski on DVD
 

Its sad and pathetic, sadly pathetic, that with all we have been through, you did not mention one of my socks. Well except chris, but I don't count that one since I auctioned it on eBay after its first 100 posts.

Please, god, I need the Big Lebowski on DVD
 

I actually typed in one and deleted it bc it didnt work. I may try to do another song though since I missed a lot of major FB issues.

another announcement
 

Not me. NTTAWWT.

Because you're worth it.
 

I give you all Ben Affleck's shampoo commercial.

Don't Cry for Me, Fashionistas
 

[Enter paigow, on a balcony overlooking a crowd of FBers. She is wearing white and looking remarkably like Carolyn Bessette after throwing an ashtray at JFK, Jr. -- sad eyes, icy blond hair, matte red lips. An expectant hush falls over the crowd.]

Paigow [starting softly, gaining strength as she goes]:

It won't be easy, you'll think it strange
When I try to explain how I feel
That I still need your love after all of my posts
You won't believe me
All you will see is a girl with blood blue
Although she's messed up some of the time
Her family paid Mayflower's crew.

I had to let it happen, I had to post
Couldn't stay all my life lurking here
Reading chefster's sex polls, staying out of the fun
So I chose PAIGOW!
Running around trying everyone new
But no GA impressed me at all
I never expected them to

Don't cry for me, Fashionistas
The truth is I never left you
All through my chris days
My war with JRUSS
My spats with Thurgreed
(like Slave, he's hairless)

And as for Lester, and as for Slave
I never invited them in
Though it seemed to the boards they were all I desired
Less is deluded
Slave is not the solution he promised to be
So I post here all of the time
I love you and hope you love me

Don't cry for me, Fashionistas
The truth is I never left you
All through my chris days
My war with JRUSS
My spats with Thurgreed
(like Slave, he's hairless)

Have I said too much? There's nothing more I can think of to say to you.

But all you have to do is look at me to know that every word is true.

[paigow bows to the applause, backing gracefully back off the balcony]

A Record for Singles
 

Sweet Gwinky. It appears that you found your article in a Canadian paper. Only here in the good old U S of A are we enlightened enough to be so freaking focused on skin color/ethnicity. We need to give Canada some lessons on how to divide people up into little groups. The Quebecoise picked up on it rather nicely last time around but the rest of you Canucks dropped the ball. Meet you on the Peace Bridge.

Thrashers(I love Gwinky because Gwinky's Rule!)Fan

A Record for Singles
 

This is proof of whomever had the theory that rap sucks ass. It has become the Monkeys, the Turtles, the Strawberry Alarm Clock, and Looking Glass all rapped into one.

Don't Cry for Me, Fashionistas
 

I thought I looked like Joanne Worley?

p(bravo!!! I am humbled to be tributed so)banged

A Record for Singles
 

Hi, Sunshine!

I'd like everyone to know that one of the best hip-hop albums of the last ten years was released last week.

Pick up OutKast's Speakerboxxx/The Love Below to see where the music lives gloriously.

http://slate.msn.com/id/2089335/

Edited to add this quote:

"If somebody tries that "rapping isn't music" nonsense with you (it still happens), hand them any of Big Boi's verses from Stankonia and ask them to map out the accents, references, and feet. Give them several days and lots of graph paper. (You might want to mention the quality of something is rarely correlated to complexity, but that stuff tends to impress ignoramae.) OutKast's overtorqued physical impact, the sense that their records are more there than anyone else's, comes in large part from Big Boi. The essence of Southern rap, the bounce, is all there in Big Boi's voice and beats. Just listen to the first two minutes of "Knowing," one of Speakerboxxx's most propulsive tracks. It's like watching someone tap-dance on a moving sidewalk while carrying three glasses of champagne. Blindfolded."

Paigow's Underpants Are Calling
 

"Heart patients may soon be able to buy underwear designed to detect heart rhythm abnormalities and even call for an ambulance in case of emergency, according to researchers at Netherlands-based Philips Electronics."

http://www.msnbc.com/news/977635.asp?vts=100920030836

"THE RESEARCHERS have developed sensors that measure body signals such as heart rate information, which can be sewn into bras and shorts and which connect to a thin chip module that monitors the signals."

"Should the patient suffer a heart attack, the system can trigger local alarms or wirelessly link with a mobile phone."


So the poll question is: If your underwear could link with a mobile phone, who would it call?

Of course, this could lead to annoying calls from some goober's secretary saying "Please hold while I connect you to Mr. Asshat's underpants."

Pet Peeve
 

Maybe its bc I have PMS, but is anyone else annoyed by people who email you with oh so clever headers on the email? Like "charmingly disarming"? That kinda thing?

Paigow's Underpants Are Calling
 

I have nothing to add. I just wanted to see this re: line again.